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McDonalds Ice-Cream Machines

catseye said:
I remember some years ago being told that...err...crotch gravy...had been found in takeaways from the local Indian restaurant.

When I queried a) why was it being tested and b) what for, because that's a surprisingly specific finding and c) is it even possible to identify said substance in a sample that has been cooked - the person who told me got quite angry. I actually suspect that he'd been fed it as an urban legend and my asking logical questions threw him for a loop.

Can anyone tell me whether it actually would be possible to isolate such a sample from a curry?
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It might be possible to separate out... particulate matter that had a high count of certain bacteria.
 
GNC said:
Wait a minute... where do you wash your hands if you're an ice cream man (or woman)?
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Wash your hands? You mean they do?
 
GNC said:
Wait a minute... where do you wash your hands if you're an ice cream man (or woman)?
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That’s what the Monkey’s Blood is for.
Ice Cream Men bathe in Monkey’s Blood.
Crazed and induced into a world of hallucination, they then feel a compulsion to paint cartoon characters on the vehicle.
This explains the nightmarish knock off Disney abominations you found repulsive but overcame for a 99 without making eye contact.
 
catseye said:
I remember some years ago being told that...err...crotch gravy...had been found in takeaways from the local Indian restaurant.

When I queried a) why was it being tested and b) what for, because that's a surprisingly specific finding and c) is it even possible to identify said substance in a sample that has been cooked - the person who told me got quite angry. I actually suspect that he'd been fed it as an urban legend and my asking logical questions threw him for a loop.

Can anyone tell me whether it actually would be possible to isolate such a sample from a curry?
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It's a mostly racist urban legend that I first remember hearing in the 80's: " .. and then they tested the curry and it was found to contain ELEVEN different types of semen!!" .. you never heard this accusation about English restaurants like you also never heard that an English restaurant had an environmental health visit and then they found dead cats in the freezer. As for Chinese restaurants?, the Birmingham joke in the 80's was to say "I'd like some cream of sum yun gi" (cream of some young guy/semen).. I've worked in an Indian restaurant but not a Chinese one. I've also managed an Italian restaurant. Nobody ever has time to masturbate. I certainly didn't anyway. Unfortunately.
 
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Elizabeth Bathory was a notorious over-user of Monkey’s Blood. It was said at the time her secret of eternal youth was dependent on the daily arrival of the Ice Cream Van and she would use an agreed Ice Cream Van chime code to deliver huge quantities of the Stuff. She had noticed that Ice Cream Men never grow old. They can pass among humans with a minimal, almost unnoticed interaction. And surprisingly, very few people question the produce.
Variants of Bathory’s Delivery Code can be found here...

 
By the way I can also recommend the above to remove any unwanted guests in about 10 minutes. It’s like rodent ultrasonics. The human mind cannot cope with it for any real duration but it may be a good idea to keep this video handy. You never know.
 
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Swifty said:
It's a mostly racist urban legend that I first remember hearing in the 80's: " .. and then they tested the curry and it was found to contain ELEVEN different types of semen!!" .. you never heard this accusation about English restaurants like you also never heard that an English restaurant had an environmental health visit and then they found dead cats in the freezer. As for Chinese restaurants?, the Birmingham joke in the 80's was to say "I'd like some cream of sum yun gi" (cream of some young guy/semen).. I've worked in an Indian restaurant but not a Chinese one. I've also managed an Italian restaurant. Nobody ever has time to masturbate. I certainly didn't anyway. Unfortunately.
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I worked in a German restaurant. We smoked a lot of weed in the freezers, but so far as I know no one every masturbated. Bit chilly.
 
Themis said:
I worked in a German restaurant. We smoked a lot of weed in the freezers, but so far as I know no one every masturbated. Bit chilly.
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In the freezers? .. why the hell? and how did you get away with blazing in the freezers? ..
 
