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Missing In Action: Members Who've Gone Silent / Haven't Been Seen For Some Time

Well said all.

Zebs, please accept my sincerest good wishes, just as you are thinking of others at a worrying time.

I'm sure you don't need telling that this isn't as uncommon an experience as we'd all like, but don't forget that medical professionals (especially caring and diligent ones) are very careful to take such diagnoses seriously and get as many highly-trained brains on the job as possible.

I don't know you IRL, yet my owly-sense is telling me you'll get through this - as do millions of others all the time.
 
Schrodinger's Zebra said:
OK hopefully this is the right place to put this, I didn't want to start a whole new thread just about me and my problems.

As I may have casually mentioned, I have been having various medical tests and procedures over the last year, or just under a year I guess.

I was going to write a whole explanation, but you don't need to hear that. Suffice to say, I saw a consultant at hospital this morning to discuss results of my most recent test. And was given the bombshell that they've found a 'growth' and rather than being all ready to get to the end of this year-long nightmare I now must face some more tests and waits for results, which could be quite bad (to put it mildly).

There was another person in the room when me and Mr Zebra had the update with the consultant - the other person being an oncologist nurse (I think that's the term).

I guess you can see where this is going. I'm currently trying to hold it all together and not freak out, not easy when I have been suffering from Health Anxiety pretty much ever since all this started.

I'll be frank with you, my dear FT friends whom I have got to know and love over the last few months; I'm convinced I'm going to die. No, this isn't some attempt at getting attention, or owt like that. I can just feel it. Why else would an oncologist nurse be part of the consultation this morning. Despite both her and the consultant saying they don't know if I have cancer or not, I think they do know, and they just won't or can't say until the tests are done. Blood test (done this morning) and CT scan of my pelvis, abdomen and chest - they're looking to see how far it's spread, I guess.

In the car on the way back from the hospital this morning, Mr Zebra and I started discussing possible outcomes etc., and I suddenly said to him - "Bet you never thought we'd be having this particular discussion, did you." It seems surreal, even though there's been other similar worries towards the end of last year, this seems a million times worse.

Well anyway, I hope I will be back, but I can't really think about posting on here at the moment when there's so much else going on, I trust you'll understand. So I thought it best to let you know cos didn't want you wondering where I was.

Love and :oldm:

Zebs. xxxxx

Oh and, if you want to pray to God, Allah, Flying Spaghetti Monster, the kitchen sink, the cat, whatever, please go ahead, cos I think I'm going to need every bit of help I can.

Take care everyone. I hope your own collective and individual problems get sorted satisfactorily, I can't name all your names, but I know some of you are also going through tough times and I think about and wish for you too.
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I don't pray but I'll be thinking about you. I hope you get the all clear.
 
Schrodinger's Zebra said:
I'll be frank with you, my dear FT friends whom I have got to know and love over the last few months; I'm convinced I'm going to die. No, this isn't some attempt at getting attention, or owt like that. I can just feel it. Why else would an oncologist nurse be part of the consultation this morning. Despite both her and the consultant saying they don't know if I have cancer or not, I think they do know, and they just won't or can't say until the tests are done. Blood test (done this morning) and CT scan of my pelvis, abdomen and chest - they're looking to see how far it's spread, I guess.
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Insider knowledge here, please listen. They don't know, otherwise they would tell you, they would not be afraid to tell you believe me they do it everyday, and it'd be unethical not to. Please believe me, doctors are very ethical folk. They do not know yet Zebra. That's why they ordered more tests. The oncology nurse was there because the oncologist was holding a clinic, consultants do not travel alone. That is why she was there no more, no less. I don't know you, but I know what a shit awful time this is. Just you and Mr Zebra get through this shit until you do know, then you may well find things easier to deal with.
 
oldrover said:
Insider knowledge here, please listen. They don't know, otherwise they would tell you, they would not be afraid to tell you believe me they do it everyday, and it'd be unethical not to.
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@Shrodinger's Zebra:

I totally-agree with what's being said here by @oldrover . My SO went through exactly the same protocols / procedures / experiences you are going through, from Easter this year onwards. And they are doing brilliantly.

Be strong <hugs>
 
Krepostnoi said:
7 months since @Ulalume was last here, and a month since her blog was updated. I'm not able to leave a comment on her blog (but blogspot doesn't play nicely with Vietnamese ISPs, so I don't want to read too much into that.) Is anyone in touch with her through other channels, and can convey to her how much her presence here was valued and, consequentially, how much she is missed? No pressure to return, but I just hope she's ok.
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I'm sure she's just fine. @Ulalume wasn't entirely comfortable with the way the forum adjusted itself last year and decided to vote with her cute stripey cybersocks, along with two or three others, but without the fanfare. I miss her a great deal too and hope she pops by for a cup of coffee some time. I have no personal contact through other channels, but you might try to PM her and see if she's still receiving. I fear twill be in vain tho.

