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Last Words Of Executed Criminals

CarlosTheDJ

CarlosTheDJ

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Die Laughing

In Texas, convicted murderer Patrick Knight is about to be executed on 26 June, but has decided to go out on a laugh. He wants his last words to be a joke, and is asking people to send in their own gags.

Knight, who was found guilty of murdering his neighbours Walter and Mary Werner nearly 16 years ago, and has since then admitted his guilt, claimed he got the idea from a fellow Death Row inmate, Vincent Gutierrez, who said as he was being sent to his death, "Where's a stunt double when you need one?"

Knight said that, "I'm not trying to disrespect the Werner's or anything like that. I'm about to die. I'm not going to sit here and whine and cry and moan. I'm not asking for money. I'm not asking for a pen pal. All I'm asking for is jokes."

Knight has stated that he will not do anything vulgar or anything containing bad language. Although he did said, "It wouldn't be bad if it was a little bit on the edge. That would be cool." He also said that lawyer jokes have been rather popular so far.

So far, 250 jokes have been sent to him. People can send in their jokes at his friends Myspace page, or post their gags to him at:

Patrick Knight #999072
Polunsky Unit 3872 FM 350 S. Livingston
Texas 77351
USA
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Story from Chortle.co.uk
 
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one deaty row convicts last words before execution were...

"fishing. I'd rather be fishing."
 
Pietro_Mercurios said:
kamalktk said:
The American state of Texas keeps an online record of the last statements of criminals it executes.

http://www.tdcj.state.tx.us/death_row/dr_executed_offenders.html
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Makes grim, grim, reading.
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No doubt the majority of those people were guilty, but seeing the scrupulously recorded and categorised details of how they were executed by the state a) made me by turns queasy and angry, and b) made me think of the Nazis.

Killing killers to prove that killing is wrong is the logic of the barbarian.
 
I picked a random selection to read and every single one mentioned God or Jesus.

Is this because the highest number of states that execute are in the bible belt, because one of the few visitors the condemned person will get is the pastor or because when you are facing certain death it makes much more sense to believe in God than not doing so?
 
liveinabin1 said:
I picked a random selection to read and every single one mentioned God or Jesus.

Is this because the highest number of states that execute are in the bible belt, because one of the few visitors the condemned person will get is the pastor or because when you are facing certain death it makes much more sense to believe in God than not doing so?
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There may also be a correlation between a belief in God and irrational behaviour or even insanity...just sayin'.
 
liveinabin1 said:
I picked a random selection to read and every single one mentioned God or Jesus.
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There's also a few (not many) that pretty much tell everyone and the police in particular to get stuffed. Somehow, I find these more poignant than the ones saying how much they love Jesus - despite being guilty of bumping off one or more people.

Maybe that's just me.
 
I clicked quite a few and didn;t find any of those.

Are there any like "Get a move on, I haven't got all night"
 
I would ask that my last words before my execution, whatever method, would be recorded as: "Ow, stop it! That hurts!"

I used to have a book of last words/meals etc... on Texas Death Row. Some of them were amusing.
 
OneWingedBird said:
I clicked quite a few and didn;t find any of those.

Are there any like "Get a move on, I haven't got all night"
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One particularly sad one went along the lines of 'I don't know what to say, I didn't know anyone was there, Howdy.'
 
"hurry it up, you Hoosier bastard! I could hang a dozen men while you're screwing around!"

Carl Panzram
 
CarlosTheDJ said:
Story from Chortle.co.uk
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Update ...

Knight was indeed executed. His Murderpedia entry provides multiple accounts of his execution and last words (all available at the link below). Here's one of the accounts:

In the month leading up to his execution, Knight held a contest asking for people to send him jokes. Knight said that he would say the best joke in his last statement. The contest was called "Dead Man Laughing" and was announced on a MySpace page set up by one of Knight's friends. The contest was then promoted by several anti-death-penalty web sites.

According to one source, Knight received about twenty letters a day after announcing the contest, most of them with jokes. Law enforcement officials and talk show hosts and callers were not amused. "It just shows he has no respect for human life, including his own," Randall County District Attorney James Farren said.

"A little bit of levity is needed," Knight said to a reporter. "And it seems to be working. I just want to go out laughing. I'm not trying to disrespect anyone. I know I'm not innocent." ...

When Knight arrived at the Huntsville Unit on the day of his execution, he told prison officials that he had 1,300 jokes delivered to his cell on death row. He said that he chose the five he liked best and ran them past his condemned buddies on death row to pick the one that he would deliver in his last statement.

