Humour & Jokes

Do you have a GSOH?

  • Yes

    Votes: 39 47.0%
  • Sometimes

    Votes: 13 15.7%
  • No

    Votes: 10 12.0%
  • What's a GSOH?

    Votes: 21 25.3%

  • Total voters
    83

cycleboy2

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Dec 22, 2005
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I occasionally comment on a blog about comic-book artists from the 60s-80s. Anytime I mention a talented gentleman by the name of Carmine Infantino, my phone auto-corrects it to Canine Infantile.

Also, I recall reading somewhere years ago that a music journalist submitted an article on drummers to his editor, not realising that his pc had changed 'Bonzo Bonham' to 'Bonus Bonhomie'.
I tend to be careful sending email but sometimes fail to check the title hasn't been changed by the always-helpful Outlook spellchecker, so I have sent emails about Mum-Off (rather than Muc-Off) and Cannonade bikes rather than Cannondale. Thanks, guys, why don't you make me look like a numpty!?
 

Tigerhawk

Dazed and confused...
Joined
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Jamie Oliver: Keep calm and carry on Cooking,
Instructing us on how to make a versatile tomato sauce using 7 different vegetables and 2 tins of bastard tomatoes. Well good luck with that, when the reality is having half an onion and a manky bottle of Aldi ketchup to hand.
Smug Bastard.
It's amazing what you can do with half an onion, a manky bottle of Aldi ketchup and a smug bastard...

(Damned auto correct, turned Manky into Manly!)
 

Tribble

Killjoy Boffin
Joined
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Jamie Oliver: Keep calm and carry on Cooking,
Instructing us on how to make a versatile tomato sauce using 7 different vegetables and 2 tins of bastard tomatoes. Well good luck with that, when the reality is having half an onion and a manky bottle of Aldi ketchup to hand.
Smug Bastard.
That job should've gone to Jack Monroe. She's spent years showing people how to use basic, cheap stuff and make tasty meals. And now she's doing exactly this on Twitter - people show what odds and ends they have, she gives ideas. Loads every day. Instead they gave the job to Jamie "Pantry full of stuff" Oliver.
 

maximus otter

Recovering policeman
Joined
Aug 9, 2001
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That job should've gone to Jack Monroe. She's spent years showing people how to use basic, cheap stuff and make tasty meals. And now she's doing exactly this on Twitter - people show what odds and ends they have, she gives ideas. Loads every day. Instead they gave the job to Jamie "Pantry full of stuff" Oliver.
Yeah, l understand that her kale pesto pasta with lemon chilli breadcrumbs is a staple in Peckham by the end of one’s dole cheque.

maximus otter
 

Tribble

Killjoy Boffin
Joined
Apr 21, 2015
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Lb8535

Very charming snow person
Joined
Sep 2, 2015
Messages
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134
Location
EST
Jamie Oliver: Keep calm and carry on Cooking,
Instructing us on how to make a versatile tomato sauce using 7 different vegetables and 2 tins of bastard tomatoes. Well good luck with that, when the reality is having half an onion and a manky bottle of Aldi ketchup to hand.
Smug Bastard.
Is this a web site?
 

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
Joined
Sep 15, 2013
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Readers anonymous confessions on Twitter ..

* DUMPED - "Dumped my first serious girlfriend
using some shit excuse when in reality I was doing her from behind, she turned around to look at me & hand on heart I don't know why but she looked the absolute fucking double of Graham Norton & I couldn't get it out of my mind."

* STONED - "It's my day off, I found some weed in my son's bedroom this morning and smoked it in the back garden. I've been stoned off my box for two hours and have eaten all of the cheese left over from Christmas - fucking brilliant...I'm 49, best day off ever!"

* REVENGE - "Rugby captain at school made my life a misery. He also worked at a local pub, school hero. Went back 10 years later, found him still working there. Ordered a round, made sure I asked for the Guinness last."

*STUDENT ANGST - "20 years ago, in my twenties, I was refused entry to a student party. Undeterred I gained access through a back door and shat in a Breville toastie maker, closed it, turned it on and left. I always wondered what the aftermath was."

https://twitter.com/fesshole
 
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Bigphoot2

Not sprouts! I hate sprouts.
Joined
Jul 30, 2005
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I was talking to my young nephew the other day and I asked him which letter comes after A ? He said "all of them".
That reminds me of my nephew when I was teaching him colours. I showed him a red car and asked "What colour is that?"
"It's not blue."
"Yes, but what colour is it?"
"It's not green."
"Yes, but what colour is it?"
"It's not yellow."
I gave up on that and showed him a blue car.
"What colour is this car?"
"It's not red."
 

Analogue Boy

The new Number 6
Joined
Aug 10, 2005
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Jamie Oliver: Keep calm and carry on Cooking,
Instructing us on how to make a versatile tomato sauce using 7 different vegetables and 2 tins of bastard tomatoes. Well good luck with that, when the reality is having half an onion and a manky bottle of Aldi ketchup to hand.
Smug Bastard.
Turkey Twizzlers not such a nightmare now eh?
 
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