Limericks

IamSundog

Not insane
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Is it me, or is it hot in here?
Hell certainly has an atmosphere!
That sulphurous stench
From that old bar wench
Leaves a sour aftertaste in one’s beer

My most morbid preoccupation
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
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My most morbid preoccupation
(after necrophilia-inspired masturbation)
Was it your conscience?
 

Dinobot

Justified & Ancient
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My most morbid preoccupation
(after necrophilia-inspired masturbation)
Was it your conscience?
Soul Deliverance
 

Dinobot

Justified & Ancient
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My most morbid preoccupation
(after necrophilia-inspired masturbation)
Was it your conscience?
Soul Deliverance
Which gives you emancipation.

===================================================

Unleashed a strange, tentacled "thing"?
 

IamSundog

Not insane
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Unleashed a strange, tentacled "thing"?
It’s snatching children, on the wing
 

Tigerhawk

Dazed and confused...
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Unleashed a strange, tentacled "thing"?
It’s snatching children, on the wing
Normal for Cromer
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
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Unleashed a strange, tentacled "thing"?
It’s snatching children, on the wing
Normal for Cromer
And mentioned by Homer
 

feen5

Justified & Ancient
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Unleashed a strange, tentacled "thing"?
It’s snatching children, on the wing
Normal for Cromer
And mentioned by Homer
It would not make a suitable plaything

When choosing a pet for a child
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
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When choosing a pet for a child
Don't go looking for one in the wild
 

Peripart

Antediluvian
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When choosing a pet for a child
Don't go looking for one in the wild
'Cos a ferret or fox
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
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HM The Tower of London
When choosing a pet for a child
Don't go looking for one in the wild
'Cos a ferret or fox
Won't use the litter box
 

Tigerhawk

Dazed and confused...
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When choosing a pet for a child
Don't go looking for one in the wild
'Cos a ferret or fox
Won't use the litter box
And the result won't be mild!

==========================================

Restrictions eased - looking for fun?
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
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Restrictions eased - looking for fun?
I'll crack out the whaling gun!
 

IamSundog

Not insane
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Restrictions eased - looking for fun?
I'll crack out the whaling gun!
Rock out with Ahab!
 

ChasFink

Abominable Snowman
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Restrictions eased - looking for fun?
I'll crack out the whaling gun!
Rock out with Ahab!
And fire! A whale jab!
 

Peripart

Antediluvian
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Restrictions eased - looking for fun?
I'll crack out the whaling gun!
Rock out with Ahab!
And fire! A whale jab!
Oh heck, it's Greenpeace - must run!

A fisherman's life's not for me
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
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A fisherman's life's not for me
I turn green if I look at the sea
 

ChasFink

Abominable Snowman
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A fisherman's life's not for me
I turn green if I look at the sea
And the sickening motion
 

Tigerhawk

Dazed and confused...
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A fisherman's life's not for me
I turn green if I look at the sea
And the sickening motion
From that love potion
 

Dinobot

Justified & Ancient
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Broadcasting from the moon...
A fisherman's life's not for me
I turn green if I look at the sea
And the sickening motion
From that love potion
Has robbed me of my girlish glee.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If told "You're a wizard, Harry"
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
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If told "You're a wizard, Harry"
By Frank Bruno, then, probably
 

Dinobot

Justified & Ancient
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If told "You're a wizard, Harry"
By Frank Bruno, then, probably
Curse the bugger, hard!
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
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If told "You're a wizard, Harry"
By Frank Bruno, then, probably
Curse the bugger, hard!
An' 'e'll cry 'cos 'e's marred
 

Maahi Dayani

Fresh Blood
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I knew an old woman from Ealing
who had a very peculiar feeling
The sign on the door
said not to spit on the floor
so she looked up and spat on the ceiling
 

feen5

Justified & Ancient
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If told "You're a wizard, Harry"
By Frank Bruno, then, probably
Curse the bugger, hard!
An' 'e'll cry 'cos 'e's marred
he's not a formidable adversary

Some rhymes can be rather taxing
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
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Some rhymes can be rather taxing
So let's try something far more relaxing
 

Dinobot

Justified & Ancient
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Some rhymes can be rather taxing
So let's try something far more relaxing
Like taxidermy!
 

ChasFink

Abominable Snowman
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Some rhymes can be rather taxing
So let's try something far more relaxing
Like taxidermy!
(If it won't make you squirmy.)
 
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