Limericks

Comfortably Numb

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Oh dear, you groan. 'I thought that I was dreaming'
while all the time in my jim jams the dreadful turd was steaming.
And now I'll have to change the sheets, my, what a dismal life.
I don't know how I'll do if I have to wake the wife..
One is instructed to convey the following, on behalf of friends and family assembled here on a Friday night and reading this for the first time along with myself... :hapdan::hapdan::hapdan::hapdan::hapdan: :welc::beer:
 

Recycled1

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When I used the world's biggest Ouija board
The spirits all turned up in a horde
Expecting to feed
On those newly bereaved
 

IamSundog

Not insane
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When I used the world's biggest Ouija board
The spirits all turned up in a horde
Expecting to feed
On those newly bereaved
But their howls were largely ignored



I find your behavior offensive
 

GNC

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I find your behavior offensive
And its cost to me? Very expensive
My massive outrage
 

INT21

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I find your behavior offensive
And its cost to me? Very expensive
My massive outrage
takes up nearly a page
 

Recycled1

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I find your behavior offensive
And its cost to me? Very expensive
My massive outrage
takes up nearly a page
So don't try to go on the defensive.
.......................................................................

Saying sorry just isn't enough
 

Comfortably Numb

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Saying sorry just isn't enough... When your wife says, 'this steak is too tough'... Best Aberden Angus it's not, it came from the local pet shop... and the dog's wondering where is its dinner.
 

Recycled1

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Saying sorry just isn't enough
When you wife says' this steak is too tough
She needs groveling remorse
Move onto the next course
Some good old British plum duff.

..............................................................................
Let's go for more healthy cuisine
 

Comfortably Numb

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Let's go for more healthy cuisine
And make sure our meat cuts are lean
Though vegans may scorn
It's the way we were born
And would sooner eat insects than Quorn
 

GNC

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One line per customer please
Even if you have rhyme expertise
If you're carried away
 

Recycled1

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One line per customer please
Even if you have rhyme expertise
If you're carried away
In a sententious way
You'll be pelted with mouldy cheese!

.....................................................................................

'Blitz Limericks' gives you more scope
 

INT21

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'Blitz Limericks' gives you more scope
To set up a neat rhythm , and hope
That the poster coming after
Can make it sound dafter
So come on and give him some rope.

I say, aren't you Horus the Hawk
 

ChasFink

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I say, aren't you Horus the Hawk
That Egyptian god I used to stalk?
What fun times we had!
But Osiris, your dad,
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
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I say, aren't you Horus the Hawk
That Egyptian god I used to stalk?
What fun times we had!
But Osiris, your dad,
Called it off, when he started to balk.

***

On your shoulders, you should keep your head
 
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