If y'all're lurking, 'Lumes, say haah some taahm. We'd love to know how y'all are doin'. I'll even wear my special avatar just for y'all.
I_love_Victoria_Texas_Mugs_300x300.jpg
I_love_Victoria_Texas_Mugs_300x300.jpg
 
Schrodinger's Zebra said:
OK hopefully this is the right place to put this, I didn't want to start a whole new thread just about me and my problems.

As I may have casually mentioned, I have been having various medical tests and procedures over the last year, or just under a year I guess.

I was going to write a whole explanation, but you don't need to hear that. Suffice to say, I saw a consultant at hospital this morning to discuss results of my most recent test. And was given the bombshell that they've found a 'growth' and rather than being all ready to get to the end of this year-long nightmare I now must face some more tests and waits for results, which could be quite bad (to put it mildly).

There was another person in the room when me and Mr Zebra had the update with the consultant - the other person being an oncologist nurse (I think that's the term).

I guess you can see where this is going. I'm currently trying to hold it all together and not freak out, not easy when I have been suffering from Health Anxiety pretty much ever since all this started.

I'll be frank with you, my dear FT friends whom I have got to know and love over the last few months; I'm convinced I'm going to die. No, this isn't some attempt at getting attention, or owt like that. I can just feel it. Why else would an oncologist nurse be part of the consultation this morning. Despite both her and the consultant saying they don't know if I have cancer or not, I think they do know, and they just won't or can't say until the tests are done. Blood test (done this morning) and CT scan of my pelvis, abdomen and chest - they're looking to see how far it's spread, I guess.

In the car on the way back from the hospital this morning, Mr Zebra and I started discussing possible outcomes etc., and I suddenly said to him - "Bet you never thought we'd be having this particular discussion, did you." It seems surreal, even though there's been other similar worries towards the end of last year, this seems a million times worse.

Well anyway, I hope I will be back, but I can't really think about posting on here at the moment when there's so much else going on, I trust you'll understand. So I thought it best to let you know cos didn't want you wondering where I was.

Love and :oldm:

Zebs. xxxxx

Oh and, if you want to pray to God, Allah, Flying Spaghetti Monster, the kitchen sink, the cat, whatever, please go ahead, cos I think I'm going to need every bit of help I can.

Take care everyone. I hope your own collective and individual problems get sorted satisfactorily, I can't name all your names, but I know some of you are also going through tough times and I think about and wish for you too.
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Keep your fears in check. Ask the odds of everything, but remember that you can always roll a six--especially when the game is against you.

But perhaps you don't even need to roll; perhaps the game hasn't even begun.

Expect to see you here again before too very long.
 
Schrodinger's Zebra said:
...I was going to write a whole explanation, but you don't need to hear that. Suffice to say, I saw a consultant at hospital this morning to discuss results of my most recent test. And was given the bombshell that they've found a 'growth' and rather than being all ready to get to the end of this year-long nightmare I now must face some more tests and waits for results, which could be quite bad (to put it mildly)...
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At times like this it's hard to avoid platitudes, and team-talk air punching. Nothing wrong with that, but I'm not myself really very good at it so I'm sorry if I sound a little cold-bloodedly pragmatic.

Last year my brother went through the whole 'growth' thing; spent several months expecting the worst, and being prepared for that possibility - turned out to be nothing much that couldn't be dealt with. I know several people who have had much worse news, and come out the other side. (In fact I'm working with one right now - titanium heart valve and all!)

My sister in law went through a very serious illness - pulled right through the other side, got the all-clear and is now running marathons. Two pieces of advice she was given in the early stages by someone who had been through the same thing turned out to be very useful, and have always resounded:

Avoid those who come out of the woodwork to 'feel your pain', sit with a studiously composed concerned look on their face and never want to talk about anything else but your illness, every single bloody time they see you (and how very good they are at 'being there' for you).

These are not your friends. Your friends eat their own pain - they do practical things without fuss and fanfare; they sit and listen when you need it, not when they want it - or because they need to prove how sensitive they are; they do not define you by your illness; they do things that you will never know they've done; they bully and cajole you - make you laugh at yourself. But they also know exactly when to back off, keep quiet and leave the floor to you. If the news really is bad it will be the bluff sergeants of life who will help you through - not the wan and weeping actors.

