Humour & Jokes

Do you have a GSOH?

  • Yes

    Votes: 35 47.3%
  • Sometimes

    Votes: 13 17.6%
  • No

    Votes: 8 10.8%
  • What's a GSOH?

    Votes: 18 24.3%

  • Total voters
    74

Krepostnoi

Popular orange vegetable
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Bogus? Is there any other kind?
Here, I'll have you know that every word in my post was tossed off without pause for thought carefully weighed for rhythm and comic effect. The epithet sets up a delightful* comic** tension with the punchline: how could a bogus psychic have seen my M-i-L coming? And, yes, that is a deliberate M-i-L reference for the timeslip devotees among us.
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
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I went to a psychic and knocked on her front door.

She yelled out, “Who is it?” So I left.
True story: when I went to see a psychic* we both clearly heard the front door letterbox clatter and something being shoved through it and land on the doormat. We said 'That'll be the free paper!' and went on with things.

When I left she moved to pick up the newspaper but it wasn't there. Only she and I were in the place and there was no dog present to pick it up and carry it off. She said 'We both heard it!' and was visibly shaken at the idea of something actually supernatural happening.

*This was the charlatan who was recommended to me after a traumatic bereavement. She astutely deduced that I was a lonely lesbian sports teacher. TOTALLY accurate except that I'm straight and had just married Techy and am about as uninterested in sports as it's possible to be.
 

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
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True story: when I went to see a psychic* we both clearly heard the front door letterbox clatter and something being shoved through it and land on the doormat. We said 'That'll be the free paper!' and went on with things.

When I left she moved to pick up the newspaper but it wasn't there. Only she and I were in the place and there was no dog present to pick it up and carry it off. She said 'We both heard it!' and was visibly shaken at the idea of something actually supernatural happening.

*This was the charlatan who was recommended to me after a traumatic bereavement. She astutely deduced that I was a lonely lesbian sports teacher. TOTALLY accurate except that I'm straight and had just married Techy and am about as uninterested in sports as it's possible to be.
Without wanting to weird you out, I had a very odd dream the night before last that, amongst other things, had YOU in it (and Mytho I think) .. you had your feet up on a bar bench but for some reason you were a red head and didn't look like you and someone else was trying to give me shit about something .. and my teeth had started to crumble out and I was trying to eat them.
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
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but for some reason you were a red head and didn't look like you
You weird bugger. I've been considering going red for a while, just as a change. Haven't discussed it with anyone else!

Also, I recently had a tooth out because it was actually crumbling and couldn't be repaired. Bits sometimes fell off it and I used to worry about swallowing them.
 

Swifty

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You weird bugger. I've been considering going red for a while, just as a change. Haven't discussed it with anyone else!

Also, I recently had a tooth out because it was actually crumbling and couldn't be repaired. Bits sometimes fell off it and I used to worry about swallowing them.
Very strange! .. and I'm not sure how I knew it was Mytho either seeing as I haven't got a clue what he looks or sounds like. The bar was at the end of a long hospital ward for some reason.

Your hair was red and straightened, sort of a cross between Yvette Fielding and some 60's hippy chick btw. It suited 'you'. You were wearing a green patterned top and almost cargo pants trousers and had no shoes or socks on .. while I was arguing with that twat next to me.
 

Swifty

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We'd both've stayed in that field of employment if those particular facilities were available.
A friend had to go to hospital when we were on holiday 20 odd years ago in Magaluf (or Mega Muff as he called it) and there actually was a posh bar inside the hospital.

I kept the receipt for my drink and showed it off to my ward matron when I got back to work :boozing:
 

escargot

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A friend had to go to hospital when we were on holiday 20 odd years ago in Magaluf (or Mega Muff as he called it) and there actually was a posh bar inside the hospital.

I kept the receipt for my drink and showed it off to my ward matron when I got back to work :boozing:
That's probably the way the NHS will go under Boris/Hunt.

Our local hospital was a new build about 40 years ago and its shop sold tobacco and smoking products. I don't think it stocked alcohol then but it probably does now.

On the subject of hospital shops; have you noticed how miserable the staff are? The worst in my experience are the Hospital League of Friends type tea/coffee/snack bars. If they cracked a smile they'd drop dead.
 

Bigphoot2

Not sprouts! I hate sprouts.
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*This was the charlatan who was recommended to me after a traumatic bereavement. She astutely deduced that I was a lonely lesbian sports teacher. TOTALLY accurate except that I'm straight and had just married Techy and am about as uninterested in sports as it's possible to be.
But maybe she wasn't a charlatan and had seen what you were like in a previous life.
 
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