Humour & Jokes

Do you have a GSOH?

  • Yes

    Votes: 54 50.5%
  • Sometimes

    Votes: 15 14.0%
  • No

    Votes: 12 11.2%
  • What's a GSOH?

    Votes: 26 24.3%

  • Total voters
    107

Kondoru

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The fear is real. In fact there are websites devoted to the utterings of patients sedated for minor procedures, notably colonoscopies.
If I had one I'd prepare by concentrating on something unembarrassing like the Brick Library at the local builder's merchant.
When I had mine I was unsedated but on painkillers, so I was well aware of what was going on.

It tickled no end

and...

"Whats that?"
"looks like a mustard seed to me. Do you eat whole grain mustard?"
"Oh...Yes, I do."
 

sherbetbizarre

Special Branch
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facebook_1621161629704_6799644708118308828.jpg
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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Coastaljames

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In fact there are websites devoted to the utterings of patients sedated for minor procedures, notably colonoscopies.

You will be delighted to know that I had a colonoscopy once. The drug they use is wonderful! The procedure might have been the most horrible, painful experience in the world - but it doesn't matter, because you won't remember it. Even though you are awake all the way through. As the power of the drug eased, I do remember happily chilling...watching the screen with the 3 practitioners in the room. Footage from my stomach and intestines. However, I didn't think it was this. I had no idea what it was...and politely watched to show interest because they all seemed terribly interested!
 

cycleboy2

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You will be delighted to know that I had a colonoscopy once. The drug they use is wonderful! The procedure might have been the most horrible, painful experience in the world - but it doesn't matter, because you won't remember it. Even though you are awake all the way through. As the power of the drug eased, I do remember happily chilling...watching the screen with the 3 practitioners in the room. Footage from my stomach and intestines. However, I didn't think it was this. I had no idea what it was...and politely watched to show interest because they all seemed terribly interested!
I found my colonoscopy - even with the gas and air I was given - one of the worst experiences of my adult life. I'll have another one in a few years and I'm not looking forward to it. Maybe I'll ask for a general anaesthetic first!!
 

Dinobot

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Broadcasting from the moon...
I found my colonoscopy - even with the gas and air I was given - one of the worst experiences of my adult life. I'll have another one in a few years and I'm not looking forward to it. Maybe I'll ask for a general anaesthetic first!!
After what they found, I'm not surprised...

4eb9aa4829ac2e35e5acf5e0c824e756d95eec3f_hq.jpg
 

Bigphoot2

Not sprouts! I hate sprouts.
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You will be delighted to know that I had a colonoscopy once. The drug they use is wonderful! The procedure might have been the most horrible, painful experience in the world - but it doesn't matter, because you won't remember it. Even though you are awake all the way through. As the power of the drug eased, I do remember happily chilling...watching the screen with the 3 practitioners in the room. Footage from my stomach and intestines. However, I didn't think it was this. I had no idea what it was...and politely watched to show interest because they all seemed terribly interested!
You think it was a colonoscopy but it's a screen memory. Those Greys are cunning little devils.
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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Mother: What did you learn in school today
Son: How to write.
Mother: What did you write?
Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!
__________

A woman walks into a pet store wanting to buy a pet for her husband, but she finds all the pets are so so expensive.
The woman says to the clerk at the counter, "I'm looking to buy a pet for my husband but I'm on a very short budget!."
"No worries," replies the clerk. "We've just ordered in a very large bullfrog that can give bl*wjobs."
"Bl*wjobs," says the woman, buying the frog, thinking it would be a great gag gift, so she goes home and gives the frog to her husband explaining the frogs talent.
With a laugh the husband walks off leaving the frog in the kitchen.
In the middle of the night the woman wakes up to the sound of pots and pans flying around in the kitchen.
She goes down to find her husband and the frog reading cookbooks.
"What are you two doing?" she asks.
"Well," says the husband. "If I can teach this frog to cook, you are outta here."
__________

Two statues, male and female, faced each other in the city park for many years.
An angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire."
The statues came to life and smiled at each other.
They ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes.
The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping.
After 15 minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling.
Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues,
"You still have 15 minutes. Would you like to continue?"
The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?"
Giggling, the female statue said, "Sure, but this time, you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on its head!"
 

Coastaljames

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I found my colonoscopy - even with the gas and air I was given - one of the worst experiences of my adult life.

Sorry to hear that.

Maybe I had a particularly gentle, loving and tender pracitioner ;)
 
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