Humour & Jokes

Do you have a GSOH?

  • Yes

    Votes: 42 47.7%
  • Sometimes

    Votes: 14 15.9%
  • No

    Votes: 11 12.5%
  • What's a GSOH?

    Votes: 21 23.9%

  • Total voters
    88

RaM

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A bloke is travelling from London to Inverness on the overnight sleeper train.

After dinner and a few drinks he heads off to his cabin but as he gets there he notices a young women going into the same place. He says “I’m sorry but you’re in the wrong place, this is my cabin” They compare tickets and sure enough they’ve both been booked into the same twin cabin.

The guy says “No bother, I’ll have a word with the guard and get it changed”

She says “Look, it’s not that big a deal - we’re both adults, I’ll get ready and jump into the bottom bunk then I’ll give a knock on the door and you can jump into the top bunk”

The guy says “OK, that sounds like a plan” and they both turn in for the night.

In the middle of the night the woman gives him a nudge from below and says

“Hello? I’m very cold, could you fetch me a blanket?”

He says “How cold are you?”

“Very, very cold”

”Well if you’re that cold we could pretend we’re married”

”Oh, OK”

”Good, get your own effin' blanket“
 

kamalktk

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I got sick at a small hotel in Madrid. I called the front desk and they told me they had a doctor on staff. After he made me feel better, I told him I was amazed such a small place had a doctor. He nodded and said...
NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INN PHYSICIAN!!!!
 

RaM

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A simplified urine test that may be relevant for you!


Go outside and pee in the garden…..

If ants gather: Diabetes.

If you pee on your feet: Prostate.

If it smells like a barbecue: Cholesterol.

If, when you shake it, your wrist hurts: Osteoarthritis.

If you
leave the bathroom with your penis outside your pants: Alzheimer.
 

Comfortably Numb

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... A simplified urine test that may be relevant for you!
What if, despite best endeavours, you can't wee at all?

That would be, 'urinary retention'.


What if, inadvertently caught one's willie in trouser zip, when finalising the assignment?

Given that extracting same, normally takes a few minutes, might we agree on...

'That would be resultant of carelessness, so stop whining - no matter how excruciatingly painful - whilst the operation is ongoing'.
 

Ogdred Weary

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A simplified urine test that may be relevant for you!



Go outside and pee in the garden…..


If ants gather: Diabetes.


If you pee on your feet: Prostate.


If it smells like a barbecue: Cholesterol.


If, when you shake it, your wrist hurts: Osteoarthritis.


If you leave the bathroom with your penis outside your pants: Alzheimer.

If you leave your penis inside the bathroom: leprosy.
 

Comfortably Numb

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If double in length, that's called being me.

maximus otter
:shifty:
Wondering if maybe shouldn't have mentioned this.

I mean, what happens if one willie needs a wee and the other one doesn't, or do they work in unison?

As for your sex life, whether you have a partner, or.... just on your own... :tears:
 

Shady

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At ^ :rofl2::rofl2::rofl2::rofl2:
 

Bigphoot2

Not sprouts! I hate sprouts.
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When I was a boy, my mum would send me down to the corner shop with £1 and I’d come home with a couple of tins of soup, two loaves of bread, half a dozen eggs, a pint of milk, a packet of biscuits, a cake and a comic for myself.

I couldn’t do that now… far too many security cameras.
 
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