Humour & Jokes

Do you have a GSOH?

  • Yes

    Votes: 56 50.5%
  • Sometimes

    Votes: 16 14.4%
  • No

    Votes: 12 10.8%
  • What's a GSOH?

    Votes: 27 24.3%

  • Total voters
    111

Bigphoot2

Not sprouts! I hate sprouts.
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161668010_10225352134734869_4723710334992173477_n.jpg
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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(sorry if you've heard it before)

A man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at a fast-food restaurant.
He noticed that they had ordered just one meal, and as he watched, the older gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries until each had half of them. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.
The young man decided to ask if they would let him buy another meal for them so that they didn’t have to split theirs.
The old gentleman said, “Oh, no.
We’ve been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared 50-50.”
The young man asked the wife if she was going to eat, to which she replied,
“Not yet. It’s his turn to use our teeth.”
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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I was going to put this into the 'Census 2021' thread, but I think it fits better here.

Census to be redone after leaving out question on what you call a bread roll.
“....Perhaps the compilers were anxious to avoid another violent uprising over the order in which the options were listed, as happened in the muffin riots of 2011...."

https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news...-on-what-you-call-a-bread-roll-20210324206465
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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(Viz Top Tips)

SKATEBOARDERS. Next time you come to a set of steps with a handrail in the middle, pick up your skateboard in one hand, grasp the handrail with the other and carefully walk down the steps. This way it won't be quite as painful on your bollocks
___________

BUY onions instead of apples. They are just as crunchy and always much cheaper.
___________

ASTHMATICS. Avoid going on holiday to places where the scenery is described as 'breathtaking'.
___________

GAMBLERS. For a new gambling opportunity try sending a £50 note to yourself, inside a birthday card, by Royal Mail.
 
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