Limericks

INT21

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Had to get the thread back on track!
And give the offenders a whack!
Sit ont' naughty step
with your old dog, shep
 

Tigerhawk

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Had to get the thread back on track!
And give the offenders a whack!
Sit ont' naughty step
with your old dog, shep
Thank Fort someone has picked up the slack!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

When something wicked this way comes
 

IamSundog

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I set out to walk to some far distant place
Where I could bury some of these excess syllables without any trace
Although, usually, I try to stick to the limerick's anapaestic trimeter
I mean, I'm not necessarily a limericks purists, but there are rules and guidelines to follow and feature
But I do apologize if the sarcasm of the lines submitted in response seems off base


The required rhythm is a triplet rhythm - ie an accent in every third syllable:
da DA da da DA da da DA
No problem there.

The first, second and fifth line should contain exactly three accented beats. The number of leading and trailing weak beats may vary although I believe there needs to be at least one weak beat before the first strong beat. These are all acceptable:
1. da DA da da DA da da DA
2. da da DA da da DA da da DA da
3. da da DA da da DA da da DA da da


I poked fun at your first line because it contains four strong beats:
i SET off to WALK to some FAR distant PLACE

...which kind of steps on the space that properly belongs to the second line.
I do apologize if my jibe (and Chas’s and GNC’s) came off as overly pedantic. It was all meant in fun.
 

IamSundog

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...and there have been many violations of meter over the years. Some intentional and humorously so, some done out of artistic license.
 

INT21

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When something wicked this way comes
And reciting Fortean Tomes
You'd better be ready
They call her Black Betty
She'll lure you away from your homes.

I went to a gig at the local town hall
 

IamSundog

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I went to a gig at the local town hall
Advertising Mark E. Smith and The Fall
'Twas a great night out
Slugged down many a stout
 

INT21

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I went to a gig at the local town hall
Advertising Mark E. Smith and The Fall
'Twas a great night out
Slugged down many a stout
but then pissed it all on the wall.

In the morning my poor head was aching,
 

GNC

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In the morning my poor head was aching,
So gave up drink as the dawn was breaking
 

INT21

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In the morning my poor head was aching,
So gave up drink as the dawn was breaking
But, tonight I'll be back
 

IamSundog

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]n the morning my poor head was aching,
So gave up drink as the dawn was breaking
But, tonight I'll be back
Picking up the slack
All pretense of temperance forsaking


I’m not sorry I gave you that black eye
 

GNC

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I’m not sorry I gave you that black eye
To quote The Catcher And The Rye
'In'
not 'And' (says the pedant)
Shows he's not well read and
 

Tigerhawk

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I’m not sorry I gave you that black eye
To quote The Catcher And The Rye
'In'
not 'And' (says the pedant)
Shows he's not well read and
Snarky narcissist on the sly!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I have here a list of banned things!
 

INT21

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I have here a list of banned things!
As decreed by generations of kings
Two piece bikinis
oversize weenies
 

GNC

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I have here a list of banned things!
As decreed by generations of kings
Two piece bikinis
oversize weenies
And all unnecessary sufferings.

***

I've cracked the art of breakdance
 

INT21

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I've cracked the art of breakdance
I can see that with merely a glance
Ooh -your flies are undone!
'Yes, it adds to the fun'
 

IamSundog

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I've cracked the art of breakdance
I can see that with merely a glance
Ooh -your flies are undone!
'Yes, it adds to the fun'
When you backflip it falls out your pants


I’m going to take up figure skating
 
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