Limericks

Keith peace

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The actress said to the bishop
"I don't mean to just have a pop.
So hitch up those skirts!
For my scepter fair hurts
And once started I really can’t stop”


Let me also point out that it’s good form to repeat the previous lines in your post so that the entire limerick as it stands can be read in one go.
Ideally, the poem should make grammatical and logical sense too, although this is sometimes difficult to achieve.
And with that, welcome Mr. Peace to our little game!


As I wandered deep in the woods
@IamSundog sorry about messing it up, I'm getting the hang of it though!!
 

Recycled1

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You're nearly there Keith!
When about to add your line, you click 'Quote' and 'Reply' in the bottom right hnd corner of the limerick post you are about to add to, and hey presto it appears ready for action in properly set out form.
You may need to get rid of a few unnecessary extra words, but that's easily done by backspacing.
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''``````````````
As I wandered deep in the woods (IamSundog's line)
Hoping someone would give up the goods (GNC's line)
I heard a low growl
 

IamSundog

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As I wandered deep in the woods
Hoping someone would give up the goods
I heard a low growl
So I grabbed my towel
‘Twas Recycled in one of her “moods”



So, where is that money you owe me?
 

Recycled1

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So, where is that money you owe me?
Pissed up the wall, so you see
In anger she demanded
I'll have you remanded
 

IamSundog

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So, where is that money you owe me?
Pissed up the wall, so you see
In anger she demanded
I'll have you remanded
And happily throw ‘way the key


‘Cross the windswept plains of Mongolia
 

GNC

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‘Cross the windswept plains of Mongolia
I carried in my lapel a magnolia
To meet the Death Worm
 

Recycled1

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Cross the windswept plains of Mongolia
I carried in my lapel a magnolia
To meet the Death Worm
And zap with Prioderm
 

IamSundog

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Hmmm. OK, let’s review.

“Limerick
Form of verse

Description: A limerick is a form of verse, usually humorous and frequently rude, in five-line, predominantly anapestic meter with a strict rhyme scheme of AABBA, in which the first, second and fifth line rhyme, while the third and fourth lines are shorter and share a different rhyme.”

Thus, assuming you are submitting the fifth line, it needs to rhyme with “Mongolia”, which you already rhymed so adroitly with “magnolia”. I’m afraid that “bonkers” is a bit too wide of the mark. I can suggest “scholia” or “folia” or even “like I tol’ ya”.

Care to try again?
 
Last edited:

Keith peace

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Hmmm. OK, let’s review.

“Limerick
Form of verse

Description: A limerick is a form of verse, usually humorous and frequently rude, in five-line, predominantly anapestic meter with a strict rhyme scheme of AABBA, in which the first, second and fifth line rhyme, while the third and fourth lines are shorter and share a different rhyme.”

Thus, assuming you are submitting the fifth line, it needs to rhyme with “Mongolia”, which you already rhymed so adroitly with “magnolia”. I’m afraid that “bonkers” is a bit too wide of the mark. I can suggest “scholia” or “folia” or even “like I tol’ ya”.

Care to try again?
@IamSundog sorry I thought i was going to go off piste!!so here goes:-
The sands they never looked holier..
 

IamSundog

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Dr Karl Shuker he went bonkers
When a moth started eating his conkers.
And he climbed the walls
with plundered smalls
He stole off a couple of plonkers*


*As an American I need to confirm whether thus is correct usage?

The buzzards are circling above
 

Recycled1

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I vaguely think of a 'plonker' being an idiot -probably based on the BBC's use in "Only Fools and Horses".

The buzzards are circling above
Singing their sweet songs of love
"Come here, little vole"
 

Recycled1

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The buzzards are circling above
Singing their sweet songs of love
"Come here, little vole
It's my meaning to cajole
Then eat you, along with this dove".

...............................................................................................
Dodgy jokes are best shared with the few*



*topical again -Danny Baker!
 

IamSundog

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Dodgy jokes are best shared with the few*
And best not be racist - just blue
Or just be quiet!
You think so? I don’t buy it!
 

Recycled1

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Dodgy jokes are best shared with the few*
And best not be racist - just blue
Or just be quiet!
You think so? I don’t buy it!
Bring back Eric and Ernie -they'll do!


//////////////////////////////////////////////

A TV presenter called Jerry
 
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