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Most Horrible Day Ever?

Victory said:
there is no onus on you to give anyone a ride, especially if you are alone and unarmed.
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I agree. I wasn't completely defenseless. I always have 2 knives within arms reach in the car. One a 20" machete. (See, Tarantino re: my life.)

And I'm not trying to trivialize it, just use a bit of dark humor to deal with what I know was a deadly serious situation. And a traumatic one, probably more so for me than him! Because, if he did wake up, he won't remember a thing. And get to deal with a months long series of shots, and reliving the incident in my head over and over.

And the one point I would argue, is that I happen to believe in Karma, as well as the sanctity of life. So, did I interfere with his Karma, his getting what he deserved (?), or did I bring about his ability to get rid of some of that terrible Karma he has accumulated in this life, by "repenting" and stopping his shitty behaviour?

Or did I do a terrible thing, by giving him the chance to hurt other innocent people, which he has proven to be capable of. How will I feel if I find out he does more kiddie porn crap?

Or maybe this whole episode was all for me to reap hoards of good Karma, and become an Enlightened One, and finally pass beyond this realm of suffering?

That's why this is all so confusing me and making me doubtful.

I'm not saying I wish I had done nothing, and I did what I did, so it's all moot anyway.

I just don't know what to feel at the moment.
 
Gizmos Mama said:
I agree. I wasn't completely defenseless. I always have 2 knives within arms reach in the car. One a 20" machete. (See, Tarantino re: my life.)

And I'm not trying to trivialize it, just use a bit of dark humor to deal with what I know was a deadly serious situation. And a traumatic one, probably more so for me than him! Because, if he did wake up, he won't remember a thing. And get to deal with a months long series of shots, and reliving the incident in my head over and over.

And the one point I would argue, is that I happen to believe in Karma, as well as the sanctity of life. So, did I interfere with his Karma, his getting what he deserved (?), or did I bring about his ability to get rid of some of that terrible Karma he has accumulated in this life, by "repenting" and stopping his shitty behaviour?

Or did I do a terrible thing, by giving him the chance to hurt other innocent people, which he has proven to be capable of. How will I feel if I find out he does more kiddie porn crap?

Or maybe this whole episode was all for me to reap hoards of good Karma, and become an Enlightened One, and finally pass beyond this realm of suffering?

That's why this is all so confusing me and making me doubtful.

I'm not saying I wish I had done nothing, and I did what I did, so it's all moot anyway.

I just don't know what to feel at the moment.
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OTOH, this person may have a significant role to play in his future to help someone else in need. In which case you will have paid it forward according to destiny.

I'd be pretty sure your instincts were right and would encourage you to let go of the negative scenarios playing out in your mind. Your actions were heroic. I dare to opine that most people would do the same as you did if placed in similar circumstances.


I did what I did, so it's all moot anyway.
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What has been has been. Keep telling people all about it every day, and you'll find most will give you positive feedback. Accept it. If you're going to have to deal with fantasies in your head as a result of the stress, let them be bright ones. God bless you, GM. I can hardly believe that it all happened in such a short space of time.

Anyway, mission completed. You're a survivor of a massive slap in the face from The Universe. Take your time processing it. Stay positive, mate!

All my love
~ skinny
 
Gizmos Mama said:
I will admit that I actually feel I might regret saving this POS's wasted life. I try to ask myself, if I knew what I know, would I have done what I did? The answer is, I'm not actually sure the answer would be yes.
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You did the right thing, both at the time (based on the information you then had) and (still) now. The motivation was good and the decision was right--you should feel good about yourself despite all the hassle it has brought you (perhaps even more so because of the hassle).

You've (unwittingly or not) given him another chance: a chance to get clean, a chance to sort his life out, a chance to bring happiness to himself and others--and that's what any decent person would do even if they knew his list of sins. The duty to punish him doesn't lie with you. It's either with the courts or God or both.

Whether he takes this chance or not, or whether he ultimately makes you start to regret your actions, well, that's out of your hands.
 
Gizmos Mama said:
[


UPDATE!!!!

Holy F*CK!!!
Hunck, You are a prophet, sir.
And my life is a f*cking Tarantino movie, for real.

This story just got WAY CRAZIER than it already was, if that is even possible.

So, I've been trying to find out what happened to him, but privacy laws are stupid, so no dice there. Period.

So, I was thinking over things he casually said during the drive and remembered enough that I found him. (Online, of course).

Ah, yeah, so... turns out this young guy of 25 has done time for 3 bank robberies, a HUGE credit card skimming scam and child porn, which is just the lowest of the low.

I don't even know what to say. I'm absolutely stunned, and goddamned disgusted, and really confused and angry.

Of all the people out there who deserve a second chance at life, I bring back a loser wanna be Al Capone. Yay, me.

I will admit that I actually feel I might regret saving this POS's wasted life. I try to ask myself, if I knew what I know, would I have done what I did? The answer is, I'm not actually sure the answer would be yes.

Does that make me a terrible person? Maybe I'm just angry right now, and I'll see that I did the right thing once I calm down.

I'm trying to see the positive, like, maybe this will be what turns his life around, and I was the one who gave him that second chance... but I doubt it. He's already OD'd at least once before, if the online gossip is true. I guess one positive is that he didn't murder me? Or that, as Lord Lucan mentioned, at least he wasn't alone when it happened.

It also makes me feel IN_F*CKING_CREDIBLY STUPID for letting this total creep in my car. Gawd! WTF, gut instinct, way to look out for me!

At least I'm glad the Dr. insisted I get the major Hep B shot, and a full course of vaccine. Which I had to take the afternoon off work to go get. Again, thanks, Buddy!

And the worst is, it makes me question whether I should ever help out strangers again. That sucks that I might second guess someone really in need, and not help.

I really don't know how to feel about all this.

Like, seriously, is this a test, because, WTF????

Thanks again for listening, Everybody. You all have been so kind and encouraging and it helps so much. I don't have many friends, which I'm mostly ok with. But when shit gets heavy, it's always good to have an avenue to vent. And, you know, I don't know if it would be good to talk to family, as they would have a hear attack if they knew about this guys history.

So thanks for being here for me, Internet Strangers, and my Fortean Family!
:kiss:
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You still did the absolutely right thing, you saved someone's life.

Whether the guy is a scumbag or a saint, you saved someone's life.

Who knows, one day this person will be alive (thanks to you) to save someone else's life.

Give yourself a medal/a bucket of ice cream/a pint of gin/a special hat to celebrate!

Yithian said:
....You've (unwittingly or not) given him another chance: a chance to get clean, a chance to sort his life out, a chance to bring happiness to himself and others--and that's what any decent person would do even if they knew his list of sins. The duty to punish him doesn't lie with you. It's either with the courts or God or both.

Whether he takes this chance or not, or whether he ultimately makes you start to regret your actions, well, that's out of your hands.
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Well said, Sir. Who are we to judge the worthiness of a life?
 
I understand all the mixed emotions and would feel the same myself,but really situations like that break down two things. The right thing to do and the wrong thing to do. You did the right thing. Regardless of the person's history, you would live with yourself a lot easier by having done something rather than nothing. Maybe you will be the catalyst for the person to change, maybe not, but you still done the right thing.It's like the old question if you knew a sick baby would grow up to be someone like Hitler,would you help them get better or let them die. Of course you woud help it, it's a baby. It's the way most of us are hard wired. It takes a hard heart to do nothing. Don't be too hard on yourself.
 
Gizmos Mama said:
So, as I mentioned in another thread, I am in the process of buying a boat. It is on the west coast, in Washington, USA. I live in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Just about 1000 kms away. I drove out Thursday/Friday, to do the sea trial, (test drive and inspection, basically). Everything was great with the boat! Stayed over night in the States, and was going to power through and drive all the way back in one shot. So far, so good.

Well, did I mention that 800 km of that drive is over the rocky mountains? The weather turned bad about 1/4 of the way back, like really bad driving, with driving rain, turning to snow as you go up in elevation. Crappy. I decide to stop and get fuel. Outside the gas station is a young lad, stranded. He offers to pitch in for gas, and is going to Calgary. I don't usually, (ever!) pick up hitch hikers, but something just said this guy needs a ride. Off we go.

4 hours later, my ass needs a break, and my bladder needs to be emptied, so pit stop. He's in the bathroom for a while, but I'd didn't think anything of it. We grab a snack and hit the road for the most difficult and dangerous part of the road. Hair pin corners, with cliff on one side and nothing on the other. Semis on coming on the narrow road. NO SHOULDERS AT ALL.

We head out, and I'm right in the thick of this winding road. Buddy is talking away, and all of a sudden, he starts slurring his words, really bad. I look over, his eyes are rolling back, and he is hardly breathing! I start shaking him, and yelling that he has to wake up. I pinch his arm sooo hard. Nothing. Now he is turning blue.

Holy Effing Crap! I'm pretty sure he is overdosing, and is dying beside me in my car. And I can't stop anywhere on this road.

I finally find a chain up area, (like a pull out for semis to put chains and break check). There is one trucker there, just getting back into his truck. I lay on the horn, and pull in front of him so he can't pull out. I wave my hands and yell I need help, while I pull the guy out of the truck and onto the ground. He is blue, no pulse, nothing. I have taken first aid training about 10 times in my life, so I do know CPR, but was a bit panicked.

I knew he needed oxygen, but didn't have a mask. I had to do it anyway. He was dying. I know the risk of infection is low (no blood transfer) but I hope I don't regret that later. Started chest compressions. Couldn't keep count, because the groaning he was doing as I was pressing his chest was freaking me out. After 2 rounds of 2 breaths and 30(ish) compressions, I could actually see his heart start pounding again.

Some other people started coming around, and a very nice couple of ski patrol girls saw from the other side of the highway, and turned around to help. I'm glad, because I wasn't sure what to do for a pulse, but not breathing, because I was totally blank on what FA says about that. Trucker says Ambulance is on the way. He's still not doing very good, pretty blue, and not taking regular full breaths.

Ambulance comes, gives him antidote, and gets him oxygenated again. He doesn't wake up before they take him away, though. I ask what I should do about the mouth to mouth, and they say go on your way, but stop in at the hospital at home. I sit in the truck and shake and cry, from all the adrenaline. I just watched someone die in front of me. And I helped bring them back. WTF?

I get back on the road, still pretty shaken, and the weather is getting even worse. Snow is building on the road. Finally get out of the mountains, and then it is a total whiteout. Traffic slows. Traffic stops. On the main Highway across Canada. Highway is closed. Dozens of cars, trucks, buses in the ditch. Traffic backed up for tens of km, with no exits for 40 km.

Did I mention that because I jumped out so fast to rescue the guy, I left the truck running the whole time, using up fuel. Now I'm under a 1/4 tank, and even if traffic goes now, I'll barely make it to the next fill. Have to turn the truck off. Which makes ice form, which means i have to keep getting out to clear the wipers every time we inch ahead. Finally inch to the first exit, and crawl through the back roads. Get to the station on fumes. Fill up. Whew, that was close.

Now, I can get to the hospital, and get some advice on what I need to do in case he had something. Oh wait, Hospital is under construction, and I have to park far from Emerg. Slog through the more than ankle deep slush/snow, only to find my winter boots both have really bad leaks. Now I get to sit in emerg at 2:30 am, with soaked feet, and get tested for communicable diseases.

After driving/stuck in traffic for 18 hrs out of 24, I'm finally home 10 hours later than I planned, had no lunch or dinner, have passed through tired, and exhausted, and come out the other side. I'm worried for the guy. I'm concerned that it was too long before I could stop and give him a breath. I'm worried that because I gave him breaths, now I might have long term health consequences.

So I've typed this up, mostly because I need to let get it out, and nobody is awake for me to talk to.

I've also had some other (more Fortean) thoughts on what happened today, but will share those later, as I can't type anymore now.

FU, most horrible day ever!
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I hope you are getting some peace and able to relax. You did a wonderful thing. Be kind to yourself now xx
 
skinny said:
1 knife on my hip, and a shillelagh close to hand. My little peacemakers. Don't leave home without 'em. Particularly since I spend so much time on the mountain exposed to the starfield. A mental buffer that allows me to de-stress in the open.
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Venomous snakes a serious issue?
 
Hello All,
I've just read all your wonderful posts in reply to this, as I kind of avoided this topic, and this is the first time I've revisited this thread.
I can't thank you all enough for the reassurance and kind words.

I'm so sorry for dropping off the face off the earth. I just felt i needed to let it play out for a bit, then life, buying a blue water sail boat in a foreign country and a pandemic got in the way.

I had a chance recently to hang out and chat with a really great, tough as nails female homicide detective, and she told me that what I did was really exceptional, that less than 1% of people do what I did.

I feel like that really helped me deal with this and put it behind me, (though I did shed some tears for all the heartfelt messages from all of you!!)

As for how I'm doing, I hardly think about it anymore, and all my tests have come back clear so far, so that's good news! I have one more, but it's on hold due to Covid.

I've come to accept that the Universe is apparently using me as a roaming guardian angel for whoever happens to be nearby. I've had more than one incident where I was the only one available to help in life threatening situations. I've posted a story about me having a weird compulsion to go outside barefoot in the middle of a November rainstorm to discover a house fire where 2 people where unconscious inside.

It's weird, but it's my life, so I think I'll keep doing what I do, and listening to that little voice.
Really glad to be back!

LOVE,
GM
 
Gizmos Mama said:
Hello All,
I've just read all your wonderful posts in reply to this, as I kind of avoided this topic, and this is the first time I've revisited this thread.
I can't thank you all enough for the reassurance and kind words.

I'm so sorry for dropping off the face off the earth. I just felt i needed to let it play out for a bit, then life, buying a blue water sail boat in a foreign country and a pandemic got in the way.

I had a chance recently to hang out and chat with a really great, tough as nails female homicide detective, and she told me that what I did was really exceptional, that less than 1% of people do what I did.

I feel like that really helped me deal with this and put it behind me, (though I did shed some tears for all the heartfelt messages from all of you!!)

As for how I'm doing, I hardly think about it anymore, and all my tests have come back clear so far, so that's good news! I have one more, but it's on hold due to Covid.

I've come to accept that the Universe is apparently using me as a roaming guardian angel for whoever happens to be nearby. I've had more than one incident where I was the only one available to help in life threatening situations. I've posted a story about me having a weird compulsion to go outside barefoot in the middle of a November rainstorm to discover a house fire where 2 people where unconscious inside.

It's weird, but it's my life, so I think I'll keep doing what I do, and listening to that little voice.
Really glad to be back!

LOVE,
GM
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Good to hear you're doing okay (and doing Good Deeds!) - your Fortean Family will always welcome you with open arms, a pint of what you like best and delightfully rude school yard humour of the finest quality!
 
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