Limericks

GNC

King-Sized Canary
Joined
Aug 25, 2001
Messages
28,762
Likes
14,168
Points
284
I look dapper in my drain pipe pants
Tailored to fit my implants
And my hemp fiber cravat
Is nothing to stab at
But what do the trousers enhance?

***

When I saw a ghost glow in the dark
 

IamSundog

Not insane
Joined
Oct 11, 2002
Messages
3,439
Likes
1,068
Points
184
When I saw a ghost glow in the dark
I flashed him right back for a lark
oh man, did he wail
As he jumped and turned tail
 

Recycled1

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
3,356
Likes
662
Points
129
When I saw a ghost glow in the dark
I flashed him right back for a lark
oh man, did he wail
As he jumped and turned tail
The sight just extinguished his spark.

================================
That Christmas fairy looks squiffy
 

IamSundog

Not insane
Joined
Oct 11, 2002
Messages
3,439
Likes
1,068
Points
184
That Christmas fairy looks squiffy
Though her sparkling tiara's quite spiffy
Her face - awfully rough
Though strangely enough
Her look overall gives me a stiffy


My gifts this year will all be classy
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
Joined
Aug 25, 2001
Messages
28,762
Likes
14,168
Points
284
My gifts this year will all be classy
I'll make CDs of me imitating Shirley Bassey
 

IamSundog

Not insane
Joined
Oct 11, 2002
Messages
3,439
Likes
1,068
Points
184
My gifts this year will all be classy
I'll make CDs of me imitating Shirley Bassey
Singing 'Hey Big Spender!'
As I blur my gender
 

Recycled1

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
3,356
Likes
662
Points
129
[My gifts this year will all be classy
I'll make CDs of me imitating Shirley Bassey
Singing 'Hey Big Spender!'
As I blur my gender,
Wearing lame and wiggling my chassis.

.................................................................................
I'd rather you just sent me booze
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
Joined
Aug 25, 2001
Messages
28,762
Likes
14,168
Points
284
I'd rather you just sent me booze
At least that's something I can use!
So stuff your knit hat
I want advocaat
 

ChasFink

Ephemeral Spectre
Joined
Jan 22, 2016
Messages
325
Likes
608
Points
94
You know all that Festive Spirit?
I get creeped out whenever I’m near it
'Bah! Humbug! I cry
It's all a big lie!
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
Joined
Aug 25, 2001
Messages
28,762
Likes
14,168
Points
284
You know all that Festive Spirit?
I get creeped out whenever I’m near it
'Bah! Humbug! I cry
It's all a big lie!
In twelve months there'll be reason to fear it!

***

In a radical move for Hogmanay
 

Tigerhawk

Dazed and confused...
Joined
Jan 20, 2016
Messages
2,159
Likes
2,446
Points
154
Location
Skaro
In a radical move for Hogmanay
It is now banned in Germany!
You can't sing "Auld Lang Syne"
So go and suck a lime!
 

Recycled1

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
3,356
Likes
662
Points
129
In a radical move for Hogmanay
It is now banned in Germany!
You can't sing "Auld Lang Syne"
So go and suck a lime!
Just shout "Happy New Year" the English way.

=================================
A new year of self improvement? :)
 

IamSundog

Not insane
Joined
Oct 11, 2002
Messages
3,439
Likes
1,068
Points
184
A new year of self improvement?
I should really stop eating cement
It bungs up my bowels
Till I can’t pronounce vowels
 

IamSundog

Not insane
Joined
Oct 11, 2002
Messages
3,439
Likes
1,068
Points
184
Or how about:

A new year of self improvement?
I should really stop eating cement
It bungs up my bowels
Till my turds look like dowels
 
Top