Minor Strangeness

escargot

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Naughty_Felid

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T'other day I was in the garden with Simbah the cat. It was about 15 minutes before Techy was due home.

I suddenly heard him call out 'Hello!' from the back door, as he does when he arrives home and realises I'm outside. Simbah also seemed to hear him because she jumped up and ran off apparently to greet him. I went too, and we both felt puzzled when he wasn't there!

He didn't arrive home for another 15/20 minutes. We both have a phone tracking app which bleeps when the other's just round the corner, so I'd felt surprised he'd been able to sneak up on me. He hadn't though.

So I dunno what we both mistook for Techy's voice, but it must've been a close match to fool the cat!
That's an interesting vocal Vardoger. You don't normally get a voice with them. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vardøger

https://forums.forteana.org/index.php?threads/my-first-person-vardoger.59376/ This thread also includes my cat Littlelun, (Juna not so little now), also hearing the Vardoger.
 

gattino

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Adrian Andrew.

The awesome dad one pointing to it adds to the impact.
 

Naughty_Felid

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Adrian Andrew.

The awesome dad one pointing to it adds to the impact.
It's hardly a surprise that if his name is Adrian Andrew then it is likely his names are going to come up on a name mug stand which is in alphabetical order.
 

gattino

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What do your mean and what?

He's going to scatter his father's ashes and in the course of the journey sees a display by chance arranged to form his full name , and declaring him an awesome dad. A pleasing and striking synchronicity in the eyes of the bereaved.

Does that not qualify for the minor strangeness thread?


It's not called the impossible miracle thread.
 

gattino

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It's hardly a surprise that if his name is Adrian Andrew then it is likely his names are going to come up on a name mug stand which is in alphabetical order.
No, but it's not inevitable either. Otherwise all the Alecs , Alexanders , Alistairs etc that should come between them would be a little miffed
 

Naughty_Felid

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What do your mean and what?

He's going to scatter his father's ashes and in the course of the journey sees a display by chance arranged to form his full name , and declaring him an awesome dad. A pleasing and striking synchronicity in the eyes of the bereaved.

Does that not qualify for the minor strangeness thread?


It's not called the impossible miracle thread.
Love it! We should make one. :D
 

Ermintruder

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This morning I decided to 'screw my courage to the sticking-place', and pay for my Co-op supermarket shopping via the self-swipe boothes (this usually ends in tears, but I had my options forced for me through circumstance).

None of the traditional isles were open, and the queue at the kiosk stretched all the way back to the late Triassic, with alcohol/tobacco&hope addicts.

I dutifully put my bags-for-life into the bagging-area, swiped my membership dividend card, and began cautiously swiping my grocery items and newspapers across the chastising terror that is a self-service aisle. I was doing so well, right up until I reached the point of swiping the newspapers, whereupon the alarm went off with the warning "please wait, an assistant is coming" (this, of course, gives your fellow suffers an opportunity to see what prophylactics/pharmaceuticals/hallucinogens/bladed weapons you're trying to steal). Anyway, this interruption was just because the Co-op AI was unwilling to accept that newspapers weigh as little as a newspaper.

At last I was at my end...only to be presented with the words we all know and love "No Cash Payments! Cards only!". Suicide seemed a rather extreme mid-week response, but preferable to the prospect of having to reverse my bagpacking efforts, thereafter to join the end of that queue of addicts.

I briefly prayed to the Gods of Co-op, and had a sudden burst of possible redemption....on the screen, right-hand side, was a cryptic button marked "Pay with Member Benefits".

With a beating heart (I am currently alive) I pressed this button, to find that my 'Membership Balance' was £24.28....

And of course (but you knew this already) my totalised nett cost of all items was...£24.28.

Even after two-for-one, multisave buys, discount offers....cost to me was £0.00

So I pressed the 'Pay With Membership Card' button, snorted my derision at AI shopping, and stumbled out of the shop knowing that this time, I had won.

And I nodded to Derren Brown as he winked at me by the exit.

(ps this last bit was made-up, it was actually Dynamo, the Co-op can't afford Derren)
 

Dick Turpin

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This morning I decided to 'screw my courage to the sticking-place', and pay for my Co-op supermarket shopping via the self-swipe boothes (this usually ends in tears, but I had my options forced for me through circumstance).

None of the traditional isles were open, and the queue at the kiosk stretched all the way back to the late Triassic, with alcohol/tobacco&hope addicts.

