If God Does Miracles, What Does Satan Do?

[Floyd]

You know the plastic wrap on cucumbers that takes half an hour to undo and loo roll ends stuck down with a litre of glue............

 

[Mikefule]

While God is so busy helping boxers to win title fights that he has no time to save kids from dying of malaria, the devil is chiefly responsible for all the good music. He takes his work seriously and has even been found on duty as late as midnight giving one to one guitar and fiddle lessons at the crossroads.

 

[Mythopoeika]

While God is so busy helping boxers to win title fights that he has no time to save kids from dying of malaria, the devil is chiefly responsible for all the good music. He takes his work seriously and has even been found on duty as late as midnight giving one to one guitar and fiddle lessons at the crossroads.

Also, he never did forgive Tenacious D for beating him.

 

[charliebrown]

For me, it comes down to a simple unanswerable question.

Why does bad things happen to good people ?

Is there a god or a satan, or nothing ?

 

[Herr Cloaca]

Satan does God’s dirty work

Correct.

Bible says God created everything, and everything He created was good. Therefore, God created the Devil, and the Devil was good. The Devil now does the punishing on behalf of God. He's a subcontractor.

 

[JaneD]

For me, it comes down to a simple unanswerable question.

Why does bad things happen to good people ?

Is there a god or a satan, or nothing ?

Stick with nothing. At least it stops all the complicated stuff about god’s foreknowledge/man’s free will from turning your brain into porridge.

 

[Bad Bungle]

When my mum was in ICU with tubes down her throat I didn't pray for a miracle, I did a deal in my head.
Later I read that Angels don't do deals.

 

[Marwood]

You can't take me anywhere

While God is so busy helping boxers to win title fights that he has no time to save kids from dying of malaria, the devil is chiefly responsible for all the good music. He takes his work seriously and has even been found on duty as late as midnight giving one to one guitar and fiddle lessons at the crossroads.

Doesn't give bass guitar lessons apparently, I've stood at many a crossroad late at night with me four string bass...not a dickybat

 

[gojiramonkey]

Doesn't give bass guitar lessons apparently, I've stood at many a crossroad late at night with me four string bass...not a dickybat

Do you think Danny could possibly be The Devil.... I've heard Satan doesn't have shoes.....?

 

[Marwood]

Do you think Danny could possibly be The Devil.... I've heard Satan doesn't have shoes.....?

There's a painting in my parents' local church of Jesus barefoot and I've heard St Peter preached the apistles to the apostles barefoot too!
Danny the devil? Surely not

 

[gojiramonkey]

There's a painting in my parents' local church of Jesus barefoot and I've heard St Peter preached the apistles to the apostles barefoot too!
Danny the devil? Surely not

Yea I guess..... He is a rogue but essentially a good egg

 

[Marwood]

Yea I guess..... He is a rogue but essentially a good egg

It was strange seeing Danny (Ralph Brown) in the Phantom Menace...and he wasn't on the dark side either!

 

[gojiramonkey]

Which Montalbano- young or older?

Sheesh..... Apologies....only took nearly two frakking years to respond.... The older montalbano wins out but I love both series....

 

[What Tyler]

Satan allows us to see who we really are as a species- unlike the other Fella who seems to take a great delight in punishing us for being made in “His Image”...

 

[escargot]

While God is so busy helping boxers to win title fights that he has no time to save kids from dying of malaria, the devil is chiefly responsible for all the good music. He takes his work seriously and has even been found on duty as late as midnight giving one to one guitar and fiddle lessons at the crossroads.

He is indeed a mean fiddler, as explained by the Muppets.

(Subtitles are hilarious. )

A Satanist/general occult/hokey believer of my former acquaintance poo-poo'd this song on the basis that, as mentioned in the lyrics, the Devil deals the cards. He controls the odds and won't make a bet he can lose.

 

[catseye]

I have become so tired of reviews of my books which begin 'As a Christian...' and then go on to complain about bad language (or, as they call it, 'cussing') and sex - I should, before you all get over excited, point out that I don't write graphic sex scenes, sex is simply alluded to in my books) that I am threatening to start any future reviews that I write with 'As a Satanist...'* just to see what people say.

After all, if Christians are allowed to get on their high horses and use their religion to complain about stuff (which, let's face it, is found in most books), then surely I can use Satanism to complain about other stuff.

*I'm not, but I've had my moments...

 

[Tunn11]

I have become so tired of reviews of my books which begin 'As a Christian...' and then go on to complain about bad language (or, as they call it, 'cussing') and sex - I should, before you all get over excited, point out that I don't write graphic sex scenes, sex is simply alluded to in my books) that I am threatening to start any future reviews that I write with 'As a Satanist...'* just to see what people say.

After all, if Christians are allowed to get on their high horses and use their religion to complain about stuff (which, let's face it, is found in most books), then surely I can use Satanism to complain about other stuff.

*I'm not, but I've had my moments...