Swifty said:
It's a mostly racist urban legend that I first remember hearing in the 80's: " .. and then they tested the curry and it was found to contain ELEVEN different types of semen!!" .. you never heard this accusation about English restaurants like you also never heard that an English restaurant had an environmental health visit and then they found dead cats in the freezer. As for Chinese restaurants?, the Birmingham joke in the 80's was to say "I'd like some cream of sum yun gi" (cream of some young guy/semen).. I've worked in an Indian restaurant but not a Chinese one. I've also managed an Italian restaurant. Nobody ever has time to masturbate. I certainly didn't anyway. Unfortunately.
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Thanks, Swifty. I thought it had all the hallmarks of an urban legend, with the added racist overtones, but the guy telling me (I think he'd been given the eleven different types as well) was very bad at picking up on when he was being fed a line. I think his anger may have come from realising that he'd likely been duped. The story is ridiculous on so many levels (my friend manages a restaurant and barely has time to get a drink of water, never mind anything else in the kitchen), and I really hope the guy who told me has been repeatedly slapped down with logic.
 
Oh, and it's perfectly possible to wash your hands in an ice cream van. All it needs is a water reservoir and a foot pump and a bowl. Or even just a hand sanitiser spray.
 
Swifty said:
In the freezers? .. why the hell? and how did you get away with blazing in the freezers? ..
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Small enclosed space where the manager rarely ventured? They were far more concerned if they saw you go in the fridge where the kept all the cheesecake holding a fork. People regularly did, given all the weed.
 
Themis said:
Small enclosed space where the manager rarely ventured? They were far more concerned if they saw you go in the fridge where the kept all the cheesecake holding a fork. People regularly did, given all the weed.
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I'm guessing nitrous oxide inhalation was also sometimes happening? ..
 
Thinking of McD's, I recall a tale (probably an UL) about the milk shakes.
Last time I had one - decades ago - it was nice and cold and sort-of grainy. People said that this was crystals of ice from the ice-cream they used in the shakes. A while after, I heard the story that the 'grain' was in fact edible, food-grade plastic powder that was added in order to make the customers think it was made with ice-cream.
 
Stormkhan said:
Thinking of McD's, I recall a tale (probably an UL) about the milk shakes.
Last time I had one - decades ago - it was nice and cold and sort-of grainy. People said that this was crystals of ice from the ice-cream they used in the shakes. A while after, I heard the story that the 'grain' was in fact edible, food-grade plastic powder that was added in order to make the customers think it was made with ice-cream.
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You are correct ...

The "McDonalds shakes contain plastic" rumor dates back almost a half-century. I first heard it from a friend who had a part-time job as a McDonalds shift supervisor circa 1972 / 1973. He was upset because they fed bags of some material into the Soft-Serve / shakes machines that contained "plastic pellets" (his terminology).

Part of the misunderstanding relates to the term "plastic." A plastic is any non-natural material consisting of hydrocarbons or similar chemical chains of carbon, hydrogen and oxygen, of which the petroleum-derived plastics in all manner of products are the most obvious example. There are, however, other plastics that are derived from plant material - e.g. celluloid. The artificial thickeners used in McDonalds soft-serve pseudo-ice-cream and shakes are examples of these latter plant-derived plastics.

This rumor is often prefaced with a reference to the fact McDonalds (and other fast food companies) refer to their drinks as "shakes" rather than "milk shakes" or even some completely different label (e.g., the Wendy's "Frosty"). The reason these companies do not call their products "milk shakes" is because in some US states there are regulatory restrictions on the minimum dairy content (etc.) that qualifies a drink to be labeled a "milk shake", and these regulations aren't uniform nationwide.

