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Imposter Syndrome / Impostor Syndrome

Peripart

Peripart

Antediluvian
Joined
Aug 1, 2005
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Browsing the BBC Worldwide website, I found that there's a name for a feeling which afflicts me from time to time, and, I'm sure, many of you as well.
Ever looked around and felt it's just a matter of time before someone finds out you’re faking it, that you're not as competent as you appear?

You're not alone. The feeling is so common it even has a name — and a Wikipedia page. Imposter syndrome, or imposter phenomenon, is experienced by both men and women alike. It can be crippling. But there are ways to cope with overwhelming self-doubt.

Caroline Holt, a consultant and career coach in London, worked with a woman in a senior position at a Big Four accounting firm who was in line for a promotion to become a director. The partners at the firm were pursuing her for the position, but the woman resisted, even though she wanted the job. She feared the company "would find out that she is not as good as it thinks she is," Holt said.

As the sole breadwinner for her family, the stakes were high for Holt's client. Holt helped her explore her fears. And, crucially, accept her accomplishments as the fruit of her talent and hard work. The woman had struggled to understand her own value and worried that being "found out" would mean she could lose her job and be unable to support her child.

If you’ve ever felt like Holt's client — a pretender in your own skin — you're in good company. Academy Award winning actress, Kate Winslet, has been there, too. She's been quoted as saying: “I’d wake up in the morning before going off to a shoot, and think, I can’t do this; I’m a fraud.” Facebook executive and author of the bestselling book Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg, has also said she has felt the same way, according to an article in the New Yorker.

Most likely, your imposter syndrome feelings are unfounded. But, psychologists suggest if you’re growing and learning, you'll occasionally step outside your comfort zone. And your natural reaction is fear.
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http://www.bbc.com/capital/story/20150916-feel-like-a-fraud-youre-not-alone

I don't know about you lot, but I've often felt this way, that I shouldn't go for a certain job or other position of authority because I probably wouldn't be as good as everyone else, that they'd be sneering at me. Even now, I feel a twinge of guilt if people look like they're hanging on my every word, because I'm only me, and what the hell do I know? I sometimes feel I should shut up before I get busted as a fraud.

Then again, I see the other side of the coin every week at work - someone who is barely qualified for a job, but gets by on coffee and bullshit, oblivious to their own incompetence but somehow fooling the bosses by sheer force of personality.
 

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I used to get this a lot. I used to say that I was just waiting for someone at work to point at me and say "You don't have a clue what you're doing. You're faking it!"

But then I realised that almost everyone is faking it. All of the time. Everyone is busy covering their arses, second guessing, not knowing really what to do and just hoping that someone else will do it or know what to do. That's why so many bad decisions are made in business. Then everyone tires to pass the buck.

Now I'm self employed. And faking it is essential.
 
I'm quite up-front with people if I don't know something.
In fact, I have never lied in a job interview. I could so easily say, 'yes, I know how to do that' and get the job - but I don't. I'm sure I have lost jobs to less-experienced people who have simply told bare-faced lies about their skills and qualifications.
Mind you, I have got a few jobs even though I explained that I had no domain knowledge. Maybe they liked my refreshing honesty. :cool:
 
hunck said:
They liked the cut of your jib.
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Funny that quote should pop up, because I was just thinking of an experience I had in my sailing days.

It was at Southampton Boat show, and I was skippering a Barracuda, taking punters out for a short sail, doing several trips a day. As it happened the weather was fine and sunny, with enough wind to get the boat moving well.

Then one of the punters turned to me and said "You've got a cushy job, haven't you!"
I could have thumped the stupid smug bastard! Instead, I pointed out that sailing wasn't always like this, and requires a very wide range of skills, most of which were thankfully not needed that day.

In fact I think that was the year that we had an overnight thrash to windward in a full gale just to get to Southampton from the East Coast, and only just arrived in time. I'd like to have had 'smug bastard' on that trip!

But I suppose that's the opposite of what this thread's about, because my skills were being denigrated by someone who didn't know what he was talking about. He seemed to think I was some sort of poseur, lapping up the adulation of the other punters. Tosser!
 
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It's when you begin dreaming of unicorns that you know you have a problem.
 
I am also at home to imposter syndrome, alas. (Not just in my professional life, either. I encounter it in many aspects of my life: to take just one example - not that I'm fishing for compliments - it's an abiding mystery you kind folks have yet to assemble outside my virtual castle with pitchforks and blazing torches:oops:) I try to console myself with the notion it's somehow an opposite to the Dunning-Kreuger effect. Bertrand Russell expressed a similar idea:
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
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Nonetheless, I'd trade a little of such grey matter as I might possess for a touch more reassurance...
 
I don't know if I have imposter syndrome proper, but compliments make me feel very awkward because I never know if the person is mocking me. I've been reminded many times that the correct response to a compliment is "thank you", but it's difficult - I always think "they'll think I fell for it!" or worse yet that I'm arrogant enough to agree.