Makes me wonder what people who write that sort of thing do read. I was going to guess at children's books but those that aren't sweary in a mild way are probably about magic or talking animals etc. and therefore "the work of the Devil".

The next step then is banning everything they consider "evil" - for everyone's good of course. Maybe those people are what the Devil does?

 

[AmStramGram]

Makes me wonder what people who write that sort of thing do read. I was going to guess at children's books but those that aren't sweary in a mild way are probably about magic or talking animals etc. and therefore "the work of the Devil".

The next step then is banning everything they consider "evil" - for everyone's good of course. Maybe those people are what the Devil does?

They read the Bible of course !

A text free from the dangers of sexual allusions ...

Genesis 19-33 to 36 for instance :

"And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.

And it came to pass on the morrow, that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.

And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.

Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father”

Behold ! One can get pregnant simply by sleeping next to a drunken man. Isn't this miraculous ?

 

[catseye]

Makes me wonder what people who write that sort of thing do read. I was going to guess at children's books but those that aren't sweary in a mild way are probably about magic or talking animals etc. and therefore "the work of the Devil".

The next step then is banning everything they consider "evil" - for everyone's good of course. Maybe those people are what the Devil does?

From my experience - any sex outside marriage (even if the couple do go on to marry), swearing (even had one objecting to 'the swearing' during a childbirth scene) and blasphemy. Even though my books are written in the UK, by a British writer, and we live in a secular society. Apparently, we're all supposed to write as though we live in Bible Belt America, in case someone who should probably stick to reading 'sweet, clean Christian' romances, picks up one of my books.

Edited to add - I have never met one of these people, by the way. Every single American I have ever met has been delightful. So I can only assume that they live in closed communities so they don't get infected by our godless ways.

 

[maximus otter]

If God Does Miracles, What Does Satan Do?​

Simple: “Reality” TV, rap music, boy bands, nylon socks, old men who whistle in shops, £500 Novas with £1,500 bass systems, mushy peas, fat women who waddle side-by-side on pavements, clamshell packaging, fat men with flaky terracotta-coloured legs and yellow toenails who wear shorts in public, VAT, and every other splinter of shell in the egg mayonnaise sandwich of modern life.

maximus otter

 

[Sid]

If God Does Miracles, What Does Satan Do?​

maximus otter

M'mm?

 

[Mouldy13]

Doesn't give bass guitar lessons apparently, I've stood at many a crossroad late at night with me four string bass...not a dickybat

Doesn't give bass guitar lessons apparently, I've stood at many a crossroad late at night with me four string bass...not a dickybat

 

[Sid]

View attachment 68165

He should have gone for playing Soul Music!

 

[Ascalon]

If God Does Miracles, What Does Satan Do?​

Simple: “Reality” TV, rap music, boy bands, nylon socks, old men who whistle in shops, £500 Novas with £1,500 bass systems, mushy peas, fat women who waddle side-by-side on pavements, clamshell packaging, fat men with flaky terracotta-coloured legs and yellow toenails who wear shorts in public, VAT, and every other splinter of shell in the egg mayonnaise sandwich of modern life.

maximus otter

... And bitter old men making pointless lists on the internet?

 

[bugmum]

If God does miracles, what does Satan do?

Whatever he wants, I should imagine.

 

[Erinaceus]

Satan makes tracks in the snow to confuse people.

 

[Tigerhawk]

If God Does Miracles, What Does Satan Do?​

Simple: “Reality” TV, rap music, boy bands, nylon socks, old men who whistle in shops, £500 Novas with £1,500 bass systems, mushy peas, fat women who waddle side-by-side on pavements, clamshell packaging, fat men with flaky terracotta-coloured legs and yellow toenails who wear shorts in public, VAT, and every other splinter of shell in the egg mayonnaise sandwich of modern life.

maximus otter

... And bitter old men making pointless lists on the internet?

People without a sense of humour, complaining on the internet....

 

[Floyd]

People without a sense of humour, complaining on the internet....

You should see my list.
It's about five times longer than Maximus'.
Even I'm on it.

 

[Sid]

If God does miracles, what does Satan do?

Whatever he wants, I should imagine.

Ah, but maybe 'God' limits his endeavour's?

 

[Ogdred Weary]

I have become so tired of reviews of my books which begin 'As a Christian...' and then go on to complain about bad language (or, as they call it, 'cussing') and sex - I should, before you all get over excited, point out that I don't write graphic sex scenes, sex is simply alluded to in my books) that I am threatening to start any future reviews that I write with 'As a Satanist...'* just to see what people say.

After all, if Christians are allowed to get on their high horses and use their religion to complain about stuff (which, let's face it, is found in most books), then surely I can use Satanism to complain about other stuff.

*I'm not, but I've had my moments...

There's a fair few Christian conservatives in the US but they are still a minority of 5% of humanity. How many seem to have actually read the book? I mean is there info in the review that shows actually familiarity? Some might just be going online to complain about any book not especially aimed at them.