Limericks

INT21

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Could I master the saxaphone?
Would my playing melt a heart of stone?
you could give it a try.
I might make you all cry!
May be best if you just live alone.

A beautiful German named Frieda
 

Tigerhawk

Resistance is futile!
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Location
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A beautiful German named Frieda
Aspired to be a world leader
But Angela said 'no my dear
Just advance from the rear!"
 

INT21

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A beautiful German named Frieda
Aspired to be a world leader
But Angela said 'no my dear
Just advance from the rear!"
And that's where she is if you need 'er.

But the French have a different approach
 

INT21

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But the French have a different approach
With all the high-viz they can poach
All that strong cheese and wine
 

Recycled1

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But the French have a different approach
With all the high-viz they can poach
All that strong cheese and wine
Builds a firm protest line
 

INT21

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But the French have a different approach
With all the high-viz they can poach
All that strong cheese and wine
Builds a firm protest line
and they'll petrol bomb your tourist coach.

So. are they 'cheese eating surrender monkeys' ?
 

GNC

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So. are they 'cheese eating surrender monkeys' ?
Doesn't matter when their disco's so funky
 

INT21

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So. are they 'cheese eating surrender monkeys' ?
Doesn't matter when their disco's so funky
'Parlez-vous français'?
 

Recycled1

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So. are they 'cheese eating surrender monkeys' ?
Doesn't matter when their disco's so funky
'Parlez-vous français'?
"Un petit peu" - nothing fancy
 

INT21

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So. are they 'cheese eating surrender monkeys' ?
Doesn't matter when their disco's so funky
'Parlez-vous français'?
"Un petit peu" - nothing fancy
such a shame, cause my English is clunky.

As I'm tall, debonair, multilingual
 

GNC

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As I'm tall, debonair, multilingual
I often get asked "Are you single?"
"Yes, but not by choice!"
"It's because of my voice"
 

Recycled1

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As I'm tall, debonair, multilingual
I often get asked "Are you single?"
"Yes, but not by choice!"
"It's because of my voice"
"I sound like the icecream van's jingle".

=============================
A voice coach is just what you need.
 

Recycled1

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A voice coach is just what you need.
For booming tones with which you'll succeed
Engage gentle tones
And avoid mobile phones
 

INT21

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A voice coach is just what you need.
For booming tones with which you'll succeed
Engage gentle tones
And avoid mobile phones
and be honest , whatever your creed.

Dear old Aunty May's a soprano
 

INT21

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Dear old Aunty May's a soprano
So accompany her on piano
but I can't play a note
And she's got a sore throat.
I'm off to play with my meccano

I sing as I soak in the bath
 

INT21

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I sing as I soak in the bath
Until I hear someone near laugh
I'm a strong baritone
Though my talent's unknown
I flip burgers in our local caf'

But one day I'll be on the stage
 
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