A 84 year old Rabbi goes into a catholic church one Monday, and goes into a confessional box.
Once in there he tells Father O'Flynn "Oh Father O'Flynn, I have had a weekend of unbridled passion with an 18 year old model. We did it in the bedroom, we did it in the kitchen, we did it on the coffee table in the lounge, we did it in the garden....we were up all night doing it!"
Father O'Flynn leant up against the window and said "Rabbi Goldstein, you do realise this is a catholic church confessional box don't you?
Why are you in here telling me all this?"
"Hey...." replied the Rabbi, "I'm telling EVERYONE!!!"
A dog walks into a pub, and takes a seat.
He says to the barman, "Can I have a pint of lager and a packet of crisps please".
The barman says, "Wow, that's amazing! You should join the circus!"
The dog replies, "Why? Do they need electricians?"