ETA -
Ringo - nah, not everyone. I suck at faking it. Which is probably why I have problems.
Sigh.
 
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I think success often is down to luck, or being in the right place at the right time. However, today's corporate climate seems to favour those who have an unshakable sense of entitlement and of their own excellence, regardless of how competent they actually are. I suppose given that so many jobs these days (anything in PR or marketing or dare I say HR for example) essentially involve being paid to spout bullshit, then being a fluent bullshitter just makes you all the more likely to succeed.
 
Ulalume said:
I don't know if I have imposter syndrome proper, but compliments make me feel very awkward because I never know if the person is mocking me. I've been reminded many times that the correct response to a compliment is "thank you", but it's difficult - I always think "they'll think I fell for it!" or worse yet that I'm arrogant enough to agree.
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From Douglas Adams and John Lloyd's The Meaning of Liff:
Oshkosh. (noun) The noise made by someone who has just been grossly flattered and is trying to make light of it.

Now you know what to say.
 
I'm having a bit of this right now - online in a certain forum I've been on for years, seeing people talk about a piece of work I did several years ago that has just come out, and they're all discussing it in a far more erudite way than I could. I keep almost posting a comment then not bothering as I feel the depth of my knowledge isn't as great as some might think, and it's best to stay silent and be thought an idiot, than open my mouth and remove all doubt.;) Also because it's something I did ages ago, I can no longer remember much of it and feel like it's not at my fingertips... Get that a lot with my work - I'm always waiting for someone to find the flaw, or go on the attack, or catch me out. To the point I totally dissociate for it once it's out. When you see people you respect saying positive things, it feels unreal; like they're talking about someone else.
 
What work is it that you are talking about? Are you an artist or writer?
 
graylien said:
I suppose given that so many jobs these days (anything in PR or marketing or dare I say HR for example) essentially involve being paid to spout bullshit, then being a fluent bullshitter just makes you all the more likely to succeed.
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We've just hired a young woman to manage one of our shops, she seems nice enough and keen but you can tell she's just left a corporation ... if you say anything to her that might require a verbal response, she always says "Exactly!". The only reason this is making me a bit nervous is because I used to work alongside an ex corporate type who used to the same thing but said "Absolutely!" instead to everything ... he turned out to be a bully and a thief so we changed the locks after firing him ..
 
Swifty said:
We've just hired a young woman to manage one of our shops, she seems nice enough and keen but you can tell she's just left a corporation ... if you say anything to her that might require a verbal response, she always says "Exactly!". The only reason this is making me a bit nervous is because I used to work alongside an ex corporate type who used to the same thing but said "Absolutely!" instead to everything ... he turned out to be a bully and a thief so we changed the locks after firing him ..
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Exactly!
 
Let's make that happen then.
 
Our thoughts, have been influenced by other people - you know, those ones who we respected, those ones who's opinions mattered to us, those ones who seemed more at ease than us, those ones we feared - such influence they have all had upon us.

While saying that, I think that it's human to not believe what our full and complete worth is, once we become adults - there is too much water under the bridge.

My thoughts at times of stress, of confrontation and of self doubt, just reflect the idea that I'm not totally capable, this was something that I self taught myself a long time ago.

So, I've learnt that I will be present where I am, and I will accept where I am with gratitude.
 
I have this all the time. I've been in my current job for over 10 years (bleh!) and even though it's a relatively simple, low-paid thing, it took me a long time to get to the point where I felt that I could do it effectively. Before then, I always felt that I didn't really know what I was doing. Now I'm retraining, and there's this sense of dread about my impending job search when I get my qualification, because I don't feel that I'm good enough to do the jobs. Then, if I do get hired somehow, will I be able to actually do the job? Will people be laughing at me, thinking how did she get hired in the first place?

I'm attending a conference on Friday for 'new professionals' in the field, and my unconfident side is screaming 'This is not for people like you! Professionals?! Conference?!" so I'm having to suppress that to some extent so I can think a bit more rationally. I'm still nervous about it though - in fact, this will probably be what I look like when I get there - :confused:

And funnily enough, one of the seminars at the conference is about... imposter syndrome! :D
 
Undoubtedly.
 
This silliness actually beings things back on topic: who else remembers the two characters from Reginald Perrin, one of whom only ever said "great", and the other, "super"? They were probably sufferers of imposter syndrome, scared to say anything too controversial or provocative for fear of being thought incompetent.


FFS - why is my spell-checker underlining "imposter"? It's a perfectly cromulent word.
 
Peripart said:
This silliness actually beings things back on topic: who else remembers the two characters from Reginald Perrin, one of whom only ever said "great", and the other, "super"? They were probably sufferers of imposter syndrome, scared to say anything too controversial or provocative for fear of being thought incompetent.


FFS - why is my spell-checker underlining "imposter"? It's a perfectly cromulent word.
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I do remember that and I hadn't thought about the connection until your post ... and I didn't get where I am today without noticing connections .. are you sure your underline bit in you post task bar isn't on?
 
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