Limericks

Tigerhawk

Dazed and confused...
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All I can hear is the snickers
When I swear I can hold my liquors
Then I fall on the floor
For all to adore
 

Souleater

I'm not a cat
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All I can hear is the snickers
When I swear I can hold my liquors
Then I fall on the floor
For all to adore
An flash everybody my knickers


I find when buying underwear
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
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I find when buying underwear
The reason that people all stare
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
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I find when buying underwear
The reason that people all stare
Is not that they're rude
 

ChasFink

Abominable Snowman
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I find when buying underwear
The reason that people all stare
Is not that they're rude
It's because I'm a dude
 

Souleater

I'm not a cat
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I find when buying underwear
The reason that people all stare
Is not that they're rude
It's because I'm a dude
And i get my fashion tips from 'Marie Claire'


I once met a girl from Paris
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
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I once met a girl from Paris
Who kicked me well 'ard up the 'arris
 

ChasFink

Abominable Snowman
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I once met a girl from Paris
Who kicked me well 'ard up the 'arris
She said "Ooh la la"
 

IamSundog

Not insane
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I once met a girl from Paris
Who kicked me well 'ard up the 'arris
She said "Ooh la la"
“Help me unhook zees bra”
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
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I once met a girl from Paris
Who kicked me well 'ard up the 'arris
She said "Ooh la la"
“Help me unhook zees bra”
I said, "Wait - you're Father Karras!"

***

If I planned a new exorcism
 

feen5

Justified & Ancient
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If I planned a new exorcism
With full on neoclassicism
I'd require a Toga
 

Peripart

Antediluvian
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If I planned a new exorcism
With full on neoclassicism
I'd require a Toga
And knowledge of yoga
 

Tigerhawk

Dazed and confused...
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If I planned a new exorcism
With full on neoclassicism
I'd require a togs
And knowledge of yoga
A new strain of eroticism!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Feeling hot under the collar?
 

Souleater

I'm not a cat
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Feeling hot under the collar?
And no sign of your trusty punkahwallah?
 

GNC

King-Sized Canary
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Feeling hot under the collar?
And no sign of your trusty punkahwallah?
Then try and be cool
 

Peripart

Antediluvian
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Feeling hot under the collar?
And no sign of your trusty punkahwallah?
Then try and be cool
And mop up that drool
 

ChasFink

Abominable Snowman
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Feeling hot under the collar?
And no sign of your trusty punkahwallah?
Then try and be cool
And mop up that drool
And telephone your AC installer

-----
Dogs don't really sweat, but they pant
 

Souleater

I'm not a cat
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Dogs don't really sweat, but they pant
And cats never complain but they rant
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
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Dogs don't really sweat, but they pant
And cats never complain but they rant
But GNC's pet piranhas
 

Tigerhawk

Dazed and confused...
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Dogs don't really sweat, they pant
And cats never complain, but they rant
But GNC's piranhas
Long for the Bahamas
 

feen5

Justified & Ancient
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Dogs don't really sweat, they pant
And cats never complain, but they rant
But GNC's piranhas
Long for the Bahamas
They would fly if they could but they can't

While sitting alone on some coral
 

Tigerhawk

Dazed and confused...
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While sitting alone on some coral
I did something rather floral
 

IamSundog

Not insane
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While sitting alone on some coral
I did something rather floral
I opened my petals
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
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While sitting alone on some coral
I did something rather floral
I opened my petals
Rubbed them down with some nettles
 

Tigerhawk

Dazed and confused...
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While sitting alone on some coral
I did something rather floral
I opened my petals
Rubbed them down with some nettles
Then, danced around quite immoral!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

So, how about these gyrations?
 

IamSundog

Not insane
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So, how about these gyrations?
I learned them from 101 Dalmatians
I thank that big Pongo
For playing his bongos
 

ChasFink

Abominable Snowman
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So, how about these gyrations?
I learned them from 101 Dalmatians
I thank that big Pongo
For playing his bongos
Though he's to blame for these flea infestations


My iguana is my lifelong pal
 
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