Humour & Jokes

Do you have a GSOH?

  • Yes

    Votes: 52 52.5%
  • Sometimes

    Votes: 14 14.1%
  • No

    Votes: 12 12.1%
  • What's a GSOH?

    Votes: 21 21.2%

  • Total voters
    99

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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An essex girl was at home watching TV with her friends when she heard a noise. She ran out just in time to see a thief drive off in her car.
"Did you see their face?" her friends asked when she came back inside.
"No, but it's okay, I got the number plate details!"
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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Stewart Francis;
I'm hoping to buy a telescope. Watch this space.
 

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
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An essex girl was at home watching TV with her friends when she heard a noise. She ran out just in time to see a thief drive off in her car.
"Did you see their face?" her friends asked when she came back inside.
"No, but it's okay, I got the number plate details!"
.. like when someone said to me "Is this your pen?" .. I said "I don't know let's have a look?, I'll use it ……. yes!, it's my pen. It's the same handwriiting."
 

Bigphoot2

Not sprouts! I hate sprouts.
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A lorry carrying thousands of Thesauruses shed its load on the M25 motorway this afternoon...

Witnesses were said to be stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, confused, shocked, dazed, bewildered, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, confounded, amazed, perplexed and speechless.
 
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Lord Lucan

Justified & Ancient
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Just saw this on Reddit and chuckled, so naturally, I nicked it.

Karen came into my restaurant the other day and asked, "Can you tell me about the menu please?"

So I kicked her out and told her that the men I please are none of her business!
 

Yithian

Parish Watch
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I've been listening to a lot of Brian Ferry recently and came across this succinct but deflationary summation of his 2010 Olympia album:

...Ferry could do a record with the Star Wars cantina band and it would come out pretty much the same: a bunch of lush, languorous Euro-glam ballads about love's labour's lost, all of them slathered in a sexy-vampire croon that makes lines about being "faithfully entwined in a shameless world" seem like some deep shit.

Rolling Stone 3.5/5. The other first half of the review here:
https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-album-reviews/olympia-114553/

Perhaps it's just me, but that really made me laugh.
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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Ferry's version of "A hard rain's a gonna fall" is excellent.
Here you go;
 
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