Humour & Jokes

Do you have a GSOH?

  • Yes

    Votes: 44 48.9%
  • Sometimes

    Votes: 14 15.6%
  • No

    Votes: 11 12.2%
  • What's a GSOH?

    Votes: 21 23.3%

  • Total voters
    90

escargot

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All mothers think "What's that bloody racket?" - along with "This room is a bomb sight!"...
My parents wouldn't allow music to be played loudly enough to be heard through an ear pressed to the outside of my bedroom door. Back then headphones were expensive so there was little point in bothering.

As far as I'm concerned music is a human right. So when my own four kids were of an age to play music for fun I bought them all CD players etc and told them to go for it.
We lived in an end terrace with deaf pensioners nearby so as long as they could hear me call them for tea the volume didn't matter.

This meant I could tell who was in as I drove round the corner by the din blaring out; gangsta rap, classical, 70s rock or the Spice Girls, or a mixture thereof.

The music was turned down around 9pm, which is when I'd also stop any noisy DIY, and nobody ever complained.
 

GingerTabby

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My parents wouldn't allow music to be played loudly enough to be heard through an ear pressed to the outside of my bedroom door. Back then headphones were expensive so there was little point in bothering.

As far as I'm concerned music is a human right. So when my own four kids were of an age to play music for fun I bought them all CD players etc and told them to go for it.
We lived in an end terrace with deaf pensioners nearby so as long as they could hear me call them for tea the volume didn't matter.

This meant I could tell who was in as I drove round the corner by the din blaring out; gangsta rap, classical, 70s rock or the Spice Girls, or a mixture thereof.

The music was turned down around 9pm, which is when I'd also stop any noisy DIY, and nobody ever complained.
My parents adhered to a similar policy. In addition, I wasn't permitted to play music in the sitting room. Naturally, whenever they were both out for an extended period of time I would do just that. I always kept one eye on the driveway and would turn the music off when I saw them pull in. While I never got caught, the unintended consequence of this practice was that the dog learned to associate the sound of the stereo being turned off with someone coming in the house. Whenever one of my parents would turn off the stereo the dog would run to the side door and bark in anticipation of a visitor. My parents were puzzled by her actions and would check to see if a car was in the driveway. With no car in sight, my parents wondered if the dog's behaviour was a sign of dementia. I never did tell them the truth.
 

escargot

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My parents adhered to a similar policy. In addition, I wasn't permitted to play music in the sitting room. Naturally, whenever they were both out for an extended period of time I would do just that. I always kept one eye on the driveway and would turn the music off when I saw them pull in. While I never got caught, the unintended consequence of this practice was that the dog learned to associate the sound of the stereo being turned off with someone coming in the house. Whenever one of my parents would turn off the stereo the dog would run to the side door and bark in anticipation of a visitor. My parents were puzzled by her actions and would check to see if a car was in the driveway. With no car in sight, my parents wondered if the dog's behaviour was a sign of dementia. I never did tell them the truth.
Reminds me of my bike with a squeak. Took me a while to work out how my dogs and cats knew when I arrived home; they'd hear the squeak. I couldn't sneak up on them!

The truth emerged when I was sitting on my bed with them watching TV. Some other squeaky bike went past the house, and all the pets heard it and took off down the stairs to greet me, the idiots.
 

michael59

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I didn't find out until I was grown and moved out on my own but, my parents used to hide my records in the linen closet so I couldn't play them.
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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I bet £7 at 7/1 on a horse called 'lucky seven' in the 7.07 evening race at ascot - it came in seventh.
................

I placed a small bun down the back of my pants before I sat at the roulette table in the casino and i won on every spin of the wheel - i was on a roll!
................

I'm reading a book on the history of superglue - i can't put it down
................

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - i don't like to interrupt her
................

I bought my kitten a onesie - it's the cats pyjamas!
 

Mythopoeika

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Two rednecks were out hunting, and as they were walking along they came upon a huge hole in the ground and were amazed at its size!

The first hunter said, "Wow, that's some hole I can't see the bottom, wonder how deep it is?"

