Limericks

[feen5]

Ok so i ruined the last Limerick thread and it did not reappear after the last message board shake up but damn it we need one so normal rules apply one line per person and anything goes


A despicable poster called feen,

 

[MsPix]

A despicable poster called feen,

Said that his dowsing rod was a wee 'un.

 

[escargot]

A despicable poster called feen,
Said that his dowsing rod was a wee 'un.
It points down to his feet

 

[GNC]

A despicable poster called feen,
Said that his dowsing rod was a wee 'un.
It points down to his feet
But do you know what's quite sweet?

 

[ArthurASCII]

A despicable poster called feen,
Said that his dowsing rod was a wee 'un.
It points down to his feet
But do you know what's quite sweet?
You can view it on Youtube (widescreen).
--------------------------------------------------

A Fortean poet once said

 

[escargot]

A Fortean poet once said
'Alas! We have all been misled!'

 

[GNC]

A Fortean poet once said
'Alas! We have all been misled!'
'That thing in Loch Ness

 

[wairddeb]

A Fortean poet once said
'Alas! We have all been misled!'
'That thing in Loch Ness
Was glimpsed wearing a dress

 

[ArthurASCII]

A Fortean poet once said
'Alas! We have all been misled!'
'That thing in Loch Ness
Was glimpsed wearing a dress
'Twas in fact a cross-dresser named Fred.
---------------------------------------------------

On my desk sits a curious thing

 

[Peripart]

On my desk sits a curious thing

Which was left on my doorstep by Sting

 

[GNC]

On my desk sits a curious thing
Which was left on my doorstep by Sting
Don't stand so close,

 

[feen5]

On my desk sits a curious thing
Which was left on my doorstep by Sting
Don't stand so close,
It may feed on toes,

 

[Nemo]

On my desk sits a curious thing
Which was left on my doorstep by Sting
Don't stand so close,
It may feed on toes,
With a side order of chicken wings.

---------------

While writing out a googolplex,

 

[Timble2]

While writing out a googolplex,
I spotted my dog having poodle sex.

 

[GNC]

While writing out a googolplex,
I spotted my dog having poodle sex.
Fetch a bucket of water!

 

[Peripart]

While writing out a googolplex,
I spotted my dog having poodle sex.
Fetch a bucket of water!
And lock up your daughter!

 

[Rubyait]

While writing out a googolplex,
I spotted my dog having poodle sex.
Fetch a bucket of water!
And lock up your daughter!
The look on its face says shes next!


In the jungles of the Congo

 

[GNC]

In the jungles of the Congo
Treat yourself to a pint of Um Bongo,

 

[ArthurASCII]

In the jungles of the Congo
Treat yourself to a pint of Um Bongo
Then swing through the trees

 

[feen5]

In the jungles of the Congo
Treat yourself to a pint of Um Bongo
Then swing through the trees

while preforming a striptease

 

[Timble2]

In the jungles of the Congo
Treat yourself to a pint of Um Bongo
Then swing through the trees

while preforming a striptease

And making hot luurve to a pongo.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Orangutans are so eager to please,

 

[AMPHIARAUS]

Orangutans are so eager to please,

They will do anything for a small slice of cheese

 

[GNC]

Orangutans are so eager to please,
They will do anything for a small slice of cheese
Or a ticket to see

 

[escargot]

Orangutans are so eager to please,
They will do anything for a small slice of cheese
Or a ticket to see
Michael Jackson's left knee

 

[Moooksta]

Orangutans are so eager to please,
They will do anything for a small slice of cheese
Or a ticket to see
Michael Jackson's left knee

(Though ticket refunds have no guarantees)

------------------------------------------------------------

"Ere in London we're beginning to sizzle

 

[GNC]

"Ere in London we're beginning to sizzle
And in Glasgow they're starting to fizzle,

 

[escargot]

"Ere in London we're beginning to sizzle
And in Glasgow they're starting to fizzle,
But we stay cool in Crewe

 

[Peripart]

"Ere in London we're beginning to sizzle
And in Glasgow they're starting to fizzle,
But we stay cool in Crewe

(And in Brummagem too)

 

[Moooksta]

"Ere in London we're beginning to sizzle
And in Glasgow they're starting to fizzle,
But we stay cool in Crewe

(And in Brummagem too)

Ah crap! London's gone back to drizzle!

------------------------------------------------------------------

Feel free to start a new rhyme!

 

[feen5]

''Ere in London we're beginning to sizzle
And in Glasgow they're starting to fizzle,
But we stay cool in Crewe
And in Brummagem too

While in Ireland we make do with Drizzle


In wimbledon they have a new roof,