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Man who had sex with bike in court

maximus otter

maximus otter

Recovering policeman
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A man has been placed on the sex offenders’ register after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle.

Robert Stewart was discovered in his room by two cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr, south west Scotland, in October last year.

On Wednesday Mr Stewart admitted to sexual breach of the peace in Ayr Sheriff Court, where depute fiscal Gail Davidson described how he had been found by the hostel workers.

She said: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

Both witnesses, who were extremely shocked, notified the hotel manager, who in turn alerted the police.

Mr Stewart was placed on the sex offenders’ register but his sentence was deferred until next month.

He is not the first man to be convicted of a sexual offence involving an inanimate object, however.

Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jh ... tviewedbox

maximus "I love my Trek 1500, but I don't love my Trek 1500" otter
 
That's what I call a victimless crime.

Intimacy with a bicycle? Going by that, if someone gets caught abusing themselves over some dirty magazines, that would appear to be a criminal offence that could get them put on the Sex Offenders Register, too. :shock:
 
Might have been ok if he was just using the pump...or maybe not. :)
 
That's what I call a victimless crime.
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or not even a crime at all, if it was his own bicycle?

still not too nice for the people finding him... but putting him on the sex offenders register? wtf?
 
Puts a whole new spin on that Queen Song:

Bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my
Bicycle races are coming your way
So forget all your duties oh yeah
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A bit off for the people who walked in on him but he was doing it in private, and I'm sure cleaners have walked in on people having a quick sherman before this.

A bit weird, but I don't see how he belongs on the sex offenders register.
 
So he wasn't pumping the bike in a courtroom as the thread title suggests.

Odd decision, can't help but think there may be more to the story.
 
theyithian said:
...can't help but think there may be more to the story.
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Wheels within wheels, is that what you're saying?

As Timble says, it can't be the first time someone been caught playing with his Chopper!
 
Peripart said:
theyithian said:
...can't help but think there may be more to the story.
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Wheels within wheels, is that what you're saying?
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I'm just saying more information may give us more of a handle on the tale.
 
The charge alleges he conducted himself in a disorderly manner, simulated sex with a bicycle and continued to do so while naked from the waist down in the presence of two female employees.


Stewart had been living in the Aberley House hostel from October 2006 after moving from his council house in Girvan, Ayrshire.

He moved after a separate sex complaint to which he has pleaded not guilty at Ayr Sheriff Court.
 
I think somebody needs to be pumped for more information.

;)
 
I seem to remember there used to be a thread about sex with inanimate objects, including someone who was in love with the berlin wall and set up an internet shrine to it - am I imagining it?
 
I once dreamed that I had sex with an old Royal Standard manual typewriter. Was that legal?

oh i see - just in the united states
 
OldTimeRadio said:
I once dreamed that I had sex with an old Royal Standard manual typewriter. Was that legal?

oh i see - just in the united states
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I think that whooshing sound I just heard was that joke going over my head!

Still, we shouldn't really joke about this story. That poor man is going to be saddled with this for years to come.
 
Anyone know tell me how anyone can have sex with a bike?????? :shock: :lol:
 
That is a terrible joke lol lol but I laughed anyway!!! :lol:
 
Wonder if it was a Chopper?

Natalie108 said:
Anyone know tell me how anyone can have sex with a bike?????? :shock: :lol:
Click to expand...

The mind boggles, doesn't it? It's a bit like the aforementioned Karl Watkins, nicked for shagging an underpass (which for some reason brings Gareth Gates and Jordan to mind...)
 
Mention of Karl Watkins made me Google his story and I came (ahem) upon this page:

Weirdsex

Here is one I hadn't heard before:

"FIRE FIGHTERS were called to a house in Knoxville, Tennessee, in April 1995 when neighbours smelled something burning. There they found the nude body of a 16-year-old boy and called in police. Confronted with posters of heavy-metal rock groups and a cow's heart attached to the boy's genitals, they at first thought they were dealing with a ritual murder. However, they then found several underground pornographic magazines under the boy's bed, one of which, Ovid Now, described a 'sex-toy' that could be made from the fresh heart of a cow, a simple electrical circuit and some batteries. The dead heart is made to beat, and then used sexually in a perversion which is apparently gaining popularity in the rural South. The trouble was, the boy had wired up the heart and plugged it into the wall-socket. He died of electrocution, and the electricity had then cooked his remains."

Maybe this ought to go in the Weird Sex Thread. :shock:
 
That's about as Frankenstein Sex as I can imagine.

When I first starting reading the above I believed I'd previously come across the case, but I hadn't.

The one I do remember involved a 15-year-old boy, also in the United States. He managed to hang himself naked by his wrists (not impossible, obviously), with two wires from the electric mains taped to his nipples - plus some sort of arrangement to switch on the current with his feet.

It killed him almost instantly.

The original verdict was suicide but wiser heads prevailed.
 
Going back to the original story, perhaps someone told this lad that pumping iron was a great way to improve his physical health, but he completely misunderstood?
 
Perhaps he's bikesexual, or maybe just bike-curious...
 
Whatever the case, he's clearly saddled with some terrible predisposition.
 
I only hope they get psychological counselling for the bike. It may never trust a rider again.
 
He'll be cross. Barred from all the local hotels, i'd guess.
 
glamour_dust said:
I only hope they get psychological counselling for the bike.
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They may prescribe it sedatives or some other chemical stabiliser. Either way, it's going to be tired of the sight of doctors.

Pk, i'll stop now.
 
stuneville said:
Wonder if it was a Chopper?

Natalie108 said:
Anyone know tell me how anyone can have sex with a bike?????? :shock: :lol:
Click to expand...

The mind boggles, doesn't it? It's a bit like the aforementioned Karl Watkins, nicked for shagging an underpass (which for some reason brings Gareth Gates and Jordan to mind...)
Click to expand...


What???????????????? :_omg: :eek!!!!: :gaga: :lol: :lol:
 
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