Limericks

IamSundog

Not insane
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Let's talk of something more pleasant
Like my experimental haemorrhoid transplant
Gwyneth Paltrow’s endorsed it
And feels no remorse shit
Implanted, it smells like her vag scent


I really am trying to behave
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
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I really am trying to behave
By taking my sins to the grave
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
Joined
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HM The Tower of London
I really am trying to behave
By taking my sins to the grave
So nobody will know
 

IamSundog

Not insane
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I really am trying to behave
By taking my sins to the grave
So nobody will know
Just how low I can go
 

Recycled1

Justified & Ancient
Joined
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really am trying to behave
By taking my sins to the grave
So nobody will know
Just how low I can go
When I stand before God, I'll blame Dave!

.........................................................................................
Some things you just cannot undo
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
Joined
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Some things you just cannot undo
'cos we've all heard what you've got up to!
 

IamSundog

Not insane
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Some things you just cannot undo
'cos we've all heard what you've got up to!
Shock’s turned to dismay
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
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Some things you just cannot undo
'cos we've all heard what you've got up to!
Shock’s turned to dismay
Good sense gone away
 

IamSundog

Not insane
Joined
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Some things you just cannot undo
'cos we've all heard what you've got up to!
Shock’s turned to dismay
Good sense gone away
And you’ve left behind dribblings of goo


I’m much too polite to point out
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
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I’m much too polite to point out
What's dripping from GNC's snout
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
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I’m much too polite to point out
What's dripping from GNC's snout
Just a touch of the virus
 

Dinobot

Justified & Ancient
Joined
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Location
Broadcasting from the moon...
I’m much too polite to point out
What's dripping from GNC's snout
Just a touch of the virus
From Miley Cyrus
 

Tigerhawk

Dazed and confused...
Joined
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I’m much too polite to point out
What's dripping from GNC's snout
Just a touch of the virus
From Miley Cyrus
And crippled by his throbbing gout...

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Letting it hang out in the breeze
 

Recycled1

Justified & Ancient
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Letting it hang out in the breeze
Might be OK 'til you sneeze
 

IamSundog

Not insane
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Letting it hang out in the breeze
Might be OK 'til you sneeze
The muscle contraction
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
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Letting it hang out in the breeze
Might be OK 'til you sneeze
The muscle contraction
Drives you to distraction
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
Joined
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Location
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Letting it hang out in the breeze
Might be OK 'til you sneeze
The muscle contraction
Drives you to distraction
And will rudely disrupt your striptease.

My new job's all capers and frolics
 

Tigerhawk

Dazed and confused...
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My new job's all capers and frolics
But when folk start talking bollocks
 

IamSundog

Not insane
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My new job's all capers and frolics
But when folk start talking bollocks
I feel it’s my duty
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
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My new job's all capers and frolics
But when folk start talking bollocks
I feel it’s my duty
To get all disputey
 

INT21

Gone But Not Forgotten
(ACCOUNT RETIRED)
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My new job's all capers and frolics
But when folk start talking bollocks
I feel it’s my duty
To get all disputey
but avoid fights with old alcoholics.

But one day I may lose my rag
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
Joined
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Location
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But one day I may lose my rag
And call someone a ratbag
 

GNC

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But one day I may lose my rag
And call someone a ratbag
Though my language is strong
 

INT21

Gone But Not Forgotten
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But one day I may lose my rag
And call someone a ratbag
Though my language is strong
And I sometimes go on
 

IamSundog

Not insane
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But one day I may lose my rag
And call someone a ratbag
Though my language is strong
And I sometimes go on
I win more disputes dressed in drag


Damn! I’ve caught my thing in my zipper
 

Tigerhawk

Dazed and confused...
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Damn! I’ve caught my thing in my zipper
While distracted by a kipper
 

INT21

Gone But Not Forgotten
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Damn! I’ve caught my thing in my zipper
While distracted by a kipper
it made my eyes water
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
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Damn! I’ve caught my thing in my zipper
While distracted by a kipper
it made my eyes water
And now my pet otter
 

INT21

Gone But Not Forgotten
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Damn! I’ve caught my thing in my zipper
While distracted by a kipper
it made my eyes water
And now my pet otter
is playing me tunes from Cole Porter.

But I'm sure when the blisters have gone
 

IamSundog

Not insane
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But I'm sure when the blisters have gone
I’ll be able to put some pants on
 
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