I'm with you on the JC biscuit/cake taxonomy.Jaffa cakes are great and I'll tell you why: three tastes and, crucially, three textures: crisp chocolate, smooth jelly, slightly chewy sponge.
And they're biscuits for the same reason tomatoes are fruit: function. Airport security don't confiscate your glasses, because they're glass. If somebody asked you whether you liked cakes, and you answered in the affirmative, and they brought out a packet of Jaffa Cakes, you'd think they were mad.
Jaffa Cakes: functionally biscuits.
Office politics.I was once assaulted with a Jaffa cake during an office battle.
A colleague (who I always suspected of being a closet ninja) was speeding past on a reversed castor chair, being pushed by that girl from accounts (they were both wearing small dustbins as helmets, so you know what I was dealing with).
He spun a standard (perhaps stale and hard) Jaffa cake towards me, with the slick flick of an olympic discus expert, and in Matrix slomo it weaved an inescapable path for my forehead.
I swear I saw it coming from over thirty feet away, but had no way to dodge it. It seemed to be lethally-aerodynamic, and it managed to oscillate up-down-up-down-up in a curving path, then did a full kinetic transfer of every iota of stored energy into my damn head. It was EVERY bit as painful as an airsoft pellet impact, and the Jaffa fell, dented, to the ground (as did I). My head hurt for DAYS (I was so angry, if I'd been able to catch my drive-by assassin, I'd've stapled them to the watercooler).
There's something oddly dangerous regarding the exact mass-to-size-to-shape combination of Jaffa cakes, especially if they've slightly dehydrated. I presume that the chocolate dimpling also acts like the surface of a golfball, adding to the flight endurance. You don't need shuriken throwing stars....just carry a bandolier of dried Jaffas.
This is astounding (nb I am being literal, and not sarcastic). One that surely must meet the required spec is the metasearchengine www.dogpile.com, since it searches search engines.In fact there is no 'search engine' on the web that meets the current EU criterion for being defined as a search engine.
OMG.... I grew up with altavista!This is astounding (nb I am being literal, and not sarcastic). One that surely must meet the required spec is the metasearchengine www.dogpile.com, since it searches search engines.
(And I understood that www.altavista.com was a really-real seach engine, because it used IIRC a 'non-trending algorithm'. Like AskJeeves, which is presumably no more)
The jaffa = seedlesss (low sperm count) joke is taken from an old episode of Only Fools And Horses. Whether the writer John Sullivan made it up or had heard it in use before ive no idea but i remember at the time it was treated as a brilliant original line. Similarly with the description of an ugly person having "a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp"..i distinctly remember it being coined in OFAH but it has since somehow entered the national lexicon as if its an old and organically generated expression.Evidently more than one meaning, my good fellow... (News to me as well!).