Two: Look after those around you. If the news is not good the focus will, quite rightly, be on you. Sometimes those close to you can feel lost in the whole process - and it is, I believe, not unusual for those who have suffered an illness to come out the other side less psychologically exhausted by the process than their nearest and dearest. Make sure those who look after you are looked after themselves.

All the best Schrodinger's Zebra. I'm sure all out thoughts are with you. Maybe visit every now and then to let us know how you are - or, when you feel the need, just to shout at the walls.
 
Schrodinger's Zebra said:
OK hopefully this is the right place to put this, I didn't want to start a whole new thread just about me and my problems.

As I may have casually mentioned, I have been having various medical tests and procedures over the last year, or just under a year I guess.

I was going to write a whole explanation, but you don't need to hear that. Suffice to say, I saw a consultant at hospital this morning to discuss results of my most recent test. And was given the bombshell that they've found a 'growth' and rather than being all ready to get to the end of this year-long nightmare I now must face some more tests and waits for results, which could be quite bad (to put it mildly).

There was another person in the room when me and Mr Zebra had the update with the consultant - the other person being an oncologist nurse (I think that's the term).

I guess you can see where this is going. I'm currently trying to hold it all together and not freak out, not easy when I have been suffering from Health Anxiety pretty much ever since all this started.

I'll be frank with you, my dear FT friends whom I have got to know and love over the last few months; I'm convinced I'm going to die. No, this isn't some attempt at getting attention, or owt like that. I can just feel it. Why else would an oncologist nurse be part of the consultation this morning. Despite both her and the consultant saying they don't know if I have cancer or not, I think they do know, and they just won't or can't say until the tests are done. Blood test (done this morning) and CT scan of my pelvis, abdomen and chest - they're looking to see how far it's spread, I guess.

In the car on the way back from the hospital this morning, Mr Zebra and I started discussing possible outcomes etc., and I suddenly said to him - "Bet you never thought we'd be having this particular discussion, did you." It seems surreal, even though there's been other similar worries towards the end of last year, this seems a million times worse.

Well anyway, I hope I will be back, but I can't really think about posting on here at the moment when there's so much else going on, I trust you'll understand. So I thought it best to let you know cos didn't want you wondering where I was.

Love and :oldm:

Zebs. xxxxx

Oh and, if you want to pray to God, Allah, Flying Spaghetti Monster, the kitchen sink, the cat, whatever, please go ahead, cos I think I'm going to need every bit of help I can.

Take care everyone. I hope your own collective and individual problems get sorted satisfactorily, I can't name all your names, but I know some of you are also going through tough times and I think about and wish for you too.
Click to expand...

I'm really sorry you have this to deal with. Can't give any advice, except to agree that the medics will tell you straight what's going on especially if you ask specific questions. If you always have someone with you they can listen too.

You have all our best wishes.
 
escargot said:
Have I missed something? What changed?

(Must admit, the expression 'adjusted itself' brought to mind that little manual jiggle men do now and then.)
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Please don't take my own understanding as Ulalume's reasoning for not being here anymore. All I know is that she wasn't entirely happy. If you want to delve, ask her. My take is that there was a crocodile involved. Might've been a Alla gayta.
 
Schrodinger's Zebra said:
OK hopefully this is the right place to put this, I didn't want to start a whole new thread just about me and my problems.

As I may have casually mentioned, I have been having various medical tests and procedures over the last year, or just under a year I guess.

I was going to write a whole explanation, but you don't need to hear that. Suffice to say, I saw a consultant at hospital this morning to discuss results of my most recent test. And was given the bombshell that they've found a 'growth' and rather than being all ready to get to the end of this year-long nightmare I now must face some more tests and waits for results, which could be quite bad (to put it mildly).

There was another person in the room when me and Mr Zebra had the update with the consultant - the other person being an oncologist nurse (I think that's the term).

I guess you can see where this is going. I'm currently trying to hold it all together and not freak out, not easy when I have been suffering from Health Anxiety pretty much ever since all this started.

I'll be frank with you, my dear FT friends whom I have got to know and love over the last few months; I'm convinced I'm going to die. No, this isn't some attempt at getting attention, or owt like that. I can just feel it. Why else would an oncologist nurse be part of the consultation this morning. Despite both her and the consultant saying they don't know if I have cancer or not, I think they do know, and they just won't or can't say until the tests are done. Blood test (done this morning) and CT scan of my pelvis, abdomen and chest - they're looking to see how far it's spread, I guess.

In the car on the way back from the hospital this morning, Mr Zebra and I started discussing possible outcomes etc., and I suddenly said to him - "Bet you never thought we'd be having this particular discussion, did you." It seems surreal, even though there's been other similar worries towards the end of last year, this seems a million times worse.

Well anyway, I hope I will be back, but I can't really think about posting on here at the moment when there's so much else going on, I trust you'll understand. So I thought it best to let you know cos didn't want you wondering where I was.

Love and :oldm:

Zebs. xxxxx

Oh and, if you want to pray to God, Allah, Flying Spaghetti Monster, the kitchen sink, the cat, whatever, please go ahead, cos I think I'm going to need every bit of help I can.

Take care everyone. I hope your own collective and individual problems get sorted satisfactorily, I can't name all your names, but I know some of you are also going through tough times and I think about and wish for you too.
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My Mum's having a mal tumour cut out in a week or two .. loads of love Zebs and cancer isn't as dangerous as it used to be when caught in time XX .. I've got a feeling you'll have a shitty time of it all but you'll be OK again at the end of it .. big love to you and Mr Zebs XX
 
Swifty said:
My Mum's having a mal tumour cut out in a week or two .. loads of love Zebs and cancer isn't as dangerous as it used to be when caught in time XX .. I've got a feeling you'll have a shitty time of it all but you'll be OK again at the end of it .. big love to you and Mr Zebs XX
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I agree - my mum was diagnosed with lung cancer a few years back - within 6 months she got the all clear and hasn't looked back. She's 88 now and planning her 90th.
 
I'm not disappearing in a puff of smoke, but as from Sunday I'm overseas for a week or two.

I'm not able to say whether I'll be checking in regularly or not, so apologies in advance if things get a little messy and the tape on the answering machine runs out.

*Insert cheers here*
 
skinny said:
Please don't take my own understanding as Ulalume's reasoning for not being here anymore. All I know is that she wasn't entirely happy. If you want to delve, ask her. My take is that there was a crocodile involved. Might've been a Alla gayta.
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How cryptic!
 
Yithian said:
I'm not disappearing in a puff of smoke, but as from Sunday I'm overseas for a week or two.

I'm not able to say whether I'll be checking in regularly or not, so apologies in advance if things get a little messy and the tape on the answering machine runs out.

*Insert cheers here*
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The place will be nothing but a smoking crater when you get back but you go ahead and enjoy yourself.
 
Yithian said:
I'm not disappearing in a puff of smoke, but as from Sunday I'm overseas for a week or two.

I'm not able to say whether I'll be checking in regularly or not, so apologies in advance if things get a little messy and the tape on the answering machine runs out.

*Insert cheers here*
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I was a spinach eating soy boy until I found MAXI TESTOS pills. eat as many as require and ladies wince at my girth. Order quich
www.maxitestos.com.org
 
Yithian said:
I'm not able to say whether I'll be checking in regularly or not
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Presumably the cyberpunk permanent human:computer interface project has run out of coffee beans?

Can't you leave your ectoplasmic equivigilent doppledoesit in charge? I don't mean @stuneville , perhaps I just mean the rocking-chair that's twine-balled to Sigma Octantis....

(Anyway, I'm highly-skeptical about @stuneville. There have been so few sightings over recent years. I doubt whether there can be a viable breeding population of the rare creatures (plus, what are they eating? Pork pies without pork or pies, is what I'm thinking). Been taken away by the fairies, I'm beginning to suspect. To behind a grassy knoll, or suchlike. Anyway, absence of evidence is definitely absence of evidence....but I've already said too much (some things never change !-)
 
Ermintruder said:
(Anyway, I'm highly-skeptical about @stuneville. There have been so few sightings over recent years. I doubt whether there can be a viable breeding population of the rare creatures (plus, what are they eating? Pork pies without pork or pies, is what I'm thinking). Been taken away by the fairies, I'm beginning to suspect.
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Stu Neville?

He is everywhere.
He is everything.
His scales glisten in the bark of trees.
His roar is heard in the wind.
And his forked tongue strikes like....
Like lightningㅡyes, that's it!

I pray thee speak softly.
 
skinny said:
:nods: Just my dumb way of deflecting the inquiring mind. I simply don't specifically know what 'Lumes was miffed about and hope she comes back some time real soon.
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I'm not interested in why anyone stops posting. It's up to them.
It was the mention of changes in the board that caught my eye. Thought I'd missed something important.
 
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