Limericks

GNC

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When I looked up the chimney last night
I was dismayed not to see the twilight
 

IamSundog

Not insane
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When I looked up the chimney last night
I was dismayed not to see the twilight
Instead, Santa’s fat ass
 

Peripart

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When I looked up the chimney last night
I was dismayed not to see the twilight
Instead, Santa’s fat ass
Emitting foul gas
 

IamSundog

Not insane
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When I looked up the chimney last night
I was dismayed not to see the twilight
Instead, Santa’s fat ass
Emitting foul gas
Was looking back, jammed in there tight


I’ve just about finished gift wrapping
 

Dinobot

Justified & Ancient
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Broadcasting from the moon...
I’ve just about finished gift wrapping
A fit young man who is strapping
 

GNC

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I’ve just about finished gift wrapping
A fit young man who is strapping
On a device
 

Dinobot

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Broadcasting from the moon...
I’ve just about finished gift wrapping
A fit young man who is strapping
On a device
Designed to entice
 

Dinobot

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There was a young man from punt
Whose mode of discourse was blunt.
Shoot straight from the hip
 

feen5

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I’ve just about finished gift wrapping
A fit young man who is strapping
On a device
Designed to entice
Now time to give him a good slapping

There was a young man from punt
Whose mode of discourse was blunt.
Shoot straight from the hip
Always giving Lip
 

IamSundog

Not insane
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There was a young man from punt
Whose mode of discourse was blunt.
Shoot straight from the hip
Always giving Lip
So was widely considered a c***


I’m very accomplished at napping
 

GNC

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I’m very accomplished at napping
Between hedges that there is a gap in
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
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I’m very accomplished at napping
Between hedges that there is a gap in
In the 'bike rack' position
 

feen5

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I’m very accomplished at napping
Between hedges that there is a gap in
In the 'bike rack' position
I lay in submission
 

Peripart

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I’m very accomplished at napping
Between hedges that there is a gap in
In the 'bike rack' position
I lay in submission
Waiting for something to happen

The best way of falling asleep
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
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The best way of falling asleep
When your waterproof pants start to seep
 

GNC

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The best way of falling asleep
When your waterproof pants start to seep
Pretend you're out at sea
 

IamSundog

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The best way of falling asleep
When your waterproof pants start to seep
Pretend you're out at sea
Then let loose and pee
 

Peripart

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The best way of falling asleep
When your waterproof pants start to seep
Pretend you're out at sea
Then let loose and pee
And if that fails, then try counting sheep!

I've spent this week carving a totem
 

IamSundog

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I've spent this week carving a totem
Even though, where I live, it’s verboten
 

feen5

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I've spent this week carving a totem
Even though, where I live, it’s verboten
to use pubic hair
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
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I've spent this week carving a totem
Even though, where I live, it’s verboten
to use pubic hair
When it's still growing there
 

GNC

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I've spent this week carving a totem
Even though, where I live, it’s verboten
to use pubic hair
When it's still growing there
I'm sure this torpedo's a photon.

***

This gymnasium, it helps me to train
 

Dinobot

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Broadcasting from the moon...
This gymnasium, it helps me to train
My mighty and throbbing man brain
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
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This gymnasium, it helps me to train
My mighty and throbbing man brain
Which I keep in a jar
 

Peripart

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This gymnasium, it helps me to train
My mighty and throbbing man brain
Which I keep in a jar
In the boot of my car
 

IamSundog

Not insane
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This gymnasium, it helps me to train
My mighty and throbbing man brain
Which I keep in a jar
In the boot of my car
But use it? Too much of a strain

My awesome cerebral cortex
 

Peripart

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My awesome cerebral cortex
Can create its own temporal vortex
 
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