Humour & Jokes

Do you have a GSOH?

  • Yes

    Votes: 55 50.9%
  • Sometimes

    Votes: 15 13.9%
  • No

    Votes: 12 11.1%
  • What's a GSOH?

    Votes: 26 24.1%

  • Total voters
    108

Dinobot

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Broadcasting from the moon...
Thank God for t.v, for without it there would not be headlines like this. I suppose we should also thank diarrhea.

View attachment 40746
Slip 'n Slide, indeed!:rofl:


61b9Wg+jQmL._AC_SX522_.jpg
 

kamalktk

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Slip 'n Slide, indeed!:rofl:


View attachment 40747
On another forum I was a member of before the site closed, a member did run away to join the circus. He was an accountant, circus needed those too. They circus had it's own train to get from city to city, so everyone lived on the train.
 
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blessmycottonsocks

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Don't get it.
Trollface A makes $10 profit, but Trollface B is $30 down (but the real winner is Carlos Ramirez, who has made over $100,000 from copyright infringement and licencing of his Trollface meme, so hope the producer of the cartoon asked for permission!).
 
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Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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(another trip to the old jokes home)

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? – One. They are efficient and don’t have a sense of humour.
_________

A man walks into a hardware shop.
He says: "I want some nails."
The shop worker says: "How long do you want them?"
The man says: "I want to keep them."
_________

My wife said to me: "If you won the lottery, would you still love me?"
I said: "Of course I would. I'd miss you, but I'd still love you."
_________

My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles’ elbow.
_________

I can count the number of times I’ve been to Chernobyl on one hand. – It’s seven.
_________

“I’m sorry,” the doctor says, “you have a rare and very contagious disease.
We must quarantine you and you’ll only be fed processed cheese slices .”
“Will that cure me?” the patient asks.
“Well, no,” the doctor replies, “but it’s the only food that will fit under the door.”
_________

What do you call a dog with no legs?
Anything you like, he's not coming.
_________

Why can’t humans hear a dog whistle?
Because dogs can’t whistle.
 

uair01

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blessmycottonsocks

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B is only $10 down, not $30. It's a zero sum transaction. B has effectively bought A's $20 for $30.
Sorry, you're right. My maths bad!

Still doesn't work as a magic money generator though, as both parties' outlay equates to zero.
 

ChasFink

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Some would argue that all economics is a zero sum game.

The joke here is that one of the characters has made a net $10 profit, but the other has been fooled into thinking he has made a profit as well, because he bought a box with $40 in it for $30. His previous actions (putting money into the box) are not considered part of the transaction, but we all see that it is a part of the reason that the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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This flash-mob isn't what I expected, everyone else is singing and dancing, and I'm the only one with my knob out.
Naughty naughty stealing Gary Delaney jokes!
 

blessmycottonsocks

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saw my dwarf neighbour standing at the bus stop this morning.​

I said, "Jump in and I'll give you a lift!"
"Fuck off!" he said.
I thought to myself, "What an ungrateful person he is."
So I zipped up my backpack and kept on walking.

Times are hard for dwarfs.
One I know struggles to put food on the table...
 
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