Humour & Jokes

Do you have a GSOH?

  • Yes

    Votes: 44 48.9%
  • Sometimes

    Votes: 14 15.6%
  • No

    Votes: 11 12.2%
  • What's a GSOH?

    Votes: 21 23.3%

  • Total voters
    90

Coypu

Um 121 The element of confusion.....298.17
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You mustn't call them "stupid". They are educationally disadvantaged (or special needs, at a pinch).
Is it just me or has the word "special" become some sort of punctuation, I have rarely seen it qualified.
Another word in over use is "quality" .. quality what sort and in comparison to what. more spin filling rubbish...:puke2::puke2:
 

cycleboy2

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Is it just me or has the word "special" become some sort of punctuation, I have rarely seen it qualified.
Another word in over use is "quality" .. quality what sort and in comparison to what. more spin filling rubbish...:puke2::puke2:
Years ago I stayed in the 'Quality Hotel' somewhere in the Midlands – they'd clearly left the word 'low' out of the name; it was dire.

And on a vaguely related-ish note, I like the Australian use of the words average and ordinary, usually to mean something well below average or ordinary, such as when the Australian cricketers were banned for cheating, their actions being described as 'average'.
 

blessmycottonsocks

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Is it just me or has the word "special" become some sort of punctuation, I have rarely seen it qualified.
Another word in over use is "quality" .. quality what sort and in comparison to what. more spin filling rubbish...:puke2::puke2:
Many years ago, when I was working on an IT contract for the RAF, it caused no end of amusement that bombs carried by Tornado and Typhoon fighter-bombers could be either "smart" or "retarded". The latter were cheekily referred to sometimes as "special needs bombs".
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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What's the difference between a chick pea and a potato?
Nobody would pay to have a potato on them!
.....................

How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change it, and the other to hold the penis.
.
LADDER...... I MEANT LADDER!
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I've accidentally swallowed a set of 'scrabble' letter tiles. The next time I take a dump it could spell disaster.
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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Seeing as it is Sunday again, here is a collection of funnies.

Here's to alcohol: Giving us some of the best times we'll never remember
.......................

I've been in the staff toilet and replaced the air freshener spray with an air horn.
......................

I met a woman that had a 'taser' - she was stunning
.......................

Some bloke just threw a load of milk, cream, butter and cheese at me. How dairy!
.......................

So the wife went absolutely crazy at me because I didn't open the car door for her mother.
Well sorry, but i was just panicking and swimming for the surface!
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I had a terrible dream in which i was swimming in an endless ocean of fizzy orange drink. Then I realised it was just a big Fanta sea.
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I still remember my uncle's last words before he kicked the bucket.
"Hey, let's see how far i can kick this bucket "
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They've opened a big new shop in town called "moderation" - they've got everything in there!
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The other day, i met the bloke who invented Polo's. He told me that he made a mint.
......................

Women only call me ugly until they find out how rich I am.
Then they call me ugly and poor.
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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Two very old friends met by chance on the street.
After chatting for some time, one said to the other, "I'm terribly sorry, but I've forgotten your name. You'll need to tell me."
The other stared at him thoughtfully for a long time, then replied, "How soon do you need to know?"
___________________

One day while jogging, a man noticed two tennis balls lying by the side of the road.
He picked the balls up, put them in his pocket and proceeded on his way.
When he reached a crossing and was waiting for the lights to change, he noticed a beautiful blonde standing next to him and smiling.
"What are those big bulges in your running shorts?" she asked.
"Tennis balls," answered the man, smiling back.
"Wow," said the blonde, looking upset. "That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was unbearable."
__________________

A man met a wonderful woman and became engaged to her.
He called his mother to share his good news with her.
He arranged to have dinner with his mother that evening so that she could meet his fiancee.
When he arrived at her home, he brought along three women - a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.
His mother inquired as to why he had brought three women, instead of just one.
He replied that he wanted to see if his mother would be able to guess which one of the women was her future daughter-in-law.
She looked at each one carefully and then replied: "It's the redhead."
"How could you possibly have figured that out so quickly?" he inquired.
She coldly replied, "Because I can't stand her."
__________________
 
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