Humour & Jokes

Do you have a GSOH?

  • Yes

    Votes: 35 47.3%
  • Sometimes

    Votes: 13 17.6%
  • No

    Votes: 8 10.8%
  • What's a GSOH?

    Votes: 18 24.3%

  • Total voters
    74

Bigphoot2

Not sprouts! I hate sprouts.
Joined
Jul 30, 2005
Messages
6,105
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Australian Love Poem

Of course I love ya darlin
You're a bloody top-notch bird
And when I say you're gorgeous
I mean every single word

So ya bum is on the big side
I don't mind a bit of flab
It means that when I'm ready
There's somethin' there to grab

So your belly isn't flat no more
I tell ya, I don't care
So long as when I cuddle ya
I can get my arms round there

No Sheila who is your age
Has nice round perky breasts
They just gave in to gravity
But I know ya did ya best

I'm tellin' ya the truth now
I never tell ya lies
I think it’s very sexy
That you've got dimples on ya thighs

I swear on me nanna's grave now
The moment that we met
I thought you was as good as
I was ever gonna get

No matter what u look like
I'll always love ya dear
Now shut up while the cricket’s on
And fetch another beer..
 

Lb8535

Ephemeral Spectre
Joined
Sep 2, 2015
Messages
426
Likes
793
Points
94
Location
EST
Late night radio gets strange commercials. This one sold insurance to people in poor health. The agent goes by the name of "Big Lou."

In a "wait, what?" moment, the announcer closes with:

"Big Lou is just like you, he's on meds too."
Not so strange. This is a standard commercial for a large life insurance brokerage firm that runs constantly on many stations. They specialize in getting quotes for people who are not in perfect health. I doubt that as promised "big lou" answers the phone however.
 

genex17

Ephemeral Spectre
Joined
Aug 26, 2010
Messages
290
Likes
491
Points
69
Location
Bezerkeley
Not so strange. This is a standard commercial for a large life insurance brokerage firm that runs constantly on many stations. They specialize in getting quotes for people who are not in perfect health. I doubt that as promised "big lou" answers the phone however.
My usual news station in San Francisco does not run that commercial. It's the paranormal Coast to Coast show off a Seattle affiliate that runs commercials for carnavora, various supplements, and this medical insurance broker. I just do a few things when these commercials run in the background, but there are times when I think, "did I hear what I just heard?" Thanks for that info.
 

Lizard King

Devoted Cultist
Joined
Apr 16, 2019
Messages
229
Likes
550
Points
93
Two down on their luck tramps {can we still say that?}Tommy and Bobby were pondering how to fill their hungry stomachs.
"I know what I'm going to do "says Tommy
"What's that Tommy?"says Bobby
"I'm going into the baker's shop there and when the baker's not looking, I'm going to steal some pies"
Tommy heads into the bakery with Bobby close behind him. Sure enough the baker's shop is busy and when the baker isn't looking, Tommy sticks 3 pies in his coat pockets.
"That's not very nice stealing off the baker like that, I'll show you how its done"says Bobby.
"Excuse me sir would you like to see a magic trick?"says Bobby to the baker.
The baker is less busy and intrigued .
"Well go on then lets see what you can do"
"I will make this pie disappear"
Bobby picks up a pie and scoffs it down quickly.
"Mmm okay"says the baker puzzled
Bobby quickly eats another pie followed by another.
"Okay, you've just ate three of my pies, so what's the magic trick?"
"Now my good man if you would like to check the pockets of my good friend here"..
 

INT21

Antediluvian
Joined
Jul 18, 2016
Messages
5,158
Likes
3,659
Points
229
Three women standing at an Aussie bar.

A miner comes in and shout across to them...

'Any of you shielas fancy a shag ?'

On of the women picks up her hand bag and starts walking towards the door.

'Your place or mine, you sweet talking bastard' ?
 

Mythopoeika

I am a meat popsicle
Joined
Sep 18, 2001
Messages
35,354
Likes
21,186
Points
309
Location
Inside a starship, watching puny humans from afar
Three women standing at an Aussie bar.

A miner comes in and shout across to them...

'Any of you shielas fancy a shag ?'

On of the women picks up her hand bag and starts walking towards the door.

'Your place or mine, you sweet talking bastard' ?
Took me a while to get that.
 
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