Humour & Jokes

Do you have a GSOH?

  • Yes

    Votes: 54 50.5%
  • Sometimes

    Votes: 15 14.0%
  • No

    Votes: 12 11.2%
  • What's a GSOH?

    Votes: 26 24.3%

  • Total voters
    107

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
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Always remember everyone :) ..

atouching001.jpg
 

Souleater

I'm not a cat
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I broke my little toe walking out of the lounge of an old shared house in which i was living, after catching it on the stupid valancy thing they put around the bottom of old sofas, it made an audiable snap that the other 3 people in the room heard over the sound of the tv :oops:
 
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Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
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Another reason why the 70's was a better time .. we worried about standing on Lego bricks instead! .. but there was more creepy teachers about so I might have to re think this post ..
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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The last time I had a vaccination for something, some years ago, my man-sausage swelled up and got really painful.
So I went back to the doctors and he asked "What do you want me to do for you?"
And I said "Can you give me something to get rid of the pain, but leave the swelling?".
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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(old jokes)

The doctor is stood next to the bedside of a very sick patient and says, “I cannot hide the fact that your are a very ill man. So ill, that in my opinion, you are unlikely to make it through the week. Is there anyone you would like to see?”.
“Yes,” replied the patient faintly, “A different doctor”.
_________

A preacher goes into a bar and says "Anybody who wants to go to heaven, stand up."
Everybody stands up except for a drunk in the corner.
The preacher says "My son, don't you want to go to heaven when you die?"
The drunk says "When I die? Sure. I thought you were taking a load up now."
_________

A man is sitting in a bar when a beautiful woman walks up and whispers in his ear, “I'll do anything you want for 50 bucks.”
He puts his drink down and starts going through his pockets.
He pulls out a ten, two five's, a twenty and ten ones.
He thrusts the wadded up money into the woman's hand and says, "Here...paint my house.”
_________

(Viz Top Tips)
IF YOU WANT your mother-in-law never to come back to your house, buy her a razor for Christmas.
KEEP your wife on her toes. Nail the housekeeping money to the ceiling.
AVOID bickering and petty arguments by immediately punching anyone with whom you disagree.
MAKE rowing a boat easier by drilling a few large holes through the oars.
 
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