The second hunter says, "Let's throw something down there, listen, and see how long it takes to hit bottom."
The first hunter says, "Great idea, there's an old gear box over there, give me a hand and we'll throw it in and see."
So they picked up the gear box, carried it over to the hole and heaved it in. As they were standing there looking over the edge of the hole and listening they heard a rustling behind them and as they turned around, they saw a goat come crashing through the bushes run up to the hole, and jump in head first!
While they were standing there staring at each other in amazement, an old farmer sauntered up and said, "Say there, you fellers didn't happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you?"
The first hunter said, "Funny you should ask, we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came flying out of the bushes and jumped headlong into this hole!!"
The old farmer said, "Nah, that's impossible, had him chained to an old gear box...."
 

Lb8535

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Two rednecks were out hunting, and as they were walking along they came upon a huge hole in the ground and were amazed at its size!

The first hunter said, "Wow, that's some hole I can't see the bottom, wonder how deep it is?"

The second hunter says, "Let's throw something down there, listen, and see how long it takes to hit bottom."
The first hunter says, "Great idea, there's an old gear box over there, give me a hand and we'll throw it in and see."
So they picked up the gear box, carried it over to the hole and heaved it in. As they were standing there looking over the edge of the hole and listening they heard a rustling behind them and as they turned around, they saw a goat come crashing through the bushes run up to the hole, and jump in head first!
While they were standing there staring at each other in amazement, an old farmer sauntered up and said, "Say there, you fellers didn't happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you?"
The first hunter said, "Funny you should ask, we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came flying out of the bushes and jumped headlong into this hole!!"
The old farmer said, "Nah, that's impossible, had him chained to an old gear box...."
This is a funny joke - it got a chuckle. Redneck is one of those group-label words. It literally comes from "white poor people in the rural South who drive around all day in pickups and get sunburned necks (or maybe because they work in the fields), and we assume that because of this they are very dumb." People from the South object, and we hear the word less these days. And then of course, I know, there are people who love to call themselves rednecks, not sure they would like to hear me use it. Rather like Irish jokes (and I have heard some some great Irish jokes) or Polish jokes. They're pretty interchangeable. We get into a lot of trouble in our minds by labeling, it's easier to slip into unkind and pre-judge mind. The joke would have been completely just as funny if it was just two guys. Adding the pejorative just taps into our instinctive comfort with creating "the other." And that does get us into trouble.
 

Mythopoeika

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This is a funny joke - it got a chuckle. Redneck is one of those group-label words. It literally comes from "white poor people in the rural South who drive around all day in pickups and get sunburned necks (or maybe because they work in the fields), and we assume that because of this they are very dumb." People from the South object, and we hear the word less these days. And then of course, I know, there are people who love to call themselves rednecks, not sure they would like to hear me use it. Rather like Irish jokes (and I have heard some some great Irish jokes) or Polish jokes. They're pretty interchangeable. We get into a lot of trouble in our minds by labeling, it's easier to slip into unkind and pre-judge mind. The joke would have been completely just as funny if it was just two guys. Adding the pejorative just taps into our instinctive comfort with creating "the other." And that does get us into trouble.
I didn't write that joke, I just copied it. Sorry.
 

Trevp666

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Everywhere makes the same jokes but with a different 'other' as the butt of the Joke.
People in England used to (probably still do) make jokes about the Irish.
I believe the French make jokes about the English (Le Rosbif).
My Brazilian friend told me that all their jokes are about the Portuguese.
And so on.
I expect that there are some we can guess at.
Probably South Koreans make all their jokes about the North.
 

IamSundog

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I guess I could substitute the word 'rednecks' with 'stupid guys with sunburned necks'. Would that be better?
Nah, stick with “rednecks”.
BTW there are plenty of jokes and YouTube videos by and about “rednecks” where they celebrate and make fun of themselves. I don’t think they consider the term an insult per se, unless it’s delivered with contemptuous intent.
 

Lb8535

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Everywhere makes the same jokes but with a different 'other' as the butt of the Joke.
People in England used to (probably still do) make jokes about the Irish.
I believe the French make jokes about the English (Le Rosbif).
My Brazilian friend told me that all their jokes are about the Portuguese.
And so on.
I expect that there are some we can guess at.
Probably South Koreans make all their jokes about the North.
Absolutely. Everyone makes jokes about the other, and they're probably all the same jokes. But if you happen be the other especially if you are not comfortable standing up and pushing back (like it's your boss) it's not a good way to live. We owe our fellow primates better. And it depends on the environment. If you make this joke about new yorkers in the middle of NYC no one feels threatened (and I'm happy to push back with a similar joke about the English). Too many depends, too many ifs, means there's something wrong. I'm more comfortable jut thinking about the words before they exit.
 

