Humour & Jokes

Do you have a GSOH?

  • Yes

    Votes: 40 46.5%
  • Sometimes

    Votes: 14 16.3%
  • No

    Votes: 11 12.8%
  • What's a GSOH?

    Votes: 21 24.4%

  • Total voters
    86

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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A man rushes into his house and says to his wife "I've won £7.2 million on the lottery.....pack your suitcases and don't forget to find your passport too!"
"Oooh" says his wife "...are we going on holiday?"
"No" says the man "...I'm throwing you out!"
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
Joined
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A guy stands over his tee shot for what seems an eternity:
looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed.
Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long?
Hit the damn ball!"
The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse.
I want to make this a perfect shot."
"Forget it, man," says his partner.
"You'll never hit her from here."
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
Joined
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Messages
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Location
Welwyn Garden City (but oddly, not an actual city)
An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying. A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying.
“Well,” says the old fellow, “I just got married to a twenty-five year old woman. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast, and then we spend the morning having great sex. In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch then we spend the afternoon having great sex again. At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then during the evening we visit a great local pub with all our friends, go home and at night have great sex again.”
The policeman looks at the old man and says, “You shouldn’t be crying! You should be the happiest man in the world!”
So the old man says, “I know! I’m crying because I don’t remember where I live!”
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
Joined
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Messages
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Location
Welwyn Garden City (but oddly, not an actual city)
Joe loved golf, but his eyesight had gotten so bad, that he couldn't find his ball once he'd hit it.
He consulted with his wife, and she recommended that Joe bring along her uncle Ted.
Joe said, "But Ted is 80 years old and half senile!"
His wife replied, "Yes, but his eyesight is incredible."
Joe finally agreed and took Ted along. He teed off and could feel that he had hit it solidly.
He asked Ted, "Do you see it?" Ted nodded his head and said, "Boy, that was a beautiful shot!"
Joe excitedly asked, "Well, where did it land?!"
Ted said, "Hmmm. I forget."
 

michael59

Abominable Snowman
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Joking aside, that seems to be what they're doing round my way. Lots of roads are closed due to roadworks.
Actually, I noticed that here too. lol

How dare they do something so surprisingly right and catch us off guard! lol
 

tuco

Spitting in a wishing well
Joined
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south of south
A husband and wife undress before going to bed, the wife stands in front of a mirror and says to her husband, "my hairs gone grey, I have a double chin, my boobs are saggy, I have a belly and my thighs are fat, please say something to cheer me up", he replies, "your eyesight is still perfect".
 
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