Limericks

IamSundog

Not insane
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‘Twas an accident, Doctor! I swear!
I've no idea how it got there
Suddenly aflame
Nobody to blame
But the wax is all stuck in my hair


I’m hanging lights, up on a ladder
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
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I’m hanging lights, up on a ladder
It's more fun when you have a full bladder
Most important is this:
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
Joined
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HM The Tower of London
(I’m hanging lights, up on a ladder
It's more fun when you have a full bladder
'cos then you're ensurin')
:evillaugh:
 

Dinobot

Justified & Ancient
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Broadcasting from the moon...
I’m hanging lights, up on a ladder
It's more fun when you have a full bladder
Most important is this:
Make sure you don't, miss
 

feen5

Justified & Ancient
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I’m hanging lights, up on a ladder
It's more fun when you have a full bladder
Most important is this:
Make sure you don't, miss
when you empty yourself to be gladder

(I’m hanging lights, up on a ladder
It's more fun when you have a full bladder
'cos then you're ensurin'
The strength of your urine)

It's important when having a piss
 

IamSundog

Not insane
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I’m hanging lights, up on a ladder
It's more fun when you have a full bladder
'cos then you're ensurin'
The strength of your urine
As the height quite enhances the splatter


It's important when having a piss
To take aim at the Germans and Swiss
 

Tigerhawk

Dazed and confused...
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It's important when having a piss
To take aim at the Germans and Swiss
Ever so vulgar
 

Peripart

Antediluvian
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It's important when having a piss
To take aim at the Germans and Swiss
Ever so vulgar
Just like a Bulgar!


(Yes, probably a touch xenophobic if taken seriously, but you try finding another rhyme for "vulgar")
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
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Location
HM The Tower of London
It's important when having a piss
To take aim at the Germans and Swiss
Ever so vulgar
Just like a Bulgar!
Let rip with that sweet yellow kiss!

So Bob Dylan has sold all his songs
 

GNC

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So Bob Dylan has sold all his songs
To spend millions collecting new thongs
 

Tigerhawk

Dazed and confused...
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So Bob Dylan has sold all his songs
To spend millions collecting new thongs
Lacey and racy!
 

IamSundog

Not insane
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So Bob Dylan has sold all his songs
To spend millions collecting new thongs
Lacey and racy!
Pimped with high voltage AC
 

Dinobot

Justified & Ancient
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Broadcasting from the moon...
So Bob Dylan has sold all his songs
To spend millions collecting new thongs
Lacey and racy!
Pimped with high voltage AC
Now he's out all night, righting wrongs!

=================================================

Say, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?
 

GNC

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Say, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?
My usual reindeers had such a fright
 

IamSundog

Not insane
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Say, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?
My usual reindeers had such a fright
When a strange UFO
 

IamSundog

Not insane
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Say, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?
My usual reindeers had such a fright
When a strange UFO
Gave a luster of midday to objects below
 

IamSundog

Not insane
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Say, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?
My usual reindeers had such a fright
When a strange UFO
Gave a luster of midday to objects below
And put Prancer through a probing plight

Come let’s get cozy by the fire
 

GNC

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Come let’s get cozy by the fire
Before we all start to expire
 

Peripart

Antediluvian
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Come let’s get cozy by the fire
Before we all start to expire
What a shit year we've had
 

GNC

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Come let’s get cozy by the fire
Before we all start to expire
What a shit year we've had
But if you think this is bad
 

Peripart

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Come let’s get cozy by the fire
Before we all start to expire
What a shit year we've had
But if you think this is bad
The outlook for next year is dire!

As old Nostradamus foretold
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
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HM The Tower of London
As old Nostradamus foretold
Feen's bum is a sight to behold
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
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As old Nostradamus foretold
Feen's bum is a sight to behold
Watch it rise like the Moon
 

Tigerhawk

Dazed and confused...
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As old Nostradamus foretold
Feen's bum is a sight to behold
Watch it rise like the Moon
Shriek like a baboon
 

IamSundog

Not insane
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As old Nostradamus foretold
Feen's bum is a sight to behold
Watch it rise like the Moon
Shriek like a baboon
When you realize it’s plated in gold


If a shapely behind is your thing
 

feen5

Justified & Ancient
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If a shapely behind is your thing
Or a pert puckered ring makes you sing
 

Tigerhawk

Dazed and confused...
Joined
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Location
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If a shapely behind is your thing
Or a pert puckered ring makes you sing
Avoid The Brown Note!
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
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If a shapely behind is your thing
Or a pert puckered ring makes you sing
Avoid The Brown Note!
I suppose you can gloat
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
Joined
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Messages
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Location
HM The Tower of London
If a shapely behind is your thing
Or a pert puckered ring makes you sing
Avoid The Brown Note!
I suppose you can gloat
When it plays and Peri's bum-cheeks go Ping!

When I looked up the chimney last night
 
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