Lb8535

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I guess the essential difference with 'rednecks' is that they're a 'personality type' rather than a 'nationality'.
So, not racism.
It's not really always about classic racism - are the Irish jokes about racism? Although I can tell you that all of the "other " jokes you've ever heard have also been told about African-Americans or Asians. It's about deciding to strengthen or push away stereotypes. And the jokes can be funny anyway with different words.
 

Mythopoeika

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It's not really always about classic racism - are the Irish jokes about racism? Although I can tell you that all of the "other " jokes you've ever heard have also been told about African-Americans or Asians. It's about deciding to strengthen or push away stereotypes. And the jokes can be funny anyway with different words.
I did ask if different words could be used...
 

Lb8535

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I guess I could substitute the word 'rednecks' with 'stupid guys with sunburned necks'. Would that be better?
No because that's not funny. Doesn't begin with a "p" (In joke). It works fine as guys - the situation delineates how dumb and impulsive they are. Doesn't need labels.
 

Lb8535

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Nah, stick with “rednecks”.
BTW there are plenty of jokes and YouTube videos by and about “rednecks” where they celebrate and make fun of themselves. I don’t think they consider the term an insult per se, unless it’s delivered with contemptuous intent.
Very true but they do this in an environment in which they are surrounded by people just like them. And I bet they're having bucolic fun not involving goats. There are also quite a bunch of people from the same area who think the whole thing is destructive and you're likely to be communicating with them more than with the guys who are doing god knows what to show they love being a redneck.
 

Lb8535

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I did ask if different words could be used...
Joke is just as funny with "guys". (Guys is unisex where I come from.) Rednecks doesn't make it funnier, any more than "Asians" or "teabags" or "republicans" would make it funnier. If you add the label, the joke becomes on the people you named. If you don't add the label, the joke is the image of the goat being pulled headfirst into the hole and the concept that someone just threw the first thing he saw without thinking - the stupidity, not the labeling of the protagonists.
 

Lb8535

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If you haven't watched The Sunshine Boys (Lemon and Matthau) you really REALLY need to watch it. This is standard theory of comedy. Some things are intrinsically funny - some standup folks think that words beginning with P are funnier. I think goats may be intrinsically funny. Really really watch the movie.
 

Swifty

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Absolutely. Everyone makes jokes about the other, and they're probably all the same jokes. But if you happen be the other especially if you are not comfortable standing up and pushing back (like it's your boss) it's not a good way to live. We owe our fellow primates better. And it depends on the environment. If you make this joke about new yorkers in the middle of NYC no one feels threatened (and I'm happy to push back with a similar joke about the English). Too many depends, too many ifs, means there's something wrong. I'm more comfortable jut thinking about the words before they exit.
I've not been lucky enough yet to hear any jokes about the English, I won't be at all offended if you want to tell me some :) (via private message if that makes you feel more comfortable) .. the only US to UK good slap down was when we used to say "The Americans are over sexed, over paid and over here!" during WW2 .. some American wit retorted with "The English are under sexed, under paid and under Einsenhower" ..
 

Mythopoeika

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If you haven't watched The Sunshine Boys (Lemon and Matthau) you really REALLY need to watch it. This is standard theory of comedy. Some things are intrinsically funny - some standup folks think that words beginning with P are funnier. I think goats may be intrinsically funny. Really really watch the movie.
I used to like Lemmon and Matthau back in the day. I'll give it a look.
Goats are intrinsically funny.
 

Lb8535

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I've not been lucky enough yet to hear any jokes about the English, I won't be at all offended if you want to tell me some :) (via private message if that makes you feel more comfortable) .. the only US to UK good slap down was when we used to say "The Americans are over sexed, over paid and over here!" during WW2 .. some American wit retorted with "The English are under sexed, under paid and under Einsenhower" ..
Use this one - two hunters from Cromer... or "Yorkshire..." The jokes are all the same, we just change out the labels.
 
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