Humour & Jokes

Do you have a GSOH?

  • Yes

    Votes: 57 50.4%
  • Sometimes

    Votes: 16 14.2%
  • No

    Votes: 12 10.6%
  • What's a GSOH?

    Votes: 28 24.8%

  • Total voters
    113

Tunn11

Devoted Cultist
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Thanks ChasFink: :hoff: Mahatma Kane Jeeeves , much better than Mahatma Coat which was probably some later comic I'm remembering. Field's character names were rather, er, inventive as well; Elmer Prettywillie and Larson E. Whipsnade to name two.
 

Bigphoot2

Not sprouts! I hate sprouts.
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After Finding Bigfoot it's only fair that Mountain Monsters should get the same treatment. It's the first time the progamme has ever made any sense :)
 

sherbetbizarre

Special Branch
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Screenshot_20211118-152221.png
 

titch

Justified & Ancient
Joined
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I have just failed my final exam to qualify as an archeologist, I couldn't tell what period a tampon was from.
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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Could you put some cream on mine please?
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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A guy orders spaghetti in a restaurant.
In the middle of eating he finds a hair in his food.
He says to the waiter, "I'm not paying for this dirty meal, it has a hair in it!" and walks out.
The waiter watches the guy go across the road and into a whorehouse.
The waiter waits about 10 minutes, goes over to the whorehouse and finds the guy with his face buried in pussy.
The waiter says, "You eat pussy and yet you complain about one hair in your spaghetti!"
The man replies, "Yeah, and if I find any spaghetti in this pussy, I'm not paying for this either."
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
Joined
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Location
Welwyn Garden City (but oddly, not an actual city)
A man walks into a bar and orders a 12-year-old scotch.
The bartender, believing that the customer will not be able to tell the difference, pours him a shot of the cheap 3-year-old house scotch that has been poured into an empty bottle of the good stuff.
The man takes a sip and spits the scotch out on the bar and reams the bartender. “This is the cheapest 3-year-old scotch you can buy. I’m not paying for it. Now, give me a good 12-year-old scotch.”
The bartender, now feeling a bit of a challenge, pours him a scotch of much better quality, 6-year-old scotch.
The man takes a sip and spits it out on the bar. “This is only 6-year-old scotch. I won’t pay for this, and I insist on a good, 12-year-old scotch.
The bartender finally relents and serves the man his best quality, 12-year-old scotch.
The man sips the drink and says, “Now that’s more like it.”
An old drunk from the end of the bar, who has witnessed the entire episode, walks down to the finicky scotch drinker and sets a glass down in front of him and asks, “What do you think of this?”
The scotch expert takes a sip, and in disgust, violently spits out the liquid yelling “THIS TASTES LIKE PISS.”
To which the old drunk replies, “That’s right......... but how old am I?”
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
Joined
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Location
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Two strangers meet on a golf course and decide to play together.
One man says, "I'm a salesman. What about you?"
"I'm a hit man for the mob," replies the second man.
He pulls out a high powered rifle loaded with scopes and sights.
He then asks the man where he lives.
Nervously, the first man replies, "I've got a nice house just west of here. Red roof, white walls."
"You got a silver hatchback and a red pickup?"
"The hatchback is my wife's car, but my pal Jeff has a red pickup."
The hit man looks through the scope again. "Well, they're going at it like teenagers in your bedroom."
"I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot him in the balls."
The hit man says, "Hey...I get paid £5,000 per shot!"
"I don't care! Just do it!"
The hit man takes careful aim and says, "Well whaddya know....This is your lucky day!
You're going to get a two for one!"
 
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