Humour & Jokes

Do you have a GSOH?

  • Yes

    Votes: 55 50.9%
  • Sometimes

    Votes: 15 13.9%
  • No

    Votes: 12 11.1%
  • What's a GSOH?

    Votes: 26 24.1%

  • Total voters
    108

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
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Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better if every fifth caller was a winner.
The world would do so much better if I could just buy a pint of milk without waiting behind retired people who use my local shop as a bookies with their scratch card requests .. if only we could create a new 'indifference to other people just trying to get to work' tax .....
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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Those retired people probably moan that there are too many people buying pints of milk, lol.
 
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Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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Another batch of 'Viz Top Tips'.

DRIVERS - Overcome boredom on long motorway journeys by closing your eyes for as long as you dare. Then dare yourself to close them for longer.

SILENCE your windy bottom by pulling apart your buttocks before you pump. Hey Presto! No embarrassing 'fart noise'. (P Fletcher, Wrexham)

HGV DRIVERS - When driving up hills on motorways, the 'Crawler Lane' marked on the far left of the carriageway is the best lane to be in. Not three abreast going at 43mph.

MAKERS of disposable razors - Save money by putting the blade that shaves the closest at the front and dispensing with the others.

AVOID soiling your trousers by not pulling apart your buttocks when you think you are about to fart. (P Fletcher, Wrexham)

DON'T pay for expensive 'jigsaws'. Simply buy a bag of frozen chips then try to piece them back together as whole potatoes.

BEE keepers. Keep your hives in strawberry fields to get jam instead of honey.
 

Bigphoot2

Not sprouts! I hate sprouts.
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Sm.jpg
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
Joined
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So this guy is totally naked but wrapped in cling-film and he goes to see his psychiatrist.

The psychiatrist says "I can clearly see your nuts".
 

Tigerhawk

Dazed and confused...
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The world would do so much better if I could just buy a pint of milk without waiting behind retired people who use my local shop as a bookies with their scratch card requests .. if only we could create a new 'indifference to other people just trying to get to work' tax .....
Those retired people probably moan that there are too many people buying pints of milk, lol.
Swifty likes his milk...
istockphoto-1190837594-612x612.jpg
 

feinman

Account Retired
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Ask the cows .. I just make sandwiches instead bruv.
I've eaten my share of the veggie with chicken, bacon and pepperoncini added in the past -it was very good. I used to work at a sandwich shop in Eugene and at lunch we would make incredibly good pastrami sandwiches. Worked at a pizza shop for a few years and we used to make large staff calzones in the oven that were delicious. I miss the cornmeal burns from the three-tier ovens in a room with no air conditioning. Top notch wrist burns! Fun.
 
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