Limericks

IamSundog

Not insane
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Some rhymes can be rather taxing
So let's try something far more relaxing
Like taxidermy!
(If it won't make you squirmy.)
It’d be one way to make that damned cat sing


If you would, kindly reach in my pocket
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
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If you would, kindly reach in my pocket
You might, in fact, pull out a locket.
Though you would feel sick
 

Tigerhawk

Dazed and confused...
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If you would, kindly reach in my pocket
You might, in fact, pull out a locket.
Though you would feel sick
It's jolly Saint Nick!
 

ChasFink

Abominable Snowman
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If you would, kindly reach in my pocket
You might, in fact, pull out a locket.
Though you would feel sick
It's jolly Saint Nick!
So if you love Christmas don't knock it!

I don't know why I'm so moody.
 

IamSundog

Not insane
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I don't know why I'm so moody
When endowed with a big luscious booty
 

Dinobot

Justified & Ancient
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I don't know why I'm so moody
When endowed with a big luscious booty
Playing classic tunes
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
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I don't know why I'm so moody
When endowed with a big luscious booty
Playing classic tunes
While @IamSundog moons
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
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I don't know why I'm so moody
When endowed with a big luscious booty
Playing classic tunes
While @IamSundog moons
I feel it's his right Royal duty.

***


That last job interview went so badly
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
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That last job interview went so badly
It's a shame, 'cos I would have gladly
 

Dinobot

Justified & Ancient
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That last job interview went so badly
It's a shame, 'cos I would have gladly
Put on my trousers
 

ChasFink

Abominable Snowman
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That last job interview went so badly
It's a shame, 'cos I would have gladly
Put on my trousers
and played with the schnauzers
 

IamSundog

Not insane
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That last job interview went so badly
It's a shame, 'cos I would have gladly
Put on my trousers
and played with the schnauzers
Poking them till they’re snarling madly


Avoid eye contact when you see me
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
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Avoid eye contact when you see me
Yes, I know I smell just like sashimi
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
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Avoid eye contact when you see me
Yes, I know I smell just like sashimi
A wondrous aroma
 

Dinobot

Justified & Ancient
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Broadcasting from the moon...
Avoid eye contact when you see me
Yes, I know I smell just like sashimi
A wondrous aroma
Akin to Cromer
 

IamSundog

Not insane
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Avoid eye contact when you see me
Yes, I know I smell just like sashimi
A wondrous aroma
Akin to Cromer
It kindles romance hot and steamy

Oh to be seventeen once again!
 

Peripart

Antediluvian
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Oh to be seventeen once again!
(Though learning to drive was a pain)
 

ChasFink

Abominable Snowman
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Oh to be seventeen once again!
Like a rooster seeking a hen.
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
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Oh to be seventeen once again!
Like a rooster seeking a hen.
A love sealed with pecks
 

Peripart

Antediluvian
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Oh to be seventeen once again!
Like a rooster seeking a hen.
A love sealed with pecks
(And a hand down your kecks)
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
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Oh to be seventeen once again!
Like a rooster seeking a hen.
A love sealed with pecks
(And a hand down your kecks)
Less a rooster - more of a wren.

***

I've discovered some dinosaur bones
 

ChasFink

Abominable Snowman
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I've discovered some dinosaur bones
Covered in strange pheromones
 

IamSundog

Not insane
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I've discovered some dinosaur bones
Covered in strange pheromones
That no man can resist
 

Dinobot

Justified & Ancient
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I've discovered some dinosaur bones
Covered in strange pheromones
That no man can resist
If symptoms persist
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
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I've discovered some dinosaur bones
Covered in strange pheromones
That no man can resist
If symptoms persist
He's secreting the wrong sex hormones!

Let us talk about matters endocrine
 

feen5

Justified & Ancient
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Let us talk about matters endocrine
And the secretions I keep in this shrine
 

IamSundog

Not insane
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Let us talk about matters endocrine
And the secretions I keep in this shrine
Though they stink something fierce
 

Dinobot

Justified & Ancient
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Broadcasting from the moon...
Let us talk about matters endocrine
And the secretions I keep in this shrine
Though they stink something fierce
Cupid's arrow did pierce
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
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Let us talk about matters endocrine
And the secretions I keep in this shrine
Though they stink something fierce
Cupid's arrow did pierce
Neither your heart nor mine.

***

As the machines start their domination
 
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