See, for example:

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/a-fair-shake/
https://www.sandiegoreader.com/news/1998/may/14/do-they-put-plastic-fast-food-shakes/
http://www.wyrmis.com/journal/2009/06/1516-truth-about-plastic-cream.html
 
Practicing self-aggrandisement?
He suffered from addiction to some morphoids, which you can accept. He'd been struggling with this addiction for a long time.
He had obvious troubles with elderly mother-figures dying (from his own experience) and a psychological need for them not to suffer.
He was a guy who (in his mind) had built himself up to a professional career, against all odds. He wanted money not for money's sake but as 'image'. He'd done good!
But ...
He made the conscious decision to remove/ease their passing/get rid of a lot of patients and faked their "gratitude". He benefitted from their death and, let's not think he was a kindly killer, he made sure or faked that the victims gave him money, not any relatives. He wanted all money, end of.
 
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This still blows my mind. I used to eat at a McDonalds near my house occasionally. It was a new one, built by a long-time franchise holder. The owner decorated it with artifacts from his extensive travels in Africa and other exotic places. It was well done, and very impressive. Supposedly, the corporate flacks told the owner the stuff had to go. The owner said the McDonald's sign would go first. The decor did not change. I do hope it was true.
 
GNC said:
I occasionally wonder what a Mr Whippy is made of. But that might get us into politics (unless that's an urban myth?).
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Nope .. 'she' really did invent that thickener stuff.
 
Swifty said:
I'm not sure how fecal matter could end up in an ice cream van but..
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I think this is the best Swifty line ever.

Mate, there are comedy writers who'd pay millions to come up with a line like that.

If I'd said it that then it would go on my gravestone.

and I really wish I had.

Your man Morcambe would have loved that.
 
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Swifty said:
It's a mostly racist urban legend that I first remember hearing in the 80's: " .. and then they tested the curry and it was found to contain ELEVEN different types of semen!!" .. you never heard this accusation about English restaurants like you also never heard that an English restaurant had an environmental health visit and then they found dead cats in the freezer. As for Chinese restaurants?, the Birmingham joke in the 80's was to say "I'd like some cream of sum yun gi" (cream of some young guy/semen).. I've worked in an Indian restaurant but not a Chinese one. I've also managed an Italian restaurant. Nobody ever has time to masturbate. I certainly didn't anyway. Unfortunately.
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Eleven different types? As in difference species? That's quite a kitchen.

Clearly an urban myth, any more than eight or at most nine, types of semen in a curry and it's buggered.
 
Swifty said:
It's a mostly racist urban legend that I first remember hearing in the 80's: " .. and then they tested the curry and it was found to contain ELEVEN different types of semen!!" .. you never heard this accusation about English restaurants like you also never heard that an English restaurant had an environmental health visit and then they found dead cats in the freezer. As for Chinese restaurants?, the Birmingham joke in the 80's was to say "I'd like some cream of sum yun gi" (cream of some young guy/semen).. I've worked in an Indian restaurant but not a Chinese one. I've also managed an Italian restaurant. Nobody ever has time to masturbate. I certainly didn't anyway. Unfortunately.
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Chef prepared curry after wiping bottom with his bare hands 'for cultural reasons'​

Mahbub Chowdhury, from Swindon, Wilts, had an empty bottle in his kitchen which inspectors discovered was covered in fecal matter

Mahbub Chowdhury prepared food after wiping his bottom with his hands - because he doesn't use toilet paper for 'cultural reasons' (
Image: SWNS)

  • By
    Mirror.co.uk
    • 14:23, 13 Apr 2016
    • UPDATED15:07, 13 Apr 2016
A curry house chef prepared food after wiping his bottom with his hands - because he doesn't use toilet paper for 'cultural reasons', a court heard .
Mahbub Chowdhury, 46, had an empty bottle in his kitchen which inspectors discovered was covered in fecal matter.
He said he filled the bottle with water from the kitchen taps and used it to clean his bottom after visiting the toilet - and did not use paper for cultural reasons.
Chowdhury then prepared dishes including meat and fish curries at his Yeahya Flavour of Asia in Swindon, Wilts.
He pleaded guilty to 10 allegations of breaching food and hygiene regulations at Swindon Magistrates Court and will be sentenced later.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/chef-prepared-curry-after-wiping-7745790
 
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