Limericks

[IamSundog]

Some rhymes can be rather taxing
So let's try something far more relaxing
Like taxidermy!
(If it won't make you squirmy.)
It’d be one way to make that damned cat sing


If you would, kindly reach in my pocket

 

[MercuryCrest]

If you would, kindly reach in my pocket

You might, in fact, pull out a locket.

 

[GNC]

If you would, kindly reach in my pocket
You might, in fact, pull out a locket.
Though you would feel sick

 

[Tigerhawk]

If you would, kindly reach in my pocket
You might, in fact, pull out a locket.
Though you would feel sick
It's jolly Saint Nick!

 

[ChasFink]

If you would, kindly reach in my pocket
You might, in fact, pull out a locket.
Though you would feel sick
It's jolly Saint Nick!
So if you love Christmas don't knock it!

I don't know why I'm so moody.

 

[IamSundog]

I don't know why I'm so moody
When endowed with a big luscious booty

 

[Dinobot]

I don't know why I'm so moody
When endowed with a big luscious booty
Playing classic tunes

 

[escargot]

I don't know why I'm so moody
When endowed with a big luscious booty
Playing classic tunes
While @IamSundog moons

 

[GNC]

I don't know why I'm so moody
When endowed with a big luscious booty
Playing classic tunes
While @IamSundog moons
I feel it's his right Royal duty.

***


That last job interview went so badly

 

[escargot]

That last job interview went so badly
It's a shame, 'cos I would have gladly

 

[Dinobot]

That last job interview went so badly
It's a shame, 'cos I would have gladly
Put on my trousers

 

[ChasFink]

That last job interview went so badly
It's a shame, 'cos I would have gladly
Put on my trousers
and played with the schnauzers

 

[IamSundog]

That last job interview went so badly
It's a shame, 'cos I would have gladly
Put on my trousers
and played with the schnauzers
Poking them till they’re snarling madly


Avoid eye contact when you see me

 

[escargot]

Avoid eye contact when you see me
Yes, I know I smell just like sashimi

 

[GNC]

Avoid eye contact when you see me
Yes, I know I smell just like sashimi
A wondrous aroma

 

[Dinobot]

Avoid eye contact when you see me
Yes, I know I smell just like sashimi
A wondrous aroma
Akin to Cromer

 

[IamSundog]

Avoid eye contact when you see me
Yes, I know I smell just like sashimi
A wondrous aroma
Akin to Cromer
It kindles romance hot and steamy

Oh to be seventeen once again!

 

[Peripart]

Oh to be seventeen once again!
(Though learning to drive was a pain)

 

[ChasFink]

Oh to be seventeen once again!
Like a rooster seeking a hen.

 

[escargot]

Oh to be seventeen once again!
Like a rooster seeking a hen.
A love sealed with pecks

 

[Peripart]

Oh to be seventeen once again!
Like a rooster seeking a hen.
A love sealed with pecks
(And a hand down your kecks)

 

[GNC]

Oh to be seventeen once again!
Like a rooster seeking a hen.
A love sealed with pecks
(And a hand down your kecks)
Less a rooster - more of a wren.

***

I've discovered some dinosaur bones

 

[ChasFink]

I've discovered some dinosaur bones
Covered in strange pheromones

 

[IamSundog]

I've discovered some dinosaur bones
Covered in strange pheromones
That no man can resist

 

[Dinobot]

I've discovered some dinosaur bones
Covered in strange pheromones
That no man can resist
If symptoms persist

 

[escargot]

I've discovered some dinosaur bones
Covered in strange pheromones
That no man can resist
If symptoms persist
He's secreting the wrong sex hormones!

Let us talk about matters endocrine

 

[feen5]

Let us talk about matters endocrine
And the secretions I keep in this shrine

 

[IamSundog]

Let us talk about matters endocrine
And the secretions I keep in this shrine
Though they stink something fierce

 

[Dinobot]

Let us talk about matters endocrine
And the secretions I keep in this shrine
Though they stink something fierce
Cupid's arrow did pierce

 

[GNC]

Let us talk about matters endocrine
And the secretions I keep in this shrine
Though they stink something fierce
Cupid's arrow did pierce
Neither your heart nor mine.

***

As the machines start their domination