Limericks

[Tigerhawk]

So, how does a threesome strike you?
I'd have to be certain I like you
Or it'll be a onesome
With Mr Johnson

 

[Dinobot]

So, how does a threesome strike you?
I'd have to be certain I like you
Or it'll be a onesome
With Mr Johnson
While listening to Betty Boo

__________________________________________________

Look out! It's MechaGodzilla!

 

[GNC]

Look out! It's MechaGodzilla!
I didn't think he'd be so vanilla

 

[Recycled1]

Look out! It's MechaGodzilla!
I didn't think he'd be so vanilla
He'll darken with rust!

 

[Dinobot]

Look out! It's MechaGodzilla!
I didn't think he'd be so vanilla
He'll darken with rust!
With his mega lust

 

[IamSundog]

Look out! It's MechaGodzilla!
I didn't think he'd be so vanilla
He'll darken with rust!
With his mega lust
He’d like you to dress like a gorilla


I didn’t know the gun was loaded

 

[Dinobot]

I didn’t know the gun was loaded
But I was certainly goaded

 

[GNC]

I didn’t know the gun was loaded
But I was certainly goaded
And these water pistols

 

[escargot]

didn’t know the gun was loaded
But I was certainly goaded
And these water pistols
Spraying on my Bristols crystals

 

[Dinobot]

I didn’t know the gun was loaded
But I was certainly goaded
And these water pistols
Spraying on my Bristols crystals
A Freudian mess to be decoded!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Wait, you want to put glitter where?!

 

[IamSundog]

Wait, you want to put glitter where?!
On the nipples of Fred Astaire??!?

 

[Dinobot]

Wait, you want to put glitter where?!
On the nipples of Fred Astaire??!?
Bit late, isn't it?

 

[GNC]

Wait, you want to put glitter where?!
On the nipples of Fred Astaire??!?
Bit late, isn't it?
You could try Brad Pitt

 

[Dinobot]

Wait, you want to put glitter where?!
On the nipples of Fred Astaire??!?
Bit late, isn't it?
You could try Brad Pitt
He's thoroughly devoid of hair!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A disturbing mental image!

 

[IamSundog]

A disturbing mental image!
Is Dinobot’s pubic trimmage

 

[Recycled1]

A disturbing mental image!
Is Dinobot’s pubic trimmage
And the use of that dye.......!

 

[Dinobot]

A disturbing mental image!
Is Dinobot’s pubic trimmage
And the use of that dye.......!
It offends the eye!

 

[escargot]

A disturbing mental image!
Is Dinobot’s pubic trimmage
And the use of that dye.......!
It offends the eye!
But adds a small thrill to the scrimmage!

While out cycling au naturel

 

[GNC]

While out cycling au naturel
I was forced to try ringing my bell

 

[IamSundog]

While out cycling au naturel
I was forced to try ringing my bell
When a stray dog did block

 

[Tigerhawk]

While out cycling au naturel
I was forced to try ringing my bell
When a stray dog did block
To my utter shock

 

[Recycled1]

While out cycling au naturel
I was forced to try ringing my bell
When a stray dog did block,
To my utter shock,
The wheelies I always do well.

........................................................................

Some strange seeds have arrived in the post

 

[Tigerhawk]

Some strange seeds have arrived in the post
But not the ones I wanted most

 

[IamSundog]

Some strange seeds have arrived in the post
But not the ones I wanted most;
Giant Venus Fly-Traps

 

[GNC]

Some strange seeds have arrived in the post
But not the ones I wanted most;
Giant Venus Fly-Traps
Don't help with my naps

 

[IamSundog]

Some strange seeds have arrived in the post
But not the ones I wanted most;
Giant Venus Fly-Traps
Don't help with my naps
Cuz they leave me with many a ghost


NO!! I’ve told you! You have the wrong number!

 

[Tigerhawk]

NO!! I’ve told you! You have the wrong number!
Besides, I am not that limber!

 

[GNC]

NO!! I’ve told you! You have the wrong number!
Besides, I am not that limber!
All these cold calls

 

[Dinobot]

NO!! I’ve told you! You have the wrong number!
Besides, I am not that limber!
All these cold calls
For Debutante Balls

 

[Dinobot]

NO!! I’ve told you! You have the wrong number!
Besides, I am not that limber!
All these cold calls
For Debutante Balls
With Jack and his great big lumber!

==============================

Look out! He's got a loaded pun!