At his execution, Knight thanked God for his friends and asked for help for innocent men on death row. ... His voice shaking and nearly in tears, he said, "Not all of us are innocent, but those are."

"I said I was going to tell a joke," Knight continued. "Death has set me free. That's the biggest joke. I deserve this. And the other joke is that I am not Patrick Bryan Knight and y'all can't stop this execution now. Go ahead, I'm finished." The lethal injection was then started. He was pronounced dead at 6:21 p.m.

Knight's mistaken identity claim - which apparently was his joke - was refuted by prison spokeswoman Michelle Lyons and Randall County Sheriff Joel Richardson, who both said that his identity had been positively established.
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SOURCE: https://murderpedia.org/male.K/k1/knight-patrick-bryan.htm
 
Here's the State of Texas' official record of Knight's final words.
Last Statement
Date of Execution: June 26, 2007
Inmate: Knight, Patrick
Last Statement:
Yes, I do. I thank the Lord for giving me my friends, for getting me the ones I love. Lord reach down and help innocent men on death row. Lee Taylor needs help, Bobby Hines, Steve Woods. Not all of us are innocent, but those are. Cleve Foster needs help. Melyssa, I love you girl. I know I wasn't going to say anything, but I've got to. Jack, Irene, Danny, Doreen, I love you guys. I said I was going to tell a joke. Death has set me free. That's the biggest joke, I deserve this. And the other joke is I am not Patrick Bryan Knight, and ya'll can't stop this execution now. Go ahead, I'm finished. Come on, tell me Lord. I love you Melyssa, take care of that little monster for me.
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https://www.tdcj.texas.gov/death_row/dr_info/knightpatricklast.html
 
Here's a selection of execution last words from a website mentioned on another thread.
George Appel, a gangster, about to be executed by electrocution:
"Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel."

Thomas de Mahay Favras, upon being handed his official death sentence as he was led to the scaffold during the Reign of Terror:
"I see that you have made three spelling mistakes"

Adolf Fischer, German anarchist, before his hanging:
"This is the happiest moment of my life."

James French, sentenced to death in the electric chair:
"How about this for a headline for tomorrow's paper? 'French Fries'."

John Wayne Gacy: serial killer;
After being led into the death chamber, Gacy was asked if he had any last words, to which he replied: "Yeah; Kiss my ass."

Gary Gilmore, executed by firing squad:
"Let's do it."

Jimmy Glass, murderer, while sitting in the Louisiana electric chair:
"I'd rather be fishing."

Barbara Graham, convicted murderer to executioner Joe Feretti who was in charge of her 1955 gas-chamber execution. "Now take a deep breath and it won't bother you", Feretti said. To which Barbara retorted:
"How in the hell would you know?"

Robert Alton Harris, put to death in the gas chamber:
"You can be a king or a street sweeper, but everyone dances with the grim reaper."

Robert Karl Hicks, executed by lethal injection in Georgia:
"Come get me."

Karla Faye Tucker, executed by lethal injection:
"I am going to be face to face with Jesus now... I will see you all when you get there. I will wait for you."
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https://web.archive.org/web/20070823220601/http://www.deardeath.com/famous_last_words.htm
 
Committing murder to prove that murder is wrong.


That has always made no sense to me. Murder is murder is murder.


"I just wanted to say to all of those that have supported me over the years that I appreciate it and I love you. And I just want to tell my mom that I love her and I will see her in Heaven."

Demarco McCullum. R.I.P.
 
Read the very first one of the list out of mild interest, Billy Joe Wardlow:

“On Sunday, 13 June 1993, Wardlow, then 18, drove to the home of Carl Cole in Morris County in northeast Texas. He disconnected the phone lines from the outside then knocked on the door. There was no answer. He returned two more times during the night, then again, with Tonya Fulfer, between 5:00 and 6:00 a.m., but when he knocked on the door, there was still no answer.

The couple waited outside the house until the lights came on. This time, Cole, 82, answered Wardlow's knock. Wardlow told him his car was broken down and asked to use his phone. Cole reached over and handed him a cordless phone through the door opening. Wardlow tried it, informed Cole that it was dead, and asked to use a different phone. Cole answered "no" and began to close the door. Wardlow then drew a semiautomatic pistol, chambered a round, and ordered Cole inside. Cole then lunged at Wardlow and latched onto his arm. Wardlow shook Cole off and then shot him between the eyes. He then went inside and found the victim's wallet. He wrapped the body in a blanket, stuffed it in a closet, and locked the door. He and Fulfer then fled in the victim's truck, which had the keys in it.

