Humour & Jokes

Do you have a GSOH?

  • Yes

    Votes: 35 47.3%
  • Sometimes

    Votes: 13 17.6%
  • No

    Votes: 8 10.8%
  • What's a GSOH?

    Votes: 18 24.3%

  • Total voters
    74

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
Joined
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That quote should be immediately followed by swigging the last of a pint, rising up from a three legged stool and asking who wants some crisps while you're at the bar. Legend.
Indeed he was Ringo. He bought one of those old pop up pirate games from a Cromer charity shop one day, we took it to our favourite pub then got some blue tack off the barmaid and stuck a lit cigarette on the top pointing up so we could play Russian roulette pop up pirate :


He went through a brief stage of suddenly having to crap if we were out so he'd rush to find the closest place (usually over someone's garden fence) so he renamed himself 'The Brown Pimpernel' .. he was also one of only two people who agreed to 'invent' off cliff sledging with me one year and was responsible for a couple of harmless prank stunts that the police are still investigating.
 

Ringo

Sanitised for your protection
Joined
Feb 24, 2005
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Stockholm
I say a load of Tommy Cooper-esque jokes yesterday...here are my favourite two. They could also be the work of Tim Vine.

Went to a job interview and the interviewer said they were looking for a responsible person.
"That's me", I said, "Whenever something went wrong at my last job they always said that I was responsible."

I asked my gym instructor "Can you teach me how to do the splits?"
He said, "Well that depends how flexible you are."
So I said, "Well, I can't do Tuesdays."
 

Shady

Mary Queen of Scots...temping as DEATHS Kitty
Joined
Apr 24, 2011
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I remember my boss coming over to me one day, he stood at the side of me and said "I am going to pay you what you are worth" I said *That's not fair, I'm not working for nothing"
 

Bad Bungle

Dingo took my tray bake.
Joined
Oct 13, 2018
Messages
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Location
The Chilterns
I read a story (possibly true) about a Pensioner who used to leave his Blue Badge permit on permanent display on his dashboard. Over time the sunlight bleached the laminate and he got a ticket for illegal parking after the Warden couldn't discern the Badge expiry date. The local Paper got wind of this and urged him to phone the Council to complain (no doubt hoping things would escalate and they would get a meatier Human Interest story). But the Council was very reasonable and cancelled the ticket.
Or as the Old Boy put it : "I phoned the Council and a very nice man said I should take my new Badge and put it somewhere where the Sun don't shine .."
 
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