Humour & Jokes

Do you have a GSOH?

  • Yes

    Votes: 55 50.0%
  • Sometimes

    Votes: 16 14.5%
  • No

    Votes: 12 10.9%
  • What's a GSOH?

    Votes: 27 24.5%

  • Total voters
    110

michael59

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This guy is one of my favorite comedians. He is so original and politically incorrect in a world where everything is taboo to the point of people losing their careers. Here he is talking about the good old days. lol

His routine starts at 1:25

 

Ogdred Weary

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jar qui.jpg
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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Women always call me ugly until they find out how much money I've got.
Then they call me ugly and poor.
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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(a return visit to the old jokes home)

I've been taking Viagra for my sunburn.
It doesn't cure it but it keeps the bed sheets off my legs at night.
__________

A woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic.
He asks "What for?"
She says, "I want to kill my husband."
He says "Sorry, I can't do that."
She then reaches into her handbag a pulls out a photo of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife and hands it to him.
He says, "Hey....You didn't tell me you had a prescription..."
__________

The teacher is droning away in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row.
The teacher shouts to the sleeping student's neighbour, "Hey wake that student up!"
The neighbour yells back, "You put him to sleep, you wake him up!"
__________

Cecil Bradstone, the inventor of the 'hokey-cokey' who died last week had his funeral today.
The burial took ages as they started by putting his left leg in.......
 

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
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One day I might grow up .. but not today

 

Swifty

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Yep .. and she/he always comes to my store at the most inconvenient time possible (3:50pm or similar) .. and they almost always ask for a receipt, stand outside the front door for about 20 seconds then come back in to question how much they've been charged and (not boasting) I'm always right. As if they can claim in on business expense or something?. And they're pale as fuck. And they have a problem with eye contact and sensible customer service interaction in general. And anything else standard. Can't stand 'em because they seem to have a hard on for being deliberately difficult. They just live to be awkward. It's how they flow.
 
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michael59

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Yep .. and she/he always comes to my store at the most inconvenient time possible (3:50pm or similar) .. and they almost always ask for a receipt, stand outside the front door for about 20 seconds then come back in to question how much they've been charged and (not boasting) I'm always right. As if they can claim in on business expense or something?. And they're pale as fuck. And they have a problem with eye contact and sensible customer service interaction in general. And anything else standard. Can't stand 'em because they seem to have a hard on for being deliberately difficult. They just live to be awkward. It's how they flow.

Do they look similar to this?

31fyjarhNJL._SL500_.jpg


lol
 

michael59

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There's this weirdo on the youtube who posted a clip of his cockatoo having sex with one of it's stuffed toys.

I left a reply that said something like, "Get a life and stop spying on the bird."

His response was, "Calm down, "Karen".

Hahaha
 

Ogdred Weary

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Do ya think that maybe those medieval texts were written in an ink that contained a mild hallucinogen?

Some illustrations were likely weird for the illustrator's own amusement, others might be satirical and we may not be able to decode the references hundreds of years later.

And some monks were high from self flagellation.
 
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Tigerhawk

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Another idea is that snails represent resurrection/eternal life because they keep coming back.
Hang on, which Time Lord are you?
Some illustrations were likely weird for the illustrator's own amusement, others might be satirical and we not be able to decode the references hundreds of years later.

And some monks were high from self flagellation.
Is that what you call it?:reyes:
 

Naughty_Felid

kneesy earsy nosey
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Yep .. and she/he always comes to my store at the most inconvenient time possible (3:50pm or similar) .. and they almost always ask for a receipt, stand outside the front door for about 20 seconds then come back in to question how much they've been charged and (not boasting) I'm always right. As if they can claim in on business expense or something?. And they're pale as fuck. And they have a problem with eye contact and sensible customer service interaction in general. And anything else standard. Can't stand 'em because they seem to have a hard on for being deliberately difficult. They just live to be awkward. It's how they flow.

Maybe don't work with the public anymore?
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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