...he confessed to killing Mr. Cole, who he knew, during the course of a premeditated armed robbery. "The intention was to get him to let me use the phone and once inside, I would rob him," he wrote. His two notes differed on a few matters, most notably, on his intention of killing the victim. In the first note, "I pushed him off and shot him right between the eyes. Just because he pissed me off. He was shot like an executioner would have done it."

http://txexecutions.org/reports/570-Billy-Wardlow.htm

maximus otter
 
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The execution of Nazi Julius Streicher was extraordinary for his last words.

He uttered the words "Purimfest 1946" as he was on the scaffold, very shortly before dying. He said a few other words as the hood was placed on his head and before he was hung.

There are some mind blowing connotations between the Jewish festival of Purim, it's attendant Book of Esther, and to what Streicher said, how he died, and the deaths of the other Nuremberg defendants.

Those who wish to read more could do worse than start with this link.


https://www.sdjewishworld.com/2013/02/22/purim-fest-1946-the-tale-of-julius-streicher/
 
Not exactly last words, but ... A Mississippi man executed for murder and other charges on 17 November confessed to another murder - and resolved a 2007 cold case - prior to his execution.
Man admits to another killing just before execution

A man who was executed in Mississippi last month for killing his estranged wife admitted to another killing, and his confession could resolve a 2007 cold case, a prosecutor said Monday. ...

Before his execution on Nov. 17, David Neal Cox told his attorneys he killed his sister-in-law Felicia Cox in 2007 and provided detailed instructions on where investigators could find her remains, said John Weddle, who is the district attorney for several northern Mississippi counties. ...

Felicia Cox, then 40, was last seen in July 2007 visiting her sister-in-law, Kim Kirk Cox, in Pontotoc. Kim Kirk Cox, who was married to David Neal Cox, was later killed by him in May 2010, the crime for which he was executed. ...
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FULL STORY: https://www.msn.com/en-US/news/crim...ther-killing-just-before-execution/ar-AARxo2J
 
EnolaGaia said:
Not exactly last words, but ... A Mississippi man executed for murder and other charges on 17 November confessed to another murder - and resolved a 2007 cold case - prior to his execution.
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Update ... The executed murderer left information that indeed led to the discovery of human remains.
Remains found in Mississippi based on executed man's hand-drawn map

Investigators in Mississippi said they found human remains using a hand-drawn map provided by a man the state executed last month.

The First Circuit District Attorney's Office said David Cox provided the map to his lawyer, which he said showed the whereabouts of his former sister-in-law's remains. Felicia Cox was reported missing in July 2007 and David Cox had been considered a suspect. ...

District Attorney John Weddle said the remains were excavated and transported to the Mississippi Medical Examiner's Office on Sunday. There, an autopsy and DNA testing will be performed to determine a cause of death and the identity of the remains. ...

The release from the district attorney's office said prosecutors agreed to grant David Cox immunity in Felicia Cox's disappearance if he told them the whereabouts of her body. He left the hand-drawn map for his lawyer, instructing him to hand it over to authorities after his Nov. 17 execution.
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FULL STORY: https://www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2021/12/14/Mississippi-David-Cox-remains/5671639520435/
 
Not exactly last words - but they could very well have been, had it not been for a remarkable display of wit and wisdom.

Triboulet was the court jester for Louis XII (King of France from 1498 to 1515) who is perhaps most famous for slapping the king on the arse.
This act of familiarity was somewhat overstepping the mark even for a jester and it greatly angered the king, who threatened to have Triboulet executed. After taking a moment to calm down, the king decided to spare Triboulet's life if he could think of an apology that was more offensive than what he just did to the king.

Triboulet went on to say: "I'm so sorry, your majesty, that I didn't recognize you - I mistook you for the Queen!"

Triboulet's response while clever and indeed more offensive, broke an order put in place that prohibited anyone from making fun of the queen.
The king decided to proceed with the execution, but allowed Triboulet to choose how he would die.
With his life on the line, quick-thinking Triboulet replied, "Bon sire, par sainte Nitouche et saint Pansard*, patrons de la folie, je demande à mourir de vieillesse." (Good sire, for Saint Nitouche's and Saint Pansard's sake, patrons of insanity, I choose to die from old age).

The speechless king could do nothing but just laugh. He cancelled the execution and decided merely to banish Triboulet from his court instead.

Triboulet did indeed get his wish and died of natural causes aged 57 in 1536 (not a bad innings at the time, notably for someone thought to have been born with a form of dwarfism and possibly microcephaly).

* the saints' names that Triboulet made up are puns suggestive of "hands off/prudishness" and "big belly".

triboulet.png
 
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