Humour & Jokes

Do you have a GSOH?

  • Yes

    Votes: 39 46.4%
  • Sometimes

    Votes: 14 16.7%
  • No

    Votes: 10 11.9%
  • What's a GSOH?

    Votes: 21 25.0%

  • Total voters
    84

Lord Lucan

Justified & Ancient
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Bad taste religious humour ahead...

A catholic priest asks his colleague to take care of the confessions while he is away on holiday and gives him a list of what "punishments" he should give the people according to their sins.

On the first day a man walks in to confess: "Oh father forgive me for I have sinned. I have had anal sex."
The priest quickly checks his list but cannot find the punishment for anal sex.
Not knowing what to do, he quickly ducks out and asks one of the altar boys: "Hey, what does your priest give for having anal sex?"
The boy answers: " Sometimes a Snickers, sometimes a Mars Bar."
 

blessmycottonsocks

Justified & Ancient
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Yep .. not that I'm proud of it .. and Phantom Of The Mall .. and Intruder aka Night Crew - The Final Check Out which I am proud of ..
Arf! I must admit to being something of a Wynorski fan - his Deathstalker 2 is one of my all-time favourite movies (and the theme tune is my ring tone).
Here's the end-credits, with some out-takes (including brief nudity):

 

brownmane

off kilter
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L
Have you seen this classic Jim Wynorski B movie?

View attachment 22412
Love it. I also love Dawn of the Dead. If anyone is looking for theme related movies. Often when I'm people watching in a mall, I think of Dawn and chuckle.

I also get a laugh in stores when I pretend I'm really interested in a random item and suddenly there comes four or five people having to have a look. People's behaviours are easily, surreptitiously manipulated.
 

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
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Often when I'm people watching in a mall, I think of Dawn and chuckle.
I used to work in a supermarket and every morning you'd get 'them' .. ten to eight before we opened and 'they' (mostly pensioners) would be zombie leaning on the windows looking in .. I used to whistle this exact Dawn of the Dead/Goblin music to myself just to cheer myself up. Romero hit the nail on the head with is consumerism angle on that film.

(the tune I used to whistle)

 
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Yithian

Parish Watch
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East of Suez
This made me smile. Sometimes you can't win with reviewers:

(Waiting For) The Ghost Train was written by Suggs about apartheid in South Africa, with its chorus "It's black and white, don't try to hide it" and the line "The station master's writing with a piece of orange chalk / One hundred cancellations, still no one wants to walk" (in reference to the South African flag).
Simon Mills of Smash Hits reviewed it thus: "Their "farewell single" is more of the same doomy stuff about an unfortunate bunch of folk who are all waiting for this train that never comes. Life's like that isn't it?"

Source:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/(Waiting_For)_The_Ghost_Train
 

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
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"I got married you know"
"I didn't know you got married?"
"It was one of those 'quiet' weddings"
"Quiet weddings?"
"I didn't go."

(Eric and Ern)
 
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