Humour & Jokes

Do you have a GSOH?

  • Yes

    Votes: 52 52.5%
  • Sometimes

    Votes: 14 14.1%
  • No

    Votes: 12 12.1%
  • What's a GSOH?

    Votes: 21 21.2%

  • Total voters
    99

kamalktk

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_____________

I just read a list of "The 100 Things To Do Before You Die". I was pretty surprised that "Yell for help" wasn't one of them.
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Reminds me of the "He died doing what he loved" obituaries.

So he loved freefalling 200 meters off sheer cliff?
He loved getting gored by a bull?
Drowning in a scuba failure?
Being mangled by Bigfoot?
 

kamalktk

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As a responsible employer, all of my employees are in a two-week quarantine.

Productivity is through the roof since no one can leave the office.
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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The doctor has given me a prescription for a drug that will stop my insomnia - i just have to take one at bedtime then another one every 45 minutes.....
 

gordonrutter

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I have a joke about precognition but you probably know the ending.

I have a joke about telepathy but I sense you've heard it before.

I have a joke about telekinesis, raise my hand if you've heard it before.
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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Why aren't nuclear bunkers just made out of dolls heads?
That's the only recognisable thing you ever see on the floor in a film after a nuclear bomb has gone off.
 

Mythopoeika

I am a meat popsicle
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The best safeword you can use is “meatloaf”.

It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…
I found a piccy to go with that:
 

Trevp666

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My last girlfriend decided not to invite me over to her parents house for Sunday lunches any more as I was always trying to steer the conversation towards seafood subjects, like prawns, crabs, winkles and cockles.
But I thought she was just being really shellfish.
 

Trevp666

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There was a fire at the main Inland Revenue offices today but it was put out before any serious good was done!
 

Trevp666

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Gary Larson - Farside
farside daffy.png
 

gordonrutter

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There was a fire at the main Inland Revenue offices today but it was put out before any serious good was done!
Not humour coming - my father was of an age when he should have done national service but he didn’t. My mother always told me it was for health reasons. Researching family history took me up various alleyways and I found that for one year the birth records were destroyed in a mysterious fire, this meant the government did not have the standard records they used to call people up. So for him some good was done in that fire!
 

Mythopoeika

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Not humour coming - my father was of an age when he should have done national service but he didn’t. My mother always told me it was for health reasons. Researching family history took me up various alleyways and I found that for one year the birth records were destroyed in a mysterious fire, this meant the government did not have the standard records they used to call people up. So for him some good was done in that fire!
Was your Dad born in 1928?
The same thing happened to my Dad. The local records repository, which was in a big hut (in a small town in South Wales), burned down in a mysterious fire. My Dad always wondered why he was never called up for national service after the war and he only found out about it on a visit to his home town back in the 1980s. He bumped into an old school friend who had also never been called up - he told my Dad about the records repository burning down.
 

gordonrutter

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Was your Dad born in 1928?
The same thing happened to my Dad. The local records repository, which was in a big hut (in a small town in South Wales), burned down in a mysterious fire. My Dad always wondered why he was never called up for national service after the war and he only found out about it on a visit to his home town back in the 1980s. He bumped into an old school friend who had also never been called up - he told my Dad about the records repository burning down.
Yes but nowhere near South Wales. Just had a quick look to see if I can find anything about it and I can't. I obviously did at one point!
 
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