Humour & Jokes

Do you have a GSOH?

  • Yes

    Votes: 50 52.1%
  • Sometimes

    Votes: 14 14.6%
  • No

    Votes: 11 11.5%
  • What's a GSOH?

    Votes: 21 21.9%

  • Total voters
    96

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces.
The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.
"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the Coroner.
"Second body: Scotsman, 25, won ten thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.
"He thought he was having his picture taken."
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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There was a funnier one than that today - I've no idea how to embed them, but the "apeman experiments" one was absolutely wonderful.
There you go, I've done it for you.
Don't say I don't ever give you anything!

farside Apeman.png
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
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Gawd bless yer, sir! I was laughing for about a minute when I saw that this morning.
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
Joined
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Location
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At a restaurant, one of the customers notices that all of the waiters have two spoons in their vest pockets.
A waiter explains, "We see that the most frequently dropped silverware is spoons, therefore we keep them for replacement."
Then the customer notices a string hanging out of all the waiters' flies.
"The string is for us to go to the bathroom," explains the waiter.
"That way, when we pull it, it shoots and aims straight, and we don't need to use our hands."
The customer asks, "Well, that's how you get it out, but how do you get it back in?"
The waiter replies, "Well, that's another reason we carry the spoons."
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
Joined
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Points
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Location
Welwyn Garden City (but oddly, not an actual city)
A man was telling his neighbour, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand pounds, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.”
“Really,” answered the neighbour. “What kind is it?”
“Oooh, about Twelve thirty.”
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
Joined
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Messages
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Location
Welwyn Garden City (but oddly, not an actual city)
I couldn't get any viagra from the doctors so I went to boots and got the generic version instead.
Mycoxafloppin.
 
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