I dutifully put my bags-for-life into the bagging-area, swiped my membership dividend card, and began cautiously swiping my grocery items and newspapers across the chastising terror that is a self-service aisle. I was doing so well, right up until I reached the point of swiping the newspapers, whereupon the alarm went off with the warning "please wait, an assistant is coming" (this, of course, gives your fellow suffers an opportunity to see what prophylactics/pharmaceuticals/hallucinogens/bladed weapons you're trying to steal). Anyway, this interruption was just because the Co-op AI was unwilling to accept that newspapers weigh as little as a newspaper.

At last I was at my end...only to be presented with the words we all know and love "No Cash Payments! Cards only!". Suicide seemed a rather extreme mid-week response, but preferable to the prospect of having to reverse my bagpacking efforts, thereafter to join the end of that queue of addicts.

I briefly prayed to the Gods of Co-op, and had a sudden burst of possible redemption....on the screen, right-hand side, was a cryptic button marked "Pay with Member Benefits".

With a beating heart (I am currently alive) I pressed this button, to find that my 'Membership Balance' was £24.28....

And of course (but you knew this already) my totalised nett cost of all items was...£24.28.

Even after two-for-one, multisave buys, discount offers....cost to me was £0.00

So I pressed the 'Pay With Membership Card' button, snorted my derision at AI shopping, and stumbled out of the shop knowing that this time, I had won.

And I nodded to Derren Brown as he winked at me by the exit.

(ps this last bit was made-up, it was actually Dynamo, the Co-op can't afford Derren)
Talking of strangeness in shops.

Last Friday after work I popped into M&S to use their in store cash machine.

The cash machine is located on the ground floor level, and as I was 3rd in the queue I was looking around at the different products on sale.

Looking downwards at the floor below, (which is the food hall) I noticed an ex work colleague standing by the escalators dicking around on her mobile phone.

I saw movement on my periphery, so looked to my front and saw the guy at the front of the queue finish his transaction, so I stepped a pace forward.

I glanced downwards again to where my ex work mate was but couldn’t see her, at that moment I felt a touch on my elbow and looked round to see my ex work colleague who had recognised me standing there.

I’d only looked to my front for no longer than 2 or 3 seconds, so how did she ascend those escalators in such a short space of time.

After we had exchanged greetings, and I had finished with the cash machine, I counted how long it took for someone from the bottom of the escalators to reach the top – Just over 13 seconds is the answer.
 

packshaud

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Talking of strangeness in shops.

Last Friday after work I popped into M&S to use their in store cash machine.

The cash machine is located on the ground floor level, and as I was 3rd in the queue I was looking around at the different products on sale.

Looking downwards at the floor below, (which is the food hall) I noticed an ex work colleague standing by the escalators dicking around on her mobile phone.

I saw movement on my periphery, so looked to my front and saw the guy at the front of the queue finish his transaction, so I stepped a pace forward.

I glanced downwards again to where my ex work mate was but couldn’t see her, at that moment I felt a touch on my elbow and looked round to see my ex work colleague who had recognised me standing there.

I’d only looked to my front for no longer than 2 or 3 seconds, so how did she ascend those escalators in such a short space of time.

After we had exchanged greetings, and I had finished with the cash machine, I counted how long it took for someone from the bottom of the escalators to reach the top – Just over 13 seconds is the answer.
The fairies stole ten seconds from you. Be careful, they might get greedier over time.
 

Sollywos

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With a beating heart (I am currently alive) I pressed this button, to find that my 'Membership Balance' was £24.28....

And of course (but you knew this already) my totalised nett cost of all items was...£24.28.
I feel a bit better about myself after reading your account, it seems I am in good company in my phobia about those damn self checkout things!! That could so have been me .. well apart from buying a newspaper, the only thing I do with them in a supermarket is turn them face downwards, a futile gesture I know, I know, I know but what can you do?

Anyway not wishing to burst your bubble or anything but could the membership balance thingy have been set up to only show what you needed to make the paying process easier (one button instead of 2 or 3) and that your actual balance is greater than that? I do so hope I'm wrong! But even if I'm not it was still great that you saw the button in time and you had a story to tell me to brighten my day. See you went through all that angst just to cheer me up. :)

btw Yes suicide did seem a bit of an over reaction but it would have been uppermost in my list of options as well! I suspect that I'd have just walked off and left the lot there .......... and never dared go into the shop again! (Yes I'm good at futile gestures) 'sides it would give work back to the staff that I'd taken from them by using the bloody thing in the first place!

Sollywos (or should that be Luddite) x
 
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packshaud

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I am slowly getting more sympathetic with the Luddites.

I appreciate a lot my paper books, immune to dying flash memory cells (fortunately I don't use mechanical hard disks anymore; rust spinning over a glass disk in a sealed container filled with helium doesn't inspire confidence). Of course, you must always be on the look for bookworms, but they won't go poof in a whim (except for the occasional travel; I organize my books by author and title order, so that I won't misplace them; my copy of Jacques Vallée Confrontations went out to fly with the grays for a while, and came back to its proper place some days later).

I am always afraid the credit and debit card network will fail, and I use to carry cash with me as a backup measure. With change, when possible; showing merchants a R$ 100 bill (worth about £ 20, but still the largest one) makes them look at you like Satan incarnate.

Don't get me started on the bloody small screws; these too often slip away through cracks in our reality in the cleanest rooms, to never be seen again.
 

gordonrutter

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This morning I decided to 'screw my courage to the sticking-place', and pay for my Co-op supermarket shopping via the self-swipe boothes (this usually ends in tears, but I had my options forced for me through circumstance).

None of the traditional isles were open, and the queue at the kiosk stretched all the way back to the late Triassic, with alcohol/tobacco&hope addicts.

I dutifully put my bags-for-life into the bagging-area, swiped my membership dividend card, and began cautiously swiping my grocery items and newspapers across the chastising terror that is a self-service aisle. I was doing so well, right up until I reached the point of swiping the newspapers, whereupon the alarm went off with the warning "please wait, an assistant is coming" (this, of course, gives your fellow suffers an opportunity to see what prophylactics/pharmaceuticals/hallucinogens/bladed weapons you're trying to steal). Anyway, this interruption was just because the Co-op AI was unwilling to accept that newspapers weigh as little as a newspaper.

At last I was at my end...only to be presented with the words we all know and love "No Cash Payments! Cards only!". Suicide seemed a rather extreme mid-week response, but preferable to the prospect of having to reverse my bagpacking efforts, thereafter to join the end of that queue of addicts.

I briefly prayed to the Gods of Co-op, and had a sudden burst of possible redemption....on the screen, right-hand side, was a cryptic button marked "Pay with Member Benefits".

With a beating heart (I am currently alive) I pressed this button, to find that my 'Membership Balance' was £24.28....

And of course (but you knew this already) my totalised nett cost of all items was...£24.28.

Even after two-for-one, multisave buys, discount offers....cost to me was £0.00

So I pressed the 'Pay With Membership Card' button, snorted my derision at AI shopping, and stumbled out of the shop knowing that this time, I had won.

And I nodded to Derren Brown as he winked at me by the exit.

(ps this last bit was made-up, it was actually Dynamo, the Co-op can't afford Derren)
I would have walked out. Hate the bloody things. I have had a sales assistant refuse to open a checkout as per my request so I just popped my shopping int he floor and walked out.
 

escargot

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I would have walked out. Hate the bloody things. I have had a sales assistant refuse to open a checkout as per my request so I just popped my shopping int he floor and walked out.
It's not the sales assistant's decision whether to open a checkout or not so that person couldn't have done it.
 

PeteS

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I would have walked out. Hate the bloody things. I have had a sales assistant refuse to open a checkout as per my request so I just popped my shopping int he floor and walked out.
Like your style! I don't use them either, preferring to pay a real person for my stuff. Very occasionally Ms Petes insists on using these infernal machines so to embarrass her I always make a reply to the talking ones, much to the amusement of staff and other shoppers.
 

PeteS

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This morning I decided to 'screw my courage to the sticking-place', and pay for my Co-op supermarket shopping via the self-swipe boothes (this usually ends in tears, but I had my options forced for me through circumstance).

None of the traditional isles were open, and the queue at the kiosk stretched all the way back to the late Triassic, with alcohol/tobacco&hope addicts.

I dutifully put my bags-for-life into the bagging-area, swiped my membership dividend card, and began cautiously swiping my grocery items and newspapers across the chastising terror that is a self-service aisle. I was doing so well, right up until I reached the point of swiping the newspapers, whereupon the alarm went off with the warning "please wait, an assistant is coming" (this, of course, gives your fellow suffers an opportunity to see what prophylactics/pharmaceuticals/hallucinogens/bladed weapons you're trying to steal). Anyway, this interruption was just because the Co-op AI was unwilling to accept that newspapers weigh as little as a newspaper.

At last I was at my end...only to be presented with the words we all know and love "No Cash Payments! Cards only!". Suicide seemed a rather extreme mid-week response, but preferable to the prospect of having to reverse my bagpacking efforts, thereafter to join the end of that queue of addicts.

I briefly prayed to the Gods of Co-op, and had a sudden burst of possible redemption....on the screen, right-hand side, was a cryptic button marked "Pay with Member Benefits".

With a beating heart (I am currently alive) I pressed this button, to find that my 'Membership Balance' was £24.28....

And of course (but you knew this already) my totalised nett cost of all items was...£24.28.

Even after two-for-one, multisave buys, discount offers....cost to me was £0.00

So I pressed the 'Pay With Membership Card' button, snorted my derision at AI shopping, and stumbled out of the shop knowing that this time, I had won.

And I nodded to Derren Brown as he winked at me by the exit.

(ps this last bit was made-up, it was actually Dynamo, the Co-op can't afford Derren)
Made me laugh out loud on a horribly dull Friday am, Ermintruder. Thank you.
 

CarlosTheDJ

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I use self-checkouts all the time. Scan your stuff, wait for someone to confirm that you're 'clearly over 18', swipe your contactless, done.

In the rare instances I'm not buying beer the second step is skipped so it's even quicker.

Why do people hate them?
 

Mythopoeika

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I use self-checkouts all the time. Scan your stuff, wait for someone to confirm that you're 'clearly over 18', swipe your contactless, done.

In the rare instances I'm not buying beer the second step is skipped so it's even quicker.

Why do people hate them?
I hate them because they put people out of work.
 

Coypu

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It's now made by floating molten glass on a bed of mercury, to ensure that it is consistently flat.
Just to be a pedant , it's floated over a bed of molten tin. If mercury was used it would boil off resulting in some very poisonous fumes.. ;)
 

CarlosTheDJ

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I hate them because they put people out of work.
Do they?

The Tesco I use still has queues at every till for 'big shops', three people work on the self-checkouts (at a time), and I'm guessing people (like me) are far more likely to go in and buy a few bits using the self-checkout than stand in a queue behind people with trolleys. I would say they generate more sales.
 

Mythopoeika

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Do they?

The Tesco I use still has queues at every till for 'big shops', three people work on the self-checkouts (at a time), and I'm guessing people (like me) are far more likely to go in and buy a few bits using the self-checkout than stand in a queue behind people with trolleys. I would say they generate more sales.
Most of the supermarkets I use have replaced more and more conventional tills with these new ones. But yes, they can fit several of these into the space formerly occupied by a human operated till. I do think they are reducing the number of till jobs.
 

Eponastill

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I use self-checkouts all the time. Scan your stuff, wait for someone to confirm that you're 'clearly over 18', swipe your contactless, done.

In the rare instances I'm not buying beer the second step is skipped so it's even quicker.

Why do people hate them?
I hate them because they never seem to work properly and somebody has to come over and sort out the problem (I'd say more than half the time, maybe it's just me confusing them, going too quickly or too slowly or something). And I hate their patronising voices (have you swiped your nectar card?!).
Yeah well I still use them, I admit.
But I left my job at the library when they brought them in, because I was reprimanded for actually helping customers at the desk and talking to them like human beings ("they have to use the self-service" - what, even older people and technophobes and people with small children and people with learning disabilities and people who just want a chat, and people who want to talk about books?! oh yes. My cynicism ratcheted up a further notch that day)
 

Iris

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One of my friends who knits for charity went into Big W the other day to buy some wool.
There was no one on the assisted checkout she usually uses and the one girl on duty said she had to use the self checkout.
When she said she didn't know what to do the girl said" well you will just have to learn" and rudely pushed the buttons and threw her wool so hard it landed on the floor. She said she won't be shopping there in future.
 

gordonrutter

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It's not the sales assistant's decision whether to open a checkout or not so that person couldn't have done it.
he may not have been a sales assistant, the person who was there, I asked if he would open it and he just said no. No explanation or anything.
 

escargot

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H

he may not have been a sales assistant, the person who was there, I asked if he would open it and he just said no. No explanation or anything.
We get asked at work to do things we're not allowed to. Sometimes a good answer is just 'No' because giving an explanation can lead to an argument.
 
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