Humour & Jokes

Do you have a GSOH?

  • Yes

    Votes: 39 47.0%
  • Sometimes

    Votes: 13 15.7%
  • No

    Votes: 10 12.0%
  • What's a GSOH?

    Votes: 21 25.3%

  • Total voters
    83

escargot

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This made me smile. Sometimes you can't win with reviewers:

(Waiting For) The Ghost Train was written by Suggs about apartheid in South Africa, with its chorus "It's black and white, don't try to hide it" and the line "The station master's writing with a piece of orange chalk / One hundred cancellations, still no one wants to walk" (in reference to the South African flag).
Simon Mills of Smash Hits reviewed it thus: "Their "farewell single" is more of the same doomy stuff about an unfortunate bunch of folk who are all waiting for this train that never comes. Life's like that isn't it?"

Source:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/(Waiting_For)_The_Ghost_Train
Smash Hits though, what did anyone expect? :dunno:
 

escargot

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In the great days of the British Empire, a new commanding officer was sent to a jungle outpost to relieve the retiring colonel. After welcoming his replacement and showing the usual courtesies (gin and tonic, cucumber sandwiches etc) that protocol decrees, the retiring colonel said, "You must meet my Adjutant, Captain Smithers, he’s my right-hand man, he's really the strength of this office. His talent is simply boundless."

Smithers was summoned and introduced to the new CO, who was surprised to meet a drooling, hunchbacked, one eyed, toothless, hairless, foul-smelling, scabbed and pockmarked specimen of humanity, a particularly unattractive man less than three feet tall. "Smithers, old man, tell your new CO about yourself."

"Well, sir, I graduated with honours from Sandhurst, joined the regiment and won the Military Cross and Bar after three expeditions behind enemy lines. I've represented Great Britain in equestrian events, won a Silver Medal in the middleweight boxing division of the Olympics. I have researched the history of....."
Here the colonel interrupted, "Yes, yes, never mind that Smithers, he can find all that in your file. Tell him about the day you told the witch doctor to fuck off."
 

gordonrutter

There must be a set character limit to this opt...
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HE BLOODY ISN'T GORDON! .. either description .. me and you, in the Trolls Head car park in ten minutes mate .. NOW!
Harry is Charles son not grandson and the ginger comes from the Spencer side, look at his uncle Earl Spencer, he’s the spit of him. And what’s your weapon of choice?
 

Swifty

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Harry is Charles son not grandson and the ginger comes from the Spencer side, look at his uncle Earl Spencer, he’s the spit of him. And what’s your weapon of choice?
Don't try and talk your way out of it now mate .. the Trolls is about to close so you'd better phone your Mum now
 
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