Limericks

[IamSundog]

I've found a new use for old pants
Wave them about during my rants
About how we've hit the skids
While being fed to giant squids

 

[IamSundog]

I've found a new use for old pants
Wave them about during my rants
About how we've hit the skids
While being fed to giant squids
That are daily imported from France


Hop in for a ride in my hearse

 

[escargot]

Hop in for a ride in my hearse
Squeeze up with the other frotteurs

 

[Peripart]

Hop in for a ride in my hearse
Squeeze up with the other frotteurs
We'll rub along well

 

[Tigerhawk]

Hop in for a ride in my hearse
Squeeze up with the other frotteurs
We'll rub along well
In this "Show And Tell"

 

[escargot]

Hunt Emerson or Robert Crumb could illustrate this.

 

[Peripart]

Hop in for a ride in my hearse
Squeeze up with the other frotteurs
We'll rub along well
In this "Show And Tell"
There's a stiff in the back - could be worse!

There's innuendo, and then there's just smut

 

[feen5]

There's innuendo, and then there's just smut
Said Escargot with a very loud Tut

 

[Tigerhawk]

There's innuendo, and then there's just smut
Said Escargot with a very loud Tut
"Please don't let it stop!"

 

[GNC]

There's innuendo, and then there's just smut
Said Escargot with a very loud Tut
"Please don't let it stop!"
Someone fetch a mop

 

[Tigerhawk]

There's innuendo, and then there's just smut
Said Escargot with a very loud Tut
"Please don't let it stop!"
Someone fetch a mop
I don't like being in a rut.

===================================================


That took an unexpected turn

 

[IamSundog]

That took an unexpected turn
As the angry mob gathers to burn

 

[Tigerhawk]

That took an unexpected turn
As the angry mob gathers to burn
This here big Yule Log

 

[GNC]

That took an unexpected turn
As the angry mob gathers to burn
This here big Yule Log
With respect to King Zog

 

[IamSundog]

That took an unexpected turn
As the angry mob gathers to burn
This here big Yule Log
With respect to King Zog
For whose tender caress we all yearn


I can’t wait to climb into bed

 

[feen5]

I can’t wait to climb into bed
Said Scargy on the night she was wed

 

[Dinobot]

I can’t wait to climb into bed
Said Scargy on the night she was wed
With much bemusement

 

[GNC]

I can’t wait to climb into bed
Said Scargy on the night she was wed
With much bemusement
We have no amusement

 

[Dinobot]

I can’t wait to climb into bed
Said Scargy on the night she was wed
With much bemusement
We have no amusement
As we listen to Simply Red.

===========================================================

It's almost Christmas? Brace for impact!

 

[GNC]

It's almost Christmas? Brace for impact!
Sorry, it's been cancelled in fact

 

[IamSundog]

It's almost Christmas? Brace for impact!
Sorry, it's been cancelled in fact
Take your holly and shove it

 

[Dinobot]

It's almost Christmas? Brace for impact!
Sorry, it's been cancelled in fact
Take your holly and shove it
That door - above it!

 

[IamSundog]

It's almost Christmas? Brace for impact!
Sorry, it's been cancelled in fact
Take your holly and shove it
That door - above it!
Disinvite all your family - with tact


I’d like to greet the season with cheer

 

[escargot]

I’d like to greet the season with cheer
Swinging naked from this chandelier

 

[Tigerhawk]

I’d like to greet the season with cheer
Swinging naked from this chandelier
Good time had by all!

 

[GNC]

I’d like to greet the season with cheer
Swinging naked from this chandelier
Good time had by all!
But the inevitable fall

 

[IamSundog]

I’d like to greet the season with cheer
Swinging naked from this chandelier
Good time had by all!
But the inevitable fall
Will end with a candle up my rear


‘Twas an accident, Doctor! I swear!

 

[Peripart]

‘Twas an accident, Doctor! I swear!
I've no idea how it got there

 

[Tigerhawk]

‘Twas an accident, Doctor! I swear!
I've no idea how it got there
Suddenly aflame

 

[GNC]

‘Twas an accident, Doctor! I swear!
I've no idea how it got there
Suddenly aflame
Nobody to blame