Since for you the penny has dropped, have you experienced any gnostic insights or supranatural enlightenments?
Might a guest biped have artfully, wilfully or unwittingly, inserted a minordinate coin of the realm into the underscarp of your funiture?
Is it a smooth worn 1897 Victorian cartwheel or a modern gleaming disk of metallic meaninglessness?
Pennies possess paramagnetic properties (this statement is both true & correct).
Might it have been birthed (or pooped) from the chair's fundament, following a slow sliding passage from person (previous)'s puckered pocket, plummeting heads over tails into the tight unremitting receptive slot of arm/back or cushion?
I think this is evidence of Them. It's circumstantial. But They (the overpaid, loose-pocketed furniture removal men of this world) have been resting on their Laura Ashleys for too long. Change has got to happen: and my tip is maybe this time it did.
You are the Duke of Edinburgh, and I claim my £5 (though evidently not from you)
I have just realised that in a rather geo-nondiverse way, I've forgotten where you're held captive. Are you sitting in the Untied Kingdom, greater Eorpa, the Americas, Antarctica-Australasia or somewhere exotic like Albania? Because they all have different Pennies, you know. Mine used to be a midwife, before I appointed her as my aunt