Humour & Jokes

Do you have a GSOH?

  • Yes

    Votes: 33 45.8%
  • Sometimes

    Votes: 13 18.1%
  • No

    Votes: 8 11.1%
  • What's a GSOH?

    Votes: 18 25.0%

  • Total voters
    72

Verbal Earthworm

_Anagrammatical_
Joined
Aug 21, 2018
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macc

Junior Acolyte
Joined
Jan 6, 2017
Messages
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70
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At a job interview I was asked what my biggest weakness was. “My complete honesty”, I replied. “Oh, I don’t think being honest is a problem” replied the interviewer. “I don’t give a **** what you think” I replied.

I did not get the job.
Excellent, really cheered me up
 

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
Joined
Sep 15, 2013
Messages
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Stifler's gay bar dance off .. brilliant. Just brilliant.

This reminds me of my old flatmate, he was always pulling stunts like this. One time he saw a girl who was one of our mates, did a comedy bend her over the bar and air bum her move and that's when we all realised she wasn't our mate but some random tourist's wife. Her husband was so shocked he didn't do anything.

 
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titch

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Sep 30, 2009
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2,777
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159
The Scotland manager today denied his team is in crisis after shock defeats to Narnia and the shire. He said the referee was at fault in all 4 goals Scotland conceded to the shire, all from corner kicks, MacLeish said his defence where not protected as the hobbits scored 4 goals from headers.
He then lambasted fifa for allowing Narnia to field ineligible players, stating Lucy, Peter, Edmond and Susan where actually from a cupboard, and that Aslan had pulled a fast one.

However ending the press conference on a positive note, Macleish said he was perhaps a bit confident of getting a decent result against Hogwarts , but the fans should bare in mind that Dumbledore has some wizards in midfield.
 
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Comfortably Numb

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Aug 7, 2018
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Phone
A few years back, BBC Scotland were running an article about the Edinburgh festival.

They interviewed three teenage girls on holiday from Japan and they were super excited, 'We've got tickets to see the Red Hot Chilli Peppers'!!!!

Well... erm... not quite...

I've always wondered at which point they found out!

 

Mythopoeika

I am a meat popsicle
Joined
Sep 18, 2001
Messages
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Location
Inside a starship, watching puny humans from afar
A few years back, BBC Scotland were running an article about the Edinburgh festival.

They interviewed three teenage girls on holiday from Japan and they were super excited, 'We've got tickets to see the Red Hot Chilli Peppers'!!!!

Well... erm... not quite...

I've always wondered at which point they found out!

They're pretty good, though.
 

genex17

Ephemeral Spectre
Joined
Aug 26, 2010
Messages
282
Likes
446
Points
69
Location
Bezerkeley
Doug wanted to try getting more business with a catchy slogan, so he placed an advertisement in the local paper:

"Doug's Automotive Radiator Repair--Best place in town to take a leak."

I checked with Doug a few days later to see how well it worked and he told me,
"I definitely have more people walking through the door, but they all want to use the toilet."
 
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