Limericks

ChasFink

Ephemeral Spectre
Joined
Jan 22, 2016
Messages
325
Likes
608
Points
94
A new year of self improvement?
I should really stop eating cement
It bungs up my bowels
Till I can’t pronounce vowels
And speak with a strange Dutch accent.

A new year of self improvement?
I should really stop eating cement
It bungs up my bowels
Till my turds look like dowels
That work well as poles for my pup tent.
_____________________________________________________________

Soon it will be "Year of the Rat"
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
Joined
Aug 25, 2001
Messages
28,744
Likes
14,141
Points
284
Soon it will be "Year of the Rat"
Though I've already had plenty like that!
That just means you've mastered
 

IamSundog

Not insane
Joined
Oct 11, 2002
Messages
3,439
Likes
1,068
Points
184
Soon it will be "Year of the Rat"
Though I've already had plenty like that!
That just means you've mastered
The fact that life’s an ass turd
 

Recycled1

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
3,356
Likes
662
Points
129
Soon it will be "Year of the Rat"
Though I've already had plenty like that!
That just means you've mastered
The fact that life’s an ass turd
And your plans may sometimes fall flat.

*******************************************
So Meghan and Harry are leaving
 

IamSundog

Not insane
Joined
Oct 11, 2002
Messages
3,439
Likes
1,068
Points
184
Nice try, Escargot

So Meghan and Harry are leaving
In the Royals they've just stopped believing
They're off to Canuck-it
Tradition? They’ll buck it
 

Recycled1

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
3,356
Likes
662
Points
129
So Meghan and Harry are leaving
In the Royals they've just stopped believing
They're off to Canuck-it
Tradition? They’ll buck it
Shall we all wring our hands and start grieving?

..............................................................................................
Is history simply repeating?
 

IamSundog

Not insane
Joined
Oct 11, 2002
Messages
3,439
Likes
1,068
Points
184
Is history simply repeating?
Or like the internet, just retweeting?
With those awful trolls
Carrying out Putin’s goals
 

Tigerhawk

Dazed and confused...
Joined
Jan 20, 2016
Messages
2,157
Likes
2,443
Points
154
Location
Skaro
Is history simply repeating?
Or like the internet, just retweeting?
With those awful trolls
Carrying out Putin’s goals
Ignore haters out there bleating!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you're unleashing the Kraken
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
Joined
Aug 25, 2001
Messages
28,744
Likes
14,141
Points
284
If you're unleashing the Kraken
You might wonder why it’s quackin’
Well, it does have a beak
The massive green freak
 

Recycled1

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
3,356
Likes
662
Points
129
If you're unleashing the Kraken
You might wonder why it’s quackin’
Well, it does have a beak
The massive green freak
Perhaps we disturbed it by frackin'?

.........................................................................
Please don't shut me in Room 101!
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
Joined
Aug 25, 2001
Messages
28,744
Likes
14,141
Points
284
Please don't shut me in Room 101!
I’ve heard of the things that are done!

Those small, furry creatures
 

IamSundog

Not insane
Joined
Oct 11, 2002
Messages
3,439
Likes
1,068
Points
184
Please don't shut me in Room 101!
I’ve heard of the things that are done!
Those small, furry creatures
Have no lunch, so eat yours
 

Recycled1

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
3,356
Likes
662
Points
129
Please don't shut me in Room 101!
I’ve heard of the things that are done!
Those small, furry creatures
Have no lunch, so eat yours
Or eat YOU -even worse! -just for fun.

................................................................................

My worst fears would be worms, slugs or leeches.
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
Joined
Aug 25, 2001
Messages
28,744
Likes
14,141
Points
284
My worst fears would be worms, slugs or leeches.
Crawling up the legs of your breeches
 

Recycled1

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
3,356
Likes
662
Points
129
My worst fears would be worms, slugs or leeches.
Crawling up the legs of your breeches
And enjoying a snack
From your back, sack and crack
Wherever their slimy mouth reaches.....

................................................................................................................
Let's talk of something more pleasant
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
Joined
Aug 24, 2001
Messages
27,447
Likes
26,397
Points
309
Location
HM The Tower of London
Let's talk of something more pleasant
Like my experimental haemorrhoid transplant
I'm sure you'll be thrilled
That it's you who'll be billed
For Swifty's new faecal implant!


Anyway, as you were...

Let's talk of something more pleasant
Like my experimental haemorrhoid transplant
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
Joined
Aug 25, 2001
Messages
28,744
Likes
14,141
Points
284
Let's talk of something more pleasant
Like my experimental haemorrhoid transplant
Gwyneth Paltrow’s endorsed it
And feels no remorse shit
 
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