I've just had two dreams that terrified and exhausted me. In the first I was in a flat with two young men. (I'd fallen asleep listening to Talking Til Dawn podcast and, in the dream, I'd set out to find the people making the podcast). I'd walked to this flat, past a school and across a road, I remembered that much. The next thing I 'remembered' was coming to in this flat with the two men. I was sobbing and saying over and over 'I can't remember what happened last night, how did I get here?' and one very young, very skinny man in a black T shirt being totally unconcerned and just laughing. Then the other man threw a box of yellow condoms at me, even though I was pretty sure sex hadn't been involved. It was a horrible tiny flat with two beds pushed into corners. I ran out and down the lane and found the main road, trying to work out how to get home....
And then I dreamed that I was back in my old house. My children were all there, all aged about 8-14, so were my brother and my ex husband and his parents. We were trying to go out for the day but everything was totally disorganised - ex had to plug in the video camera to charge up (it was one of those huge, old fashioned ones) on the landing. People were saying 'I've just got to have a shower' and the faffing about was driving me insane. I was lying on the floor trying to plug in more objects to charge and a man in a scarlet robe walked along and I looked up at him and said 'It used to be like this all the time you know, sometimes twice a day.' He just smiled.
Then I went into my bedroom. My mother was in there, with my brother as a little boy, even though my brother, as an adult, was in the next room. My mother was confused as to why she was there and looking after a little boy. I was terrified, and horrified, and dashed out of the room pulling the door shut, into the next room to tell my brother that 'quick quick, he had to come and see!'. Grudgingly he came with me back into my bedroom, where the bedcover was humped, obviously from two people hiding under the covers. I pulled the cover back quickly to try to show him my mother and himself as a boy but....they were gone. There was nothing plumping out the covers. He believed me, but I kept saying 'you saw there must have been someone under the covers, right?'
The frustration of trying to organise people to get out of the house and the level of horror at seeing my (deceased) mother and my brother has he had used to be. woke me up.