Humour & Jokes

Do you have a GSOH?

  • Yes

    Votes: 57 50.4%
  • Sometimes

    Votes: 16 14.2%
  • No

    Votes: 12 10.6%
  • What's a GSOH?

    Votes: 28 24.8%

  • Total voters
    113

Nosmo King

I'm not a cat
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Just going through some things in my tool lockers and saq this box of screws, im assuming they are not big sellers in Ireland :hahazebs:

20210325_112436.png
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
Joined
May 29, 2009
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Location
Welwyn Garden City (but oddly, not an actual city)
(more Viz Top Tips)

REDUCE wear and tear on your work clothes by 20% by simply staying in bed on Mondays and not going to work.
__________

CAR tyres painted white and wrapped together in dozens with a green tarpaulin sheet make ideal packets of Polo for short sighted giants.
__________

ALWAYS keep tubes of haemorrhoid ointment and Deep Heat rub well separated in your bathroom cabinet.
__________

STOP bread from drying out by keeping it in a bucket of water.
__________

DISCOURAGE burglars by wearing a policeman's uniform and standing outside your house day and night.
 

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
Joined
Sep 15, 2013
Messages
32,234
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(more Viz Top Tips)

REDUCE wear and tear on your work clothes by 20% by simply staying in bed on Mondays and not going to work.
__________

CAR tyres painted white and wrapped together in dozens with a green tarpaulin sheet make ideal packets of Polo for short sighted giants.
__________

ALWAYS keep tubes of haemorrhoid ointment and Deep Heat rub well separated in your bathroom cabinet.
__________

STOP bread from drying out by keeping it in a bucket of water.
__________

DISCOURAGE burglars by wearing a policeman's uniform and standing outside your house day and night.
My favourite ever all time Viz top tip:

Convince your neighbours you aren't home by switching all of your lights off and scurrying about on all fours.
 

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
Joined
Sep 15, 2013
Messages
32,234
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52,401
Points
289
I once killed a man just to see the look on his face, but i got distracted and missed it.

(Cant remember who told this joke but it made me laugh, but my sense of humour is pretty f*cked up)
A Johnny Cash reference ? .. "But I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die." .. maybe?
 

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
Joined
Sep 15, 2013
Messages
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Points
289
That should be a dumping offence if a man wears that!!
That would absolutely pong after about an hour .. it's not that hard to tuck a shirt in? (although I'm lucky in that I live and work in loose over the trousers T Shirts at the moment)
 
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