• We have updated the guidelines regarding posting political content: please see the stickied thread on Website Issues.

Legend: Byron's Prodigious Penis

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
Joined
Aug 24, 2001
Messages
43,131
Location
HM The Tower of London
From the Dangerous Minds site -

THAT TIME THEY OPENED LORD BYRON’S COFFIN AND FOUND HE HAD A HUMONGOUS SCHLONG

Long story short; in 1938 after restoration work at the church housing Byron's grave, the Reverend Barber was worried that the poet's coffin had been damaged. He arranged for workmen to have a dig around and they had a GOOD look at what they found.

A workman in the penultimate paragraph spills the beans;

“Look, I’ve been in the Army, I’ve been in bathhouses, I’ve seen men. But I never saw nothing like him.” He stopped again, and nodding his head, meaningfully, as novelists say, began to tap a spot just above his knee. “He was built like a pony.”

The article quotes a FT article with a slightly more dignified title -
Erotic secrets of Lord Byron’s tomb

There are similar photos and the same quote, along with an interesting anecdote about a row of detached male members preserved in jars at eye level, gently dancing together when their shelf was knocked.

Anyway... a nice read.
 
Surely his schlong would be badly decomposed?
 
Surely his schlong would be badly decomposed?

I also wondered why he would have been buried naked. Was he? Surely not. Or had his clothes rotted away? Or been stolen? Dunno.
 
I have a long standing crush on the poet Byron and I was deeply disappointed when looking at one of his shirts to find that since the days when he wore it it had been cleaned and another man (David Essex, of all people) had used it. I had hoped that he (Byron) had taken it off and it was never touched again, thereby leaving some trace of the smell of his armpits! Considering the man died a hundred years before my dad was born, it was a forlorn hope but I have an active imagination, a very sensitive nose, and I live always in hope!!

Bewhiffer is a fabulous word!
Did you read about the disturbance of his grave, and what was found?
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Please, please expand upon what was found when his grave was disturbed?....

OK! Link is to a safe popular history site -
They Dug Up Lord Byron’s Body in 1938 and Were Shocked by The Size of His...

At four o'clock on the afternoon of 15th June 1938, the doors to St. Mary Magdalene were locked. Inside, around forty people waited expectantly for the opening of the Byron vault.

Long story short, the vault was opened for a check if Byron's body was really interred there, and his most famous feature was examined and remarked upon.
 
It's a good story but with my sceptical trousers on, I'm somewhat doubtful that a monster todger would still be apparent after 102 years

You'd be surprised. Bodies decay at different rates depending the the chemical environment and other factors, such as how they're wrapped and the condition of the coffin. Parts of bodies can be preserved while others are not. There are stomach-churning theses to be read on this enthralling subject.

What puzzles me more is that nobody thought of examining Byron's famously deformed right foot and lower leg.
 
Last edited:
You'd be surprised. Bodies decay at different rates depending the the chemical environment and other factors, such as how they're wrapped and the condition of the coffin. Parts of bodies can be preserved while others are not. There are stomach-churning theses to be read on this enthralling subject.

What puzzles me more is that nobody thought of examining Byron's family deformed right foot and lower leg.
I’m not going to do a search online to see if todgers in general are less prone to decay than other parts of the body!
 
What puzzles me more is that nobody thought of examining Byron's famously deformed right foot and lower leg.

They were too busy staring at his cock.

Especially the present Right Honourable Member.
 
This thread is in grave danger of turning into Carry On Forteana.

And I personally find the Byron thing a tad hard to swallow, especially given the MP of the suspiciously apropros name.
 
Oh F.F.S. I'll do it then! After all, it won't be the first time I've looked for penises on the interweb :wink2:

I did a search with the words 'cadaver', penis' and 'decay' and found this fact:

Bloat is most noticeable in the abdomen, Arpad is saying, where the largest numbers of bacteria are, but it happens in other bacterial hot spots, most notably the mouth and genitalia. "It's predominant in the groin and face. In the male, the penis and especially the testicles can become very large."

The full article is here https://www.salon.com/2003/04/17/roach_excerpt/ (not for the squeamish)
 
Oh F.F.S. I'll do it then! After all, it won't be the first time I've looked for penises on the interweb :wink2:

I did a search with the words 'cadaver', penis' and 'decay' and found this fact:

Bloat is most noticeable in the abdomen, Arpad is saying, where the largest numbers of bacteria are, but it happens in other bacterial hot spots, most notably the mouth and genitalia. "It's predominant in the groin and face. In the male, the penis and especially the testicles can become very large."

The full article is here https://www.salon.com/2003/04/17/roach_excerpt/ (not for the squeamish)
To combine two threads... Undead Buster Gonad